


Bittersweet Memories

by Bored_Weaver



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-22 16:30:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 62,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21079862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bored_Weaver/pseuds/Bored_Weaver
Summary: Having faced trials and monsters for years, the life of Steven Universe has finally lapsed into another time of peace. His mother's mistakes have been calmed and Beach City is better than ever. All seems well for the Crystal Gems. That is until Steven has a dream, one unlike any he's ever had. When a Gem with ties to the Crystal Gems reappears, the past rears its head.





	1. Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! BoredWeaver here! I just wanted to say a few things real quick, so please listen:
> 
> This fanfic takes place AFTER the movie, so spoilers beware.
> 
> This is a little project I cooked up and am still working on. I'll update when the mood hits me, but I've really been enjoying writing this. No promises for consistent updates. Sorry.
> 
> Anyway, without further ado, please read on!

"What do you mean there weren't any matches?"

Blurred colors swam in my vision, barely distinguishable shapes shifting awkwardly in front of me. One was standing completely still, the other moving back and forth.

"This doesn't just happen!" The pacing blur yelled. "There has to be some kind of record about… THIS!"

The angry shape was suddenly in front me, standing so close that a face started to come into focus. Green skin. A visor. A Gem on her cheek.

"What in the stars are you!"

The world spun, the colors blending in a dizzying swirl that made me feel sick. Stars twinkled high above. I was running. Branches pulled at me as I rushed through a bundle of bushes. I tripped. I was falling, rolling down a hill. I crashed, pain shooting up my back. I struggled to my hands and knees, a scream building in my throat. A light pierced the chaos, pushing back the shadows. My arm glowed, fingers curling into claws and spikes emerging from my wrist. The scream tore free, transforming into a roar when it parted from my mouth.

The ground fell away. I tumbled from the night into a room. Hulking figures loomed over me, so massive that I felt like an insect beneath them. The walls shook as the tallest stepped forward, a voice booming, "Let me get a closer look." They reached down and crushed me in its grip.

I struggled to free myself from the vines, the thorns digging into my skin. They tore free as I raced away, stumbling from alternating between two feet and four, my body trying not to scatter. Noise crashed against my skull. My vision was tunneling. I'm scared. I want to run, but I'm trapped in my body. My back arches, making me fall as my structure becomes distorted. I try to keep running, but my body is already breaking.

Hands grab at me. They pull me up. One of the huge figures is back. She's angry.

"This is a mistake. Destroy it."

Yellow erupts, tearing me to pieces. I howl, forcing myself back together.

"What is this?"

Her shouts shatter the world. She's gone. The pain is gone. Pink. I see pink. Kneeling in front of me, offering me a hand.

"Will you come with me?"

Pink. I still see pink. Flowers? There weren't any flowers last time. It's brighter. The barbs are gone. It's back.

The monster rears. It's scared.

I'm breaking. My limbs are twisted until they're unfamiliar. The light won't fade, my body refusing to return to normal. I need it…

A statue. She's holding roses. I can hear it. I can hear the water!

I race for it, my vision fading. There it is! Her fountain! It's fixed!

As I near the water, my body rebels. It's not meant to go back! It has to be this way!

"It's what needed to be done."

One moment. For that single moment, I'm back in control. My feet leave the ground. Rose-tinged water surrounds me. The noise vanishes. My vision becomes sharper, everything returned to perfect clarity. The light pauses. It starts retracting, returning monstrous figures to fingers and toes. I can move them. My body is mine again.

I'm back… I'm free.

The relief is overpowering. For the first time in millennia, I can rest peacefully. I sink, letting the water purge the sickness from the deepest depths of my being.

I'm me.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I shot up, the covers falling off. It takes me a moment to find my bearings. I'm in my room; it was just a dream. I let out a sigh, leaning back against my pillows. My bed was a mess of tangled sheets. I must have been tossing in my sleep. I try to calm down, but my body won't stop shaking.

Slowly, I get out of bed and pull open the door leading to the balcony. A steady breeze enters, ruffling the curls of my hair. The night is calm, and I hear the waves lapping against the sand of the beach. A gull calls out from somewhere nearby. The scene soothes my alert mind.

That was… weird. I've had bizarre dreams before, but this was different. It was like when I stumbled across Lapis's dream when she was stuck in the ocean, but not entirely the same. Maybe it was closer to when I was looking through Blue Diamond's eyes. Yeah, maybe that's it. It was like I was seeing what someone else saw.

But then… what was the rest of it? Memories? I've gone into dreams and heard others' thoughts, but the only memories I've ever seen were… mom's. But that can't be right. Here Gem is right here, a part of me. I was seeing her fountain like it currently is. It couldn't have been one of her memories. And besides, that doesn't explain what was happening to whoever that was.

Maybe it was just a dream. Or maybe it was someone else's? I don't know. I'll ask Garnet in the morning. Yeah, in the morning.

My thoughts were starting to slow. The ocean had done its job and was lulling back to rest. Yawning, I stumbled back into bed and drifted off into sleep.


	2. Familiar Stranger

The sound of voices made me stir, the beginnings of sunrise staining my room with an orange glow. Remembering the weird dream from last night, I got up, stretched, and walked down the stairs. Gathered in the kitchen were my best friends and family: the Crystal Gems.

"Steven! I hope you slept well," Pearl greeted, breaking away from her conversation with Garnet and Amethyst.

"Good morning," I said.

"Ste-man, what's up? You seem off," Amethyst pointed out, leaning against the counter with her head on her arms.

"Is something bothering you?" Garnet asked from her spot next to the fridge.

I hesitated for a moment before telling them. "I had this strange dream last." I described it as best as I could, but it was difficult since it was all a jumble. When I was done, they seemed as confused as I was. "And that's it," I concluded.

"Did you see a gemstone anywhere on this person you were seeing through?" Pearl asked immediately.

"No, I didn't. At least, not that I could tell," I turned to Garnet. "I wanted to make sure that it was nothing. Do you see anything, Garnet?"

Garnet adjusted her three-pointed visor and fell silent. The rest of us didn't make a sound, aside from Amethyst gnawing on a yogurt cup. After a few seconds, Garnet looked down at me with a small smile. "I don't see any futures where anything comes out of this dream."

I sighed. "That' s good."

"Welp, if that's done, I have to go," Amethyst left her spot and walked over to the Warp Pad. "The Famethyst are visiting New Homeworld and I'm going to hang out with them. Catch ya later."

"Bye Amethyst," I called as she disappeared in a beacon of light. "What are you guys doing today?"

"Garnet and I were going to check some of the old Gem structures left on Earth," Pearl answered. "With so many Gems around, we figured it was would be wise to see if any of them could finally be repurposed."

"Do you need my help?"

"We can handle it," Garnet said. "You deserve a break. Go have fun today." She ruffled my hair affectionately, a habit that neither of us had broken as the years passed.

"I guess I'll head to Beach City. I'll see you later."

"Be careful," Pearl called after me as I walked out the door.

It was hard to imagine having to be careful these days. It had been months since Spinel had attacked Beach City with her giant Injector, and things had once more lapsed into tranquility. Beach City was once again in one piece, the only scar being the craters on the cliff left by the Injector's destruction. Once the grass had grown back, you could hardly tell it was anything more than a depression unless you were to trek across the broken ground. Last I saw, Spinel was fitting right in with the Diamonds, the four of them making each other happy and forming a new family.

The residents of Beach City had done their level best to return the town to its former glory, rebuilding the town almost identically to before it was attacked. Some of the houses and patches of boardwalk were clearly new, but they would take on the same faded wear as their surroundings in a couple of years.

To be honest, it had been a while since I got the chance to just walk around. Rebuilding had been a long process, and it only ended a little over a week ago. I tried to help as much as I could, and the residents of Beach City and New Homeworld were right along with me. Still, the damage had been immense, and while the town may have been whole, fissures still marked the surrounding hills and beneath the shore. But it was over now. The future was ahead of me. I could spend my time relaxing, no more obstacles in my way.

I crashed into something, the collision knocking me down. Forced out of my reverie, I saw what I ran into: a girl.

"Oh. Oh! I'm so sorry!" I jumped to my feet, offering her to pull her up.

"It's alright. I didn't see you. My bad," She took my hand, her stark white fingers standing out against my own. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I said, dusting some sand off my jacket. "I'm really sorry about that."

"We're both sorry, so we're even." She held onto my hand and shook. "I"m Mo."

"Steven," I replied, returning her handshake before letting go. "Are you new here?"

She shrugged. "I only got in today. It took me a while to find this place."

Mo didn't seem like a beachgoer. First of all, she was wearing a thin white jacket with sleeves ending at these metal rings above her elbows. Underneath that was a black shirt with a white "X" on the front. It kind of looked like my outfit, but that's where the similarities ended. Her pants, also white, were loose, the legs tucked into pitch-black boots. She also had this black choker around her neck, which she tugged at after wiping sand off her clothes.

The rest of her appearance wasn't any more colorful. White, limb hair dangled down to her shoulders, only a few shades lighter than her skin. A lock of it seemed to find permanent residence on her face, covering her nose and the corner of one of her eyes. Speaking of which, her irises where a polished gray, like coins on a piece of paper. Mo's face didn't have any defining features so she looked rather plain, but she had bags under her eyes. She moved slowly as if every motion carried a lot of weight.

She let out a small huff once her jacket was cleaned. "That's better." She turned her eyes on me, reminding me of light reflecting off metal. "Now then, could I ask you a favor?"

"Sure," I answered. "What do you need?"

"I'm actually a little lost," she replied, obviously a little embarrassed. "I've been wandering around with no idea where to go."

"Well, I know Beach City, so I can help find where you need to go," I said. "What are you looking for? Funland? The Big Donut?"

"I actually have no idea."

"...You… don't know what you're looking for?"

"Not a clue."

Okay… that's weird. "Then, how are you supposed to find it?"

Mo's fingers snapped suddenly. "That's my problem!"

"Well… uh… is there a clue or something? Anything could spark an idea," I tried to be helpful, but it was getting confusing.

"Hmm…" Mo twirled a look of her hair absently as she thought. "I guess this could help." She turned slightly so that her left shoulder was facing me. A gem with a translucent-white color caught the light of the sun, the table* shaped like two squares overlapping, surrounded by triangular facets.

"Oh! You're a Gem!" I gasped in surprise. I hadn't even noticed her gem when I helped her stand up.

"Yep. A pleasure to meetcha'." She smiled briefly. "And you're Steven Universe, Pink Diamond's successor and savior of the galaxy and whatnot."

I felt myself blush. "That's me. But you can just call me Steven." I shook myself as I turned my thoughts back on track. "If you're here, you must have been looking for New Homeworld. Follow me, I'll show you how to warp there." I took her hand again and tried to guide her to the temple.

Mo pulled back. "Actually, I'm not...comfortable going there." She replied quietly, her posture rigid. "Since I found you, I have an idea of what I'm looking for." Her stance relaxed and she put her hands in her pockets. "Do you know where the rest of the Crystal Gems are?"

"The Crystal Gems?" I mimicked.

"Yeah, you, know Garnet or Pearl. Maybe Biggs or Larimar?" She listed off a few more names. I recognized most of them as those that were freed from corruption and currently living in New Homeworld, but many were unfamiliar. "Could you show me to any of them?"

She knows the Gems really accurately, so Mo probably knows them personally. I just… I've never heard of her. The last time a Gem showed up looking for the Gems, well, it was Spinel. A voice of worry dug into my head before I thought back to this morning. Garnet hadn't seemed alarmed by Mo's appearance when she looked into the future, but she didn't say anything. Maybe this is one of those "pools of improbability?" I don't know. Mo doesn't seem vicious, so I'll trust her.

"Pearl and Garnet are busy and I don't know where to find them right now, and the others are probably in New Homeworld," I told her. "Are you sure you don't want to go there?" Mo nodded. "Well, maybe…" A sudden thought sprouted. "I know exactly where to go! Follow me?"

Mo seemed hesitant, but she pushed that aside and followed anyway. I lead her to my house, through the door and over to the Warp Pad by the door to the Temple. A beam of light lifted us, our bodies hurtling through empty space. When we landed, the air was free of the scent of ocean spray and replaced with traces of pine. To our left was a cornfield. On the right, the Barn.

When we had resettled after returning the Corrupted Gems to normal, construction of New Homeworld took over the space that once housed the Barn. Peridot and Lapis had scrounged as much of the wreckage of their home left from when Lapis dropped it on Blue Diamond. While the pair loved New Homeworld, they missed the sense of seclusion where the two could relax and grow their crops like they used to do. With the help of Bismuth, the trio had relocated the Barn to a new stretch of land and installed a new Warp Pad. It was a few hours' drive away from Beach City, which was a quick flight for Lapis, but still a nice spot for the roommates, now including Bismuth. The three of them had made this area their personal oasis, and they even sold their harvest to Beach City and had donated what they could while the citizens were homeless after Spinel's attack.

The Barn was still its odd assortment of personal items decorating its walls, this time with extra weapons and ores scattered on the ground and propped on hooks. A short distance off, a forge had been set up for Bismuth, not near the quality of her volcanic workshop, but functional enough for hobby projects and equipment for the farm.

Eager barking sounded from the cornfield. A pumpkin emerged from the stalks, tripping over itself as it bounded towards us.

"Pumpkin!" I scooped up the living gourd in my arms, scratching his belly like a normal dog. "I missed you too, buddy. Where are the others?"

Pumpkin licked my face before he leaped from my embrace, barked, and ran towards the Barn. I followed him, making sure Mo was close behind. Pumpkin disappeared around the back of the Barn, reappearing moments later with a familiar green Gem behind him.

"Steven!" Peridot called, throwing an assortment of oddly shaped tools she was holding behind her. "What are you doing here? And who's your friend?"

"Peridot, this is Mo. Mo, Peridot."

Mo waved. "Nice to meetcha' Peridot."

"Mo? Hmm." Peridot noticed Mo's gem. "What's that?"

"That's… her gem?" Peridot would recognize a gemstone from a mile away.

"I know it's her gem, but I don't recognize it." Peridot leaned in, studying the jewel. "I've never seen a gemstone like this. I've never found a Gem I hadn't heard about!" Peridot suddenly grabbed Mo's shoulders, pulling herself up until her face was right in front of Mo's. "What colony are you from? Are you Era 1? Era 2? Era 3? Which Kindergarten where you incubated in? What soil did it consist of? What did the attending Peridots describe our emerging hole like? What powers do you have? What-"

There was a rush of wind as Peridot suddenly disappeared. A blue Gem with wings made of water had snatched her up and flown off. Lapis circled back around, depositing Peridot a safe distance away before landing between us. "Sorry about her. She gets a little excited. I'm Lapis Lazuli. You called yourself Mo, right?"

Mo, keeping a wary eye on Peridot, nodded. "That's me." She used her hand to gesture widely at the farm. "Do you guys live here?"

"Yep. It's our home away from New Homeworld away from Homeworld."

"I like it. It's got a lot of…" Mo thought for a moment while staring at an alien mask with a Camp Pining hat. "Personality. I mean that in a good way."

Lapis smiled, an easier feat to accomplish these days, but still impressive. "Thanks. We like it." Lapis glanced down as Peridot tugged on her golden sash. "Are you going to behave?"

"I'll be nice," Peridot insisted. "I wanted to show them our Meep-Morps."

"Actually guys," I cut in. "We're looking for Bismuth. Is she here?"

"She is. One second," Peridot ran over to the entrance of the Barn, yanked the door open, and yelled, "Hey, Bismuth! Steven's here with a friend!"

I felt Mo tense beside me. Her lips moved inaudibly, but they seemed to form "Bismuth."

Peridot returned. "Here she comes."

"Steven!" I heard Bismuth's voice boom from the Barn, her massive figure appearing seconds later. In her hands was a pipe from the field's irrigation system, the end bent. "Sorry I didn't notice you arrive. I was busy… with…"

Bismuth fell silent as she saw us. The rainbow-haired Gem stared at Mo with an expression that sent me back several years, a moment when she emerged from Lion's mane to a stunned Garnet and Pearl. The pipe fell from her hands, her fingers trembling. "Mo…" she breathed.

Mo was staring right back, the same thunderstruck look on her face. "Bismuth… It's been… I've…You're..." She couldn't find the words to say.

Bismuth took a step forward, then another, and another, until she was sprinting towards Mo, wearing the widest smile I'd ever seen. She scooped Mo up in her arms, pulling her into a hug as she spun the new Gem around. She started laughing, a wild, overjoyed sound that filled the air as tears ran down her face. Mo started laughing along, stuttering and choked, as she joined Bismuth in crying. Bismuth finally set her down, hands on her shoulders. "I never thought I'd see you again! We thought you were shattered!"

Mo wiped away her tears, her tired presence replaced with one of pure joy. "I'm sorry. I tried to get back, but I couldn't. I missed all of you so much. I didn't know… I just didn't know."

"It's alright. You're back now. Everything's alright." They pulled each other into another hug, this time both of them staying on the ground.

"Excuse me," Peridot interrupted. "Would you mind telling us who this is?"

Bismuth released Mo, the latter's head just reaching the large Gem's shoulder. "This! This is Moissanite! One of the very first Crystal Gems!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Table = The flat facet at the center of a gemstone's face (Like the triangle on Sapphire's gemstone or the square on Ruby's).


	3. New Old Friend

“You’re a Crystal Gem?” I blurted, unable to contain my surprise.

“Not just any Crystal Gem,” Bismuth declared. “Moissanite is one of the bravest, most loyal, most powerful Gems that were on our side. She was there when the Rebellion was started, before even myself or Garnet! Mo’s a Crystal Gem to the very core!”

“You’re exaggerating,” Mo countered meekly.

“And might I add extremely humble.”

Mo twirled a lock of her hair as she brushed off the compliments. “I wasn’t a big deal. I was just another soldier.”

Bismuth let out a single, explosive laugh. “You were so much more than a regular soldier. Tell me, who was it that took on an entire platoon of Citrines and came out unscratched.”

“Me.”

“And who was it that invaded a landing ship with me and battled our way through the whole thing?”

“Me.”

“Now who was it that saved me and Biggs from a five Topaz fusion and poofed the whole lot of them?”

“Me.”

“Do you get where I’m going with this?”

“Don’t pay her any mind, she gets ahead of herself when it comes to telling war stories,” Mo informed us. “It sounds more spectacular than it was.”

Bismuth slapped her on the back with enough force that would have sent any human flying. Mo didn’t flinch. “You never change.”

“Why have I never heard of you?” Peridot put it.

“Yeah, that’s a little weird,” I reluctantly added. “I’m sorry, but every time a Gem from the past shows up, they’re usually trying to kill me. Why didn’t you guys mention her?”

The cheer died instantly. Bismuth’s eyes turned upwards, then to somewhere in the east. “It… It was difficult.” Mo remained silent, digging her toe into the ground. “We were fighting just like any other day. Except, this was different. Our allies walked right into a trap that we hadn’t expected. When we got there, it was too late. Everyone was… they were all shattered.”

The air that had been ringing with laughter turned to stone, dropping an insurmountable weight on our shoulders. The Gems don’t discuss the war unless in vague terms. It was a terrible time, and they lost countless friends. Many of which ended up as Gem Fusion Experiments. “I see.” That was all I could say.

“How did you get out?” Bismuth asked Mo, her voice weaker than I had ever heard it. “We thought you were gone. What happened?”

Mo didn’t look up from the groove her toe had carved. “It happened so quickly. We were trapped and there were so many enemies. We fought, and we were losing. Before I knew it, they were shattered. I couldn’t save them. I had to… I had…” Her voice was breaking as fresh tears filled her eyes. “It was the only way I could get out. I’m sorry.”

I didn’t understand what she meant, but Bismuth clearly did. She guided Mo’s head to her shoulder and rubbed her back. “I understand. It’s okay. You’re okay now.”

Mo broke. Sobs wracked her body, muffled against Bismuth’s shoulder. She leaned heavily on the larger Gem, her legs unable to support her weight. Bismuth pressed her head to the top of Mo’s, hiding her face. I turned to Peridot and Lapis as we watched Mo’s composure crumble. Lapis’s face was twisted in pain, fighting back tears. She had been caught in the war, living a horrible experience that Peridot and I never had the misfortune to witness. Peridot laid her palm on Lapis’s wrist, and the ocean Gem wove their fingers together.

Eventually, we made our way into the Barn. The trio had added a mixed assortment of chairs and a small couch against the right wall, all facing a TV with a VCR. Bismuth led Mo to the couch while the rest of us took mismatched chairs. Mo’s sobs had lessened to occasional sniffles, but her grief was palpable.

It was Mo that broke the silence. “I wanted to come back. I tried to come back. I couldn’t. I was trapped. By the time I was freed, it was too late. Everyone was… gone. All I could find were monsters with their Gems. I couldn’t bring myself to poof them. I couldn’t hurt them. I looked for so long, but I couldn’t find any survivors. Then, I saw the broadcast about Steven and his friends. I was so happy. It took me a while, but I found Beach City and found out about the other Gems. I had to find you guys, but I wasn’t ready to meet the others again. I’m… I’m glad you’re okay.”

That’s awful. She spent thousands of years looking for her friends, unable to find any except for those that were beyond her help. She wandered Earth all that time, alone.

“You’re here now,” I said, resting a hand on her knee. “You found us, and you never have to be alone like that again.”

Mo wiped a hand over her eyes, managing a smile. “Thanks, Steven.”

An ear-splitting noise crashed over us. Mo pressed her hands against her ears. “What is that?”

“Peridot!” Lapis barked. “What are you doing?”

I hadn't noticed her get up, but Peridot walked back over with a violin, only that the body and strings were crafted from scrap metal, as was the bow. “I’m trying to cheer her up with music. This violin was admittedly not the best option.”

Bismuth rolled her eyes. “I made that to display, Peridot, not to use.”

“You should have said that. My ears will never recover now.” Peridot said as she levitated the instrument to some unseen cranny of the Barn. “Let’s try something else.” More instruments floated over, as mismatched as every other item in the Barn.

Mo perked up. “Is that a drum?”

“You know how to play?” Lapis asked.

“A bit.”

“Here, take it away,” Peridot floated the drum and sticks over to her, gently placing them in her lap.

Mo rolled the drumsticks between her fingers for a bit before testing a single beat on the instrument. She followed with another, a gentle rhythm forming. It was slow, but it wasn’t sad. She kept the beat just right she that it didn’t drag into a sound of grief, but wasn’t filled with energy either. It was easy to follow, nothing extravagant.

Lapis plucked the tambourine from the air, keeping up with the drum and altering her beat, supporting rather copying. Peridot grabbed her triangle, matching the tone of the melody instead of her normal clamor. Bismuth started humming while I selected the ukelele I had given Peridot a year ago. We sat in our messy semicircle, letting the music lead us nowhere, steering us away from the hurt and confusion. The melody flowed and changed, morphing from one tone to the next. It was a song comprised of many, the incomplete whole from several parts. It was beautiful.

When it ended, that weight had lifted. Peridot insisted on giving Mo a tour of the Barn and farm, Lapis and Bismuth chiming in. She helped them tend to the crops, amused at the ways the pair bickered and chatted without any worry. Bismuth took great pride in showing every aspect of her home forge to Mo, making sure we went over every piece of noteworthy information. When that was done, we returned to the Barn to swap stories. I told Mo about what the Crystal Gems and I had done, especially these last few years, with the trio chiming in to help when they could. Mo, in return, talked about all the places she’d seen while wandering the planet and all the people she met. It was amazing to hear her recount the marvels she came across, and it made me realize how much more I had to see.

I knew the night was a success when Peridot popped in a tape of Camp Pining Heart that drew in Mo within minutes. After each episode, Peridot would ramble about her theories and favorite pairings, with Lapis running interference to protect their honored guest from spoilers. Even Bismuth was fond of the show, not to my surprise, and she and Peridot got into an intense debate over the outcome of a plot triangle, Lapis covering Mo’s ears the whole time. The five of us ended up huddled together, binge-watching the show late into the night. When Mo said her favorite pairing was Pierre and Percy, Peridot practically demanded that she come live in the Barn with them.

We finished the first season and about half of the second when Mo fell asleep. Peridot paused the show while Lapis and I unrolled sleeping bags and pulled out pillows. Bismuth carefully laid Mo snuggly inside the pug-shaped bag and placed a pillow under her head. The three of them hovered for a while longer until dispersing. Peridot disappeared behind her tablet in a corner, Bismuth had gone to her forge like she did every night, and Lapis fell asleep in her hammock by the aquarium-silo. I curled into my own sleeping bag, one shaped like an owl, and laid a few feet away from Mo. I fell asleep shortly after.

Sometime in the night, I woke up for one reason or another. When I turned, I saw Mo sitting up with her back facing me.

“Mo?” I croaked wearily. “Are you alright?”

She faced me, moonlight illuminating her subtle smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s… so nice. I can’t remember when I was this happy. I can’t remember when it was this easy. I thought for a long time that life was just meant to be difficult, an endless struggle with no reward at the end. Now that I’m here, maybe I was wrong. I guess I’m trying to say thank you. I feel so happy being here.”

Her smile is infectious; I could feel a grin crack through my groggy mind. “I’m glad. To tell you the truth, this is the first time some mysterious Gem hasn’t tried to kill me.”

“The thought crossed my mind, but I decided to skip over it.”

I chuckled at her joke. “If only all of them had done that.”

She chuckled back. Mo stared at the aquarium for a while, not a sound other than the distant clank from the forge. I think I may have fallen asleep for a spill, but the next thing I knew Mo was talking again. “What are they like now? Garnet and Pearl, I mean?”

“Pearl’s keeping everything in order and keeping an eye on me and Amethyst. Garnet is, well, Garnet.”

She nodded slowly. “They never said anything about me?”

Flashes of a withered garden replaced my vision, accompanied by those of a crying Spinel. “I’m sure they didn’t mean to hurt you or anything. They aren’t great at talking about the past. They wouldn’t-”

“It’s okay, Steven,” Mo spared me. “I’m not angry. I’m… worried.”

“Worried? What do you have to worry about?” I asked.

Mo’s finger found the stitching of her sleeping bag, tracing a thread without thought. “We were never on great terms. Frankly, Bismuth may have been the only one I was close to all those years ago.”

I hadn’t expected that. “What was the problem?”

“It’s… just how I am, I guess you can say.”

“What’s that mean?” I wasn’t tired anymore. I rose on my elbows to better face Mo. “Did something happen?”

It took some time, but Mo sighed. “It’s a tangent. Buckle up.”


	4. Honest Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is a little shorter. It just seemed like a good length for this chapter. The next one will be longer. Thank you!  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“There’s a reason Peridot has never heard of a Moissanite before. That’s because I’m the first and only one.”

“The only one?” I mimicked.

“Yeah. Crazy, right? It sounds ridiculous.” Mo chuckled, the sound tainted by churned emotions. “Apparently, when the Peridots were sent in to maintain a Kindergarten in a new colony, one the Injectors was accidentally damaged during transport. None of them realized it was busted until after it buried a few Gems. They immediately dismantled it, but the damage was done. They reported the error and thought that a few Off-Colors would be the worst result. Then, boom, I pop up. They had no idea what to make of me. These Peridots had accounted for every Gem that could have emerged from that Kindergarten, but I suddenly show up, a Gem no one had ever seen before. I had no instinctual orders like all the others, and no one had any place for me. I was an outcast, the worst possible mistake. I drifted for thousands and thousands of years with no purpose. When I joined the Rebellion, my whole world changed. I was finally a part of something! I was working with thousands of other Gems for a common goal. I loved it.”

“It sounds great,” I told her. The others had talked with reverence about the Rebellion, but Mo didn’t. It wasn’t some grand act of justice to her. It was a place she belonged because she could be with others like she never had before. To her, the Rebellion wasn’t fighting: it was her friends.

“It was, for a time. Before I started to notice.”

A stone sank into my stomach. “What did you notice.”

She still had that little smile, but her eyes had changed; she seemed so sad. “They steered away from me. I could fight with them, but none of them would come near me. Except for Rose, Bismuth, Pearl, and Garnet. They treated me like everyone else. And then I went and screwed it up.” She laughed, a broken sound tinged with regret. “I tried to fix it but I ended up pushing them farther away. After that, Bismuth was the only one to stand with me.”

“That doesn’t sound like them,” I argued. “I’m sorry, but they wouldn’t do that, not to their friend.”

“I guess I wasn’t their friend anymore.”

It hit hard. It shouldn’t have hurt, but it did. Like each word had been a blow that dug deeper into my gut. “What happened?” I repeated.

Her fingers were still stroking the sleeping bag, wandering purposelessly. “Being the only Gem of your kind comes with having powers no other Gem has. Maybe they’re powers a Gem shouldn’t have. Either way, my abilities, vital to the fight, were the nail in the coffin.”

“What can you do?”

“I should tell you, I know that, but I just can’t. I’m sorry,” She genuinely meant it, her eyes emphasizing every word. “I want this illusion to last a little longer. If I tell you, it’ll shatter. May I have tonight? Just tonight?”

Another secret. I’ve dealt with secrets my whole life, and they never turn out well. Looking at Mo, I know this is a different kind of secret. If I pressed even a little, she’ll tell me the entire truth. I can tell. She’s asking me, not deciding for me. She wants a little more time.

“Alright, it can wait,” I told her.

The effect was immediate in the way her limbs relaxed. “Thanks, Steven.” She yawned, which in turn made me yawn. “I’m going to sleep some more. Sorry for disturbing you.” She laid back and rolled over, hiding away in her sleeping bag.

I stared at her back, turning over her story in my head. I can’t imagine Garnet and Pearl pushing a Gem away like that, especially an ally. Maybe this is all a misunderstanding. Mo may be forgetting something, or she missed something. Tomorrow, Garnet can give us some answers and sort this whole thing out. While the thought should have comforted me, I still had trouble falling asleep. Still, I know I drifted off long before Mo.


	5. Past in the Present

When morning arrived, the five of us (Pumpkin still sleeping soundly) gathered around the Barn’s Warp Pad. Peridot and Lapis had insisted on joining, having grown fond of Mo since last night. Bismuth kept close to the pale Gem’s side, reassuring her each time she spoke her doubts. Mo herself was a bundle of nerves. Since waking up, she’s twirled her hair so much it encased her entire fist, tripped over one of Peridot’s Meep-Morps while pacing, and had debated with each of us whether she should be nervous.

“Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” Mo spoke, once again voicing her nerves. “I don’t know if they’ll be okay with me.”

“Have you ever stolen their ocean before?” Lapis asked.

“No.”

“Did you endlessly barrage them with Robonoids?” Peridot asked.

“No.”

“Have you ever created a weapon meant to mercilessly shatter Gems?” Bismuth asked.

“...No?”

“Have you ever tried to kill me,” I joined.

Mo’s eyes widened. “Who would ever try to kill you?”

Bismuth and Peridot raised their hands. When Lapis’s stayed down, Peridot nudged her with her free elbow. Lapis shrugged. “I never tried to kill him.”

Peridot wasn’t buying it. “Didn’t you try to drown him with a clone made of water.”

“I wasn’t trying to kill him,” Lapis countered nonchalantly.

Mo let out a shaky chuckle. “This makes me feel a little better about myself,” Mo told me. “But I’m questioning your choice of friends.”

“I’ve had my doubts,” I said jokingly. “Now, are you ready?”

Mo’s brief moment of peace passed, replaced once more by her worrying expression. “No, but I’m the closest I can be.”

“Don’t worry, they’ll be happy to see you,” Bismuth reassured her. “Trust me, I’ve been in this position and everything ended up fine. Don’t tell me the ferocious Mossainite, Scorn of Homeworld, is afraid of seeing her friends?”

Mo turned her face away to try and hide the beginnings of a smile. “I’m not.”

“Then let’s go.”

Bismuth stepped onto the platform, holding out a hand for Mo. The original Crystal Gem stared at it for a second, hesitating. She looked at Peridot and Lapis, who gave a thumbs-up and nod respectively. Mo looked at me, her eyes unsure. I patted her shoulder and smiled. “There’s nothing to worry about.”

Mo took a deep breath and took Bismuth’s hand, letting herself be hauled onto the Warp Pad. The rest of us jumped on after and the beam of light whisked us away. Seconds later, we touched down in my house and entered an empty living room. Everything was exactly as I had left it yesterday; the Crystal Gems hadn’t come home yet. We waited, Mo insisting on sitting on the floor since there wasn’t enough room on the couch for everyone, due in part to Bismuth’s bulk. Time passed as we chatted and played games that I pulled out of the cupboard. It was a couple of hours before the Warp Pad activated again. After a few seconds of light, a figure appeared inside before the glare faded.

Amethyst let out a whoop as she bounced off the Pad. “Man, those guys know how to have fun! Hey, Steven!” We exchanged our signature handshake before she continued. “You should have seen it! They gathered all this stuff from Earth: food, fireworks, you name it! We were running around and warping all over the place. Carnelian tried to swallow a firework, and she belched smoke right in Skinny’s face! And 8XJ tried to…” Amethyst continued to recount the antics her Kindergarten family had caused. The list went on for several minutes, each one more outrageous than the last.

“They sound like a lot of fun,” Mo interjected as she watched Amethyst with content amusement.

Amethyst paused mid-breath. Her eyes darted to Mo, sitting less than a foot from her. It was clear Amethyst had overlooked her in the excitement. “Who are you?” Amethyst asked.

“Moissanite, but I prefer Mo,” She introduced herself.

We caught Amethyst up on the events of yesterday, starting with me and Mo running into each other and her reunion with Bismuth and the subsequent evening.

“Guess I wasn’t the only one having a wild time,” Amethyst said. “I’m Amethyst. How come I’ve never heard of you before?”

Mo shrugged. “War. I was thought to be shattered. Secrets.”

“So the usual reasons,” Amethyst groaned as she rolled her eyes. “You’re not going to try and kill us, are you?”

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

“I already like you. What are you guys playing?”

Just like that, Amethyst joined us at the coffee table. Mo hadn’t seemed nervous talking to her, so that’s a positive note. Then again, she wasn’t worried about meeting Amethyst. Still, it a good note to start on.

Another hour passed, and the board games were losing their appeal. Everyone was moving pieces without any enthusiasm. Peridot, who had taken to levitating her spare pieces, dropped her items to the floor and stood up. “Isn’t there something else we could do? It might be days before Pearl and Garnet get back!”

“We can do something else,” I assured the smaller Gem. “I’ve got some movies upstairs. I’ve been wanting to watch Lonely Blade: Further Solitude since it was released.”

“I’ve heard it was garbage,” Lapis cut in.

“Yeah, they have been lacking in quality lately. I think I have some Camp Pining VHS tapes in the closet. We could watch those.”

A shadow passed over the table. Bismuth had risen to her full height, knocking against the table and scattering the pieces, which Peridot righted with a wave of her hand. “I’ve got an idea,” The rainbow-haired Gem said with a hint of a smile. “During the Rebellion, there was a certain rebel who always found a way to keep us entertained.” She directed her word directly at Mo. “Maybe it’s time for an encore performance.”

Mo’s expression slowly changed from boredom to befuddlement to finally understanding. “Really?”

“I would never joke about this,” Bismuth answered. “Come on, for old times sake.”

“Okay,” Mo’s head titled to her right side as she thought. “Quick and short, or full effort? Celebration or solemn?”

“The best celebration you can give us.”

Mo nodded. We all watched as she adjusted on her spot on the floor. The pale Gem rolled her shoulders and took a breath. A slight shift of her legs. I thought she was going to remain sitting. Suddenly, Mo leaped into the air, her body shining. She landed next to the kitchen counter, her jacket morphed into a monochrome vest with long tails tipped with bells. Her limp hair was now pulled back into an untidy knot, and her loose pants and boots had been replaced with slacks and loafers.

Everything about her had changed. Her tired posture was erect, brimming with energy. The brightest smile lit up her face. Every movement her body made was inviting, uplifted. It was like Mo had become a completely different person.

“It looks like we have a full house this morning,” Mo sang, her tone impossibly positive and bright. “Welcome, welcome, I’m glad you could take some time out of your precious time to indulge me.”

“Bismuth, what is this?” I asked the former rebel.

“Just watch.” That’s all she said.

“You sir!” I turned back to Mo. “Yes, you in the fashionable jacket. Might I add pink looks good on you? What do you say, my wonderful guests?”

BIsmuth started clapping. Peridot and Lapis, after exchanging confused looks, joined in. I followed along, trusting Bismuth.

“Thank you, but I’m afraid I don’t deserve your applause. After all, the show hasn’t begun. Now, what would our humble crowd like to request tonight?”

“Free falling!” Bismuth yelled.

Peridot, Lapis, and I were completely lost, but Mo chuckled. “An anxious bunch you are! Your wish is my command.” Mo spread her arms out, palms turned upwards. Smoke rose from her hands, light gray coils merging and splitting ceaselessly, forming clouds that swirled around her body. The smoke began to drift, obscuring the room as it swallowed the light. I expected to cough, but the smoke didn’t hurt my throat. It was pleasant. It was like a breeze with substance, but it wasn’t hot or cold, just soft and wispy.

Snap.

The world spun. The smoke was ripped away as the wind roared in my ears. The floor dropped out beneath my feet. I was falling! The sky was around me, clouds drifting lazily beneath me. Thousands of feet below them, the ground stretched on endlessly, rushing closer by the millisecond. I heard screams. The others were around me, each of them suddenly in the sky alongside me. I have to save them! Lapis’s wings sprung from her Gem. I focused my emotions, finding those that made me feel weightless in any situation.

I felt a hand land on my shoulder. We stopped, suddenly floating in the sky as quickly as we had appeared. I felt myself being right, my feet finding solid ground on open air. Mo left me, helping the others levitate correctly. When they were all standing, Mo strode out in front of us, no sight of anything holding her aloft. “Sorry for the spook, Gems and gentleman, but I didn’t want to disappoint such important guests.”

“Where the heck are we?” Amethyst cried, her normal bravado shoved away by her shock.

“The sky, of course,” Mo said as if it was the most mundane of daily tasks. “Just showing you a fan favorite.”

“A fan favorite what?” Peridot asked, her voice shaking with excitement. “Did you teleport us? Without a Warp Pad? Was that smoke some sort of transportation ability? I’ve never seen anything like it!”

Mo bent her knees so that she looked Peridot straight in the eye. “A true Kindergarten, I see. If you bear with me for a little longer, I think the pieces will come together.” She left Peridot shaking from her curiosity, returning to that empty space in front of us. “Now, may I have a volunteer?”

Something large prodded my back. I turned my head to see Bismuth in my peripheral, her eyes moving from me to Mo. She’s not giving up. I raised my hand.

“Young man! Thanks for offering! Please come forward!” I broke away from the others and approached Mo. She was still smiling. I hadn’t known her long but seeing her like this makes me a little uncomfortable. “Now, what would you like?”

“Huh?”

Mo stepped closer. I had to tilt my head back to look at her. “Tell me. Tell me if it should wonderful or terrible. Happy or sad. Wild or tame. Just tell me.”

What… is she talking about? “I...uh… I don’t…”

“Maybe I should make myself clear.” Her false persona vanished. The real Mo was back, a tired smile paired with an equally tired face. “In this moment, right now, what would make you the happiest?” She held out her hand. I took it. Smoke curled from her fingers, coiling around my wrist.

Happiest? I’m already happy. For once, we don’t have anything to worry about. The troubles are gone. There are no more enemies. For now, everything is perfect.

Just this morning, everything was perfect…

I just love that part, where Pink Diamond spends the rest of her days on this nowhere planet, with a bunch of NOBODIES!

My Diamond! Your Diamond! Pink Diamond!

I wanted to tell you for so long…

If can’t be yourself, I’ll do it for you!

“Something uncomplicated,” I tell her. The smoke has reached my shoulder, it’s presence soothing me from the sudden rush of thoughts. “Something simple.”

Mo nodded, her smile the slightest bit different, a little more understanding. “I can do that. May I see your Gem?”

Out of habit, I clenched the stone through the fabric of my shirt. Mo didn't’ react, just waited. The smoke retracted from my arm, taking its comfort with it. My hesitation passed. I lifted my shirt and showed my Gem to Mo.

It happened again, her smile changed. I can’t place it. It’s a smile I’ve never seen before, one that doesn’t reach her eyes and still seems tired, but there’s something else that makes it almost happy. Mo withdrew her hand from mine, reaching towards my Gem. Her fingers found its facets. Smoke erupted from her body, blinding me. When it cleared, everything had changed.

Something was holding me, water spilling from my clothes. I looked up at what had me in its arms. Framed by the sun, I saw a face familiar yet completely unknown. A round face with a pointed nose and full lips, a steady determination lining her features. Wild hair was gathered into a giant ponytail, untamed and elegant. She moved so swiftly that my vision blurred. We were sliding down the railing of the steps that had taken several long minutes to climb. She leaped, the wind seeming to greet her. Her trajectory was effortlessly perfect, leaping from one floating platform to another without the slightest stumble. We landed just as fast, her four hands laying me down as she skidded to a halt. “Stay low,” She said, a voice as balanced as her movements.

The flock of Corrupted Gems was gaining on us. They formed a mass of beating wings and snapping jaws that sought nothing else than to devour us. I should be terrified. I’m not. As I watch the graceful Gem, a whip and spear materializing in her hands and combining into a bow, I felt no fear. I had no words. All I could do was watch as she pulled back the string, an arrow of light forming. She let it fly, scattering the predators. The arrow burst, a barrage of smaller projectiles skewering the birds, poofing and bubbling them simultaneously.

My thoughts were lost in sheer amazement. It was… incredible. She turned to me, hundreds of bubbles beginning to disappear behind her. She offered me her hand.

My amazement fractured, doubt creeping in uninvited. “Do you… remember me?”

Opal chuckled. In that steady voice, she sang “All you want to do, is see me turn into…”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Steven, you wanna play them the song you wrote?”

My dad looked at me. Why did he say that?

“Um…”

“Come on, you wrote it for them. Seriously, he’s really excited to live with you guys. It’s- It’s all he talks about,” My dad told the Gems, who were watching us. “Don’t you want them to hear it?”

I want them to hear it, but what if they don’t like it. I don’t want to upset them.

“Come on, Steven~”

I looked at Garnet as she said my name. She was smiling. She doesn’t do that a lot.

“Yeah, we’ll like it, even if it’s bad!”

“Amethyst! But... It’s true though.”

Amethyst and Pearl were smiling, too. They agreed. They didn’t happen a lot, either.

All of them, all of the Crystal Gems were smiling. They wanted to hear my song.

I had to play. I took a deep breath and strummed my ukulele.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“The sun is bright, our shirts are clean, we’re sitting up above the sea. Come on and share this jam with me~”

“Peach or plum or strawberry, any kind is fine you see. Come on and share this jam with me~”

Connie stood up, unable to sit still as she sang and played her violin. “I’ll do my best to give this jam the sweetness it deser-er-er-eves~

I jumped to my feet, stomping back forth in time with our makeshift melody. “And I’ll keep it fresh, I’m jammin’ on these tasty preserves~”

We’d practice this next line constantly, working to time it just right. “Ingredients in harmony, we mix together perfectly. Come on and share this jam with me~”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Connie and the washing machine vanished into wisps of smoke. I was back in the living. Mo had stepped back, the traces of smoke vanishing from her hand, a faint glow from her Gem extinguishing.

“And that’s it,” Mo said. “Are you alright?”

It had seemed so real. Each memory was as clear as it was when it first happened. It was like I was back their, re-experiencing each event with fresh eyes. While I was there, they weren’t recollections. I might as well have erased the last few years and started from those exact moments. The emotions I had felt were the same, but it was like they were brand new. Each thought, every action, everything was the same, but it had been the first time I saw them all over again.

“It was… incredible…” I couldn’t even think of what to say. Those three words were as accurate as I could be.

“Wow.”

It was the first time since coming back that I realized I was still surrounded by the others. Each of them was dumbstruck, staring at Mo as if she had glued their gazes to her. They had seen them, too. They had seen and felt the same things I had. They got to see my memories through my eyes.

Mo bowed. “I’m glad you’re all pleased.” Her body shone, her regular attire reclaiming its rightful place. “It’s been a long time since I had the chance to pull out my bag of tricks. Looks like I still got it.”

A blur of green and yellow shot by me. Peridot latched yourself onto Mo’s leg, gazing at her with starlit eyes. “How are you able to do that? What… What even was that?”

“Memories,” Mo said simply. “I can access the memories of other Gems.”

Peridot looked like she might just burst from excitement. “You’re able to process the long-term information storage that centers at the existence of every Gem?”

“Umm… ye-es?”

“Do it to me next! Do it to me?”

As Peridot continued to plead for Mo to use her powers again, Bismuth leaned over the table and said, “See? What did I tell you? She’s pretty amazing?”

Mo tried to push Peridot off of her, bargaining that she would look at Peridot’s memories if she could get a little space. The sensation of reliving some of my favorite memories left me feeling light. Amazing… That doesn’t even begin to describe it. Mo can literally let you relive the best parts of your life as if they were new. In that space, I felt like a kid again. The time that I had sung that song for the Crystal Gems had been so long ago that it had been nothing more than a faint smug in my mind. Now, it stood out so vividly that I doubted it would ever fade again. Back in those moments, nothing had a bigger meaning than what was happening. It had been so simple, so easy. When I was there, I had what I wanted. It was perfect.

Mo really is incredible.

Peridot stood in front of Mo, physically vibrating from anticipation. Mo’s hand had just begun to ghost over her triangular Gem when a light sent the room into contrast. The Warp Pad blared for several seconds before dimming. Pearl and Garnet stood on its surface.

“We’re back~” Pearl sang as she stepped off the pad. “And we have good-”

She stopped abruptly. Pearl’s eyes lingered on Mo, the pale gem having gone still upon their appearance, her hand millimeters from Peridot’s forehead. Her expression was unreadable, but not nearly so as Garnet’s underneath her visor.

“Look who we found,” Bismuth bellowed good-naturedly, rising from the couch while spreading her arms.

“Moissanite,” Pearl whispered, her voice barely audible.

Mo drew her hand back, straightening her back as she kept her gaze on her old teammates. “Pearl. Garnet. You’re really here,” Her voice broke as she started smiling, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. “I never thought-”

Mo never finished. She took one step forward, shattering Pearl’s stagnation. In a flash, she had summoned a spear from her gem and slashed at Mo, forcing to the Gem to scramble backward before she was cut. Wind buffed my face as Garnet launched from the Warp Pad, gauntlets armed, and landed a solid punch to Mo’s midsection, sending her flying and crashing through the wall in a burst of splinters.


	6. Surrounded Seclusion

I couldn’t accept what just happened. In an instant, the whole atmosphere had changed. A breeze stirred a cloud of dust, allowed into the house from the hole punched into the wall. Garnet stood in the spot where Mo had been seconds before, her gauntlet still posed from the strike.

“Mo!” Bismuth cried. She started to move towards the beach, but Garnet was faster, leaping towards the sand in a streak of red and blue.

Pearl let her spear disappear, crouching in front of a shocked Peridot. “Did she touch your Gem?” Slowly, Peridot shook her head. “Did she use any of her powers on you?”

“She… She didn’t do anything to me,” Peridot managed. “Why did you-”

Pearl took off sprinting after Garnet before the green Gem could finish her sentence.

This doesn’t make sense. Bismuth had been so excited to see Mo. What’s happening?

I was running before I could think any further, Bismuth and Amethyst beside me, Lapis and Peridot bringing up the rear. I leaped from the porch, drifting to the ground as Amethyst and Bismuth landed heavily on the sand. Peridot was scrambling down the stairs while Lapis took flight on her water wings.

Garnet had her back to us, her entire form rigid and tense. Pearl stood beside her in a stance I recognized from combat training. As I watched, Pearl pulled her swords from her gem, the kind she uses to train Connie. Mo was picking herself up from the sand, her eyes so wide that her irises were lost in a sea of white.

“Garnet?” Mo’s voice was shaking, lost and fragile from the Gem’s reaction. “What are you doing?”

The normally calm Gem didn’t respond. Instead, she leveled a gauntlet at Mo, the kickback from firing the weapon able to be felt as we closed in, still several meters away.

Mo was moving, evading the rocket as it shot past her and exploded in the ocean. Garnet fired again, this time toward the sand at Mo’s feet. A wave of sand erupted momentarily obscuring Mo. Pearl leaped, her swords flashing in the sun as she swiped at Mo. The pale Gem narrowly avoided each slash, deflecting one using the metal ring on her arm. Pearl pulled back, only to be replaced by Garnet who slammed the back of her restored gauntlet against Mo’s side, sending her tumbling across the beach.

Garnet charged but was stopped short as Bismuth broke ahead of me, catching Garnet’s weapons before she could reach Mo. “What are doing?” Bismuth bellowed, the strain edging into her voice. “Why are you attacking an ally?”

“She’s not our ally, she’s a traitor,” I could barely recognize Garnet’s voice. The calm demeanor and steady flow of her words were swept away by a bark filled to the brim with spite. “She sold us out during the Rebellion!”

Pearl was on the move again, bearing down on Mo with her blades at the ready. On her next step, she dug her foot into the sand and braced her legs, pushing off with sword positioned for a perfect lunge. I reached for the gem in my navel, a moment of warmth filling my core as my shield appeared, hovering over my hand. I hurled the shield, the pink-hued barrier intercepting Pearl’s attack. The force of the impact carried the shield towards Mo, trapping her underneath of it like a bug caught in a jar.

“Steven,” Pearl faced cleared for a moment, the ferocious determination pushed aside by her surprise.

“What are you guys doing?” I was torn between disbelief at my friends' actions and concern for Mo. I can’t understand what’s happening! “What’s going on?”

Garnet freed herself from Bismuth’s hold, her temper seeming to have cooled by a few degrees. “She’s dangerous, Steven.”

“That doesn’t make sense! Mo hasn’t done anything to us since she showed up yesterday!” I argued, my blood pounding in my ears. I couldn’t rein in my emotions. “She’s a good person! Why are you doing this to her?”

“She’s one of our closes allies, Garnet. Mo was part of the Crystal long before you or I. Don’t do this to her,” Bismuth pleaded, still standing between Garnet and the trapped Mo. “I don’t know what’s happening, but I do know that Mo would never have done anything to deserve this. She’s a true Crystal Gem!”

Pearl lowered her blades, glaring at Mo for a long moment before turning her gaze to Bismuth. “It’s not that simple, Bismuth. Things changed.”

“What could have changed!? What would ever have caused you two to react like this!” Bismuth was furious. Pieces of our fight at the Forge came back, the bitterness that Bismuth had held towards my mother finally spilling over. This was almost the same but had underlying desperation to her movements. “Tell me!”

“Moissanite is a traitor,” Garnet snapped bluntly. “She turned us over to Homeworld during the Rebellion.”

Bismuth’s eyes narrowed, and lips pulled back in a snarl. She doesn’t believe that. “Mo would never do something like that.”

Mo wasn’t trying to free herself. Her hands were pressed against the underside of the shield, her forehead against the smooth weapon. The rest of her was pinned to the ground by my shield. Her eyes kept passing between Garnet, Pearl, and Bismuth as the three of them continue to argue.

Pearl returned one of her swords to her gemstones. She laid her now free hand on Bismuth, who flinched at the contact. “It’s true, Bismuth. I wish it wasn’t, but she betrayed us,” Pearl's voice was shaking. I had heard that tone before, tired and defeated. Another memory surfaced, one of Pearl and I standing on a mass of vines and rock floating hundreds of feet in the air. Pearl crying as my mother’s scabbard laid in the grass inches away.

“I don’t believe it,” Bismuth shook her head, her voice cracking. “Mo’s the most loyal Gem I’ve ever seen. She wouldn’t hurt us!”

Garnet’s gauntlets glowed, retreating back into her gemstones. Her visor turned towards Mo, her expression unreadable. She turned back to Bismuth. “But she did.”

Pearl took a deep breath, the air rattling as she inhaled. “It happened shortly after you… disappeared. Mo was to lead a squadron of Crystal Gems to prepare for an ambush against a massive group of Homeworld soldiers. I was with Garnet, waiting to attack, when it happened. We were suddenly surrounded, fighting for our lives as our plans fell apart. When it was over, several of us were… gone. We found some shards, but others completely vanished in the battle. What remained of our squad retreated before reinforcements could arrive. When we made it back to base, Rose was waiting, and she was crying.

“She told us what went wrong. Rose had returned early from a different mission and decided to group up with Mo. When she arrived, Rose couldn’t believe what she saw. Mo’s entire squadron was being pushed back by Homeworld soldiers, many of us already poofed or worse. Rose joined the fight, trying to find Mo. When she did, Mo was fighting with Homeworld, picking off our allies one after another. Mo had been the only one that knew the exact route they would take. She led them into a trap."

“That can’t be… She wouldn’t…” Hands clenched into fists, Bismuth looked past Pearl as if she was trying to see into the past to a fight so long ago. “Mo wouldn’t…”

Pearl was on the verge of tears, but she pushed on, the words choked as they left her mouth. “Rose fought her off, protecting the remaining Crystal Gems from Mo. The tides were beginning to turn in their favor, but Homeworld had been ready. Explosions tore the battlefield to ribbons, decimating everything caught in the blast. Rose was the only one to survive, only thanks to her shield. Many of us were lost that day, beyond Rose’s healing powers. All this time, we thought Mo perished. Apparently, we were wrong.”

The silence that followed her story weighed down on all of us, broken only by the sounds of waves against the sand. That… That can’t be true. Mo had been so friendly last night. She couldn’t have done something like that. She’d been so happy to see Bismuth and we all had so much fun! It was like…

…

Navy…

It was like when Navy had arrived, all fun and eager as she played us. We’d believed her when she said that she wanted to join the Crystal Gems. She strung us along until she could get her ship back, throwing us out after she had her payback.

Is that what Mo was doing? Tricking us?

Trapped underneath the shield, Mo seemed to have aged thousands of years in seconds. Gems are practically immortal, their ageless bodies immune to the effects of time. Mo was like that. She hadn’t changed, physically at least. It was the way her pinned body held itself that had morphed. It was as if the years she had accumulated had been dropped on her shoulders, her body barely resisting sinking into the earth under the weight.

I don’t know.

“I’m sorry, Bismuth,” Pearl said softly. “I want nothing more than for it not to be true, but it is. We can’t trust her.”

Garnet’s hand tapped her visor, the three-pointed screen vanishing in a small flash. She met Bismuth’s sinking face with her three eyes, each one as pained as Pearl’s and Bismuth’s. “She tried to destroy us, Bismuth. Our allies… our friends… so many of them are gone because of her. Moissanite is dangerous. We have to do this.”

Bismuth didn’t reply. She couldn’t. I could the strain on her face, wanting so much to say that they were lying or it was a mistake. But she couldn’t. Pearl and Garnet would never lie to her. Bismuth looked over at Mo, the trapped Gem’s body hunching over further at the look Bismuth was giving her. The hardy Gem stepped aside, more broken than I had ever seen her. Tears ran down her cheeks.

Pearl covered her mouth with her hands, turning away as Bismuth cried. Garnet’s visor returned, hiding the hurt exposed by her eyes. She started to raise her hand, one of her gems glowing.

A horrible screech ripped apart the tense silence like lashing talons. I turned to the source. Smoke was pooling around Mo’s hands, pressing against my shield. Gray veins seeped from her palms, eating away at the soft pink hue. As I watched, the shield glitched, losing its shape, before shattering in a burst of sparks. Mo sprinted towards Garnet, the smoke billowing off her body like a cloak.

Garnet tried to push her back, but Mo pivoted on her foot with impossible mobility. She rammed her shoulder against Garnet, knocking the Gem off balance. At the same moment, she clasped Garnet’s right hand, smoke swirling around their forms.

Garnet’s shock lasted only moments. She tightened her grip on Mo’s hand, throwing her shoulder back and flinging her arm up, launching Mo high into the air. Something wrapped around Mo’s midsection. I barely realized that the thing was Amethyst’s whip before the purple Gem turned and pulled. Mo’s body streaked through the sky, slamming into the side of the cliff hard enough to fracture the rock. Mo landed on the sand in a heap, the whip still secured tightly around her middle.

“Amethyst, recall your whip!” Garnet called urgently.

“What?” Amethyst called back. “But I’ve got her!”

“Now!” Garnet returned, already charging over to us.

It was too late. Smoke rose from Mo’s body like a fire without heat. Where the whip touched her form, veins of gray began to spread across the weapon. They shot down the entire length of Amethyst’s weapon with blinding speed, stripping away the color. Once it reached the handle, the whip glitched frantically before dissipating. Amethyst stared at the empty air where her weapon had been, fingers twitching at its absence

A high whirl rang across the beach over the sounds of shifting sand and waves. Pearl’s was holding her spear with both hands, the point aimed directly at Mo. A ball of energy was building at the tip before she fired, the enormous shot flying true. Mo vanished behind the blast, the impact sending up a huge cloud of dust and pebbles.

“I think you got her!” Amethyst called as we all stared. Pearl and Garnet made their way over so that all four of us were grouped together. Their weapons were still out.

“We’re not done,” Garnet said.

As the dust began to clear, a color that shouldn’t be their stood out against the cloud. That’s… impossible. She can’t have that! It’s mine! No other Gem has a weapon like that!

But I couldn’t deny what I was seeing. Protecting Mo, hovering in the air, was my shield. The warm pink fell away into pieces of light, but I couldn’t unsee it. How did she get my shield?

When she looked up, those thoughts were driven out of my head. The sight of Mo sent a pang of sadness deep into my core. Her face was twisted into a visage of pain, the kind so immense that it felt like I would drown merely from looking at it. She drew her arms around her, hugging herself as she shook. Tears fell freely from her eyes, but she didn’t make a sound.

She’s broken. Watching her was torturous. It was if she was holding herself together against unimaginable hurt, and the slightest slip would make her collapse. I couldn’t help but feel myself ache for her.

The sun dimmed, a shadow spreading across the beach. Something cold dripped onto my head and shoulders. Looking up, I found out why. A massive wave hung suspended over the beach, looming unnaturally. Lapis hovered over it, her arms spread wide, ready to drop the wall of water onto Mo.

I tried to shout, instinctively trying to protect someone who was hurting. The sound hadn’t left my mouth before a mournful howl pounded against my ears. The sound leaving Mo was awful, filled with her pain and grief. The smoke around her swelled before bursting, covering the beach like mist. I was lost. Flashes of shapes and colors appeared and disappeared too quickly, leaving streaks dancing against my eyelids. I wanted to run! I wanted to hide! I wanted everything to just disappear before it all came crashing down on top of me! I wanted it all to just stop hurting! Why won’t it stop? Why won’t they find me? Why is this happening? Why can’t I just do this right?

The maddening thoughts and raging emotions left as quickly as they had appeared. Lapis had somehow landed back on the beach, kneeling like her legs couldn’t support her weight anymore. The wave had spilled back into the ocean, the water soaking our feet before drawing back.

The smoke was gone, and Mo along with it. We didn’t have to wonder where she went for long. A bright light flooded through the windows of my house. She’s using the Warp Pad. We all tore across the beach and bursting into the house as the last of the light was fading. I reached the Warp right before it deactivated, reopening the path that Mo had just taken. I soared up, the others appearing below me moments apart.

When we all touched down, I let out a gasp. We were surrounded by a collage of houses and buildings of various forms of architecture. Replicas of national landmarks intermingled with houses and foreign structures. They were all made of the same material, the clashing shapes pulled together so that they had a bizarre harmony. We were in New Homeworld.

The scene was motionless havoc. Mo stood a short way off from the Warp Pad. Surrounding her were the occupants of New Homeworld, keeping their distance from the erratic Gem that of a large circle separate her from them. Recognition was clear on so many of their faces, mingling with fear, rage, and disbelief. They know Mo, and they aren’t happy to see her.

Mo’s hair was wild, the normally limp mass now sticking out at odd angles. She stumbled towards Watermelon, who retreated several steps to avoid her. Mo reached out to Biggs and Ocean next, each of the large Jaspers drawing themselves up to protect themselves. Her gaze drifted down to the Beetles, the pair inhaling sharply when she saw them. She stumbled backward, Tiger’s Eye and Larimar quickly moving aside even though she was still several feet away. Mo turned in a circle, staring out at the crowd of Gems, her former allies. Each one pulled away, too scared to go near her.

Mo went still. I could hear her breathing, the outtake of breath shallow and quivering. Garnet started to move towards her, but I placed my hand on her arm. She looked down at me.

“Please, let me try,” I pleaded.

Garnet was hesitant, but one more look at Mo seemed to make up her mind. “Alright, but be careful.”

I nodded, stepping off the Warp Pad. When they saw me approach, the Gems parted to let me pass. As I neared Mo, I felt the coils of smoke emanating from her form. Their comfort was gone, replaced with a tingling sensation that left my hair on end. When I was next to her, I hesitated. Doubt was worming its way into my head. I forced it aside as I placed a hand on her shoulder. Mo tensed but didn’t pull away. Her gemstone was smooth underneath my palm, not a single imperfection on its surface.

“Mo,” I started, my voice coming out weak. I cleared my throat and made my voice a little louder. “Mo, please stop this.”

“They’re scared of me,” Mo stated blankly, referring to the Gems around us.

I decided to go along with her train of thought, thinking it may calm her down. “Yeah, they are.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“No,” She whispered, shaking her head. “It can’t because of that.”

“Mo, what you did… It was horrible.”

“But I didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?”

“I didn’t do it. I wouldn’t hurt any of them.”

I shook my own head, wanting to help even though she won’t let me in. “Please, Mo. Don’t do this.”

“I did everything for them,” She wrapped her arms around herself again, holding herself together. “My whole life was for them. I would give them anything.”

The smoke hung heavy around her. I could feel something through it, bottomless, trying to draw me in. “Let this end, Mo. No one else has to get hurt.”

“You don’t believe me, do you?”

“Mo, I-”

“Yeah, I thought so,” The next thing was so unexpected that I didn’t know how to react: Mo started laughing. The sound was miserable, born from grief instead of joy. “I wouldn’t believe me, either.”

“Mo-”

“I wanted this. I wanted it so badly.”

“What did you want?” I asked her gently.

Mo smiled at me, humorless and sad. “What you’re so lucky to have. I’ve tried. I tried so hard. I guess it’s just not possible. At least I was close.”

The smoke’s abyss was growing, gnawing away everything that seems to make sense. “Please, Mo. Let me help.”

She sighed heavily. “If only you could. Thanks for trying, if only for a moment. I appreciate it.”

Mo pulled away so fast that I couldn’t keep my grip on her. She reached for her gemstone, the jewel shining brightly. She pulled out a handle that materialized, a gem-studded whip trailing along. Mo spun, lashing out with effortless precision. The sea of Gems parted to avoid being struck. Mo ran through the opening created by them, straight at the occupied Warp Pad. Garnet lunged, already winding up her punch. Mo thrust out her hand, my shield appearing in the space between them. Garnet’s gauntlet struck the shield, a shockwave rippling out. Mo shoved my stolen weapon, pushing Garnet back with the barrier. Pearl was moving in to assist, but Mo hurled another shield at her, making her leap aside to evade the disc.

With a practiced movement, Mo went right from her throw to grabbing another whip from her gemstone. Purple flames alight along the length of the weapon. She lashed out at my friends that had just begun to move in. The stolen whip struck the ground in front of them, causing an explosion that knocked them off their feet. Mo leap past them and onto the Warp Pad. She raised her hands over her hand, smoke swirling around them as gray vortexes. As the Warp Pad activated, Mo slammed her fists against the device. A brilliant flash erupted from the point of impact, momentarily blinding me.

When I could see again, the Warp Pad was empty. I hurriedly jumped on, trying to open a channel to follow her. The Warp Pad didn’t respond. Traces of smoke clung its surface, turning patches of the Warp Pad gray.

Mo had escaped and we had no idea where she went.


	7. Tension

The events of the day had started off so slowly, the calm before the storm. Before I knew it, we had been caught in a squall, tossed about on waves without any land in sight. As quickly as the storm had borne down on us, it passed, leaving behind damage that we were struggling to fix.

Now, we sat in the wake of the destruction, our ship being the living room of my house. I was sitting on the couch, watching as fragile silence wrapped around my friends. Bismuth was beside me, her body bent forward so that her rainbow locks hid her face from view. Pearl sat on a stool by the counter, fumbling with a cup of tea with no incentive to drink it, the liquid long since lost its heat. Garnet was leaning against the temple door with her arms crossed, staring at the floor as if she could see through the miles of stone to the void of space beyond. Lapis and Peridot sat next to each other by the window, observing and silent. Amethyst was the only one moving as she paced the length of the room, somewhere between thought and just needing to be in motion.

It was a silent battle, one that would rage the moment one of us conceded by speaking. I feel like it should be me. I’m the one that’s supposed to bring us together and keep our hopes up. And yet, I can’t seem to say anything. Whenever I tried to gather my voice, I would remember Mo’s face, the sound of her broken voice. What am I supposed to say? I don’t even know what I’m supposed to think! This is all so messed up! Mo’s supposed to be this horrible criminal that tried to get all of my friends, her allies, shattered in the Rebellion. It’s just… I can’t imagine that. It could all be an act, but it felt so real! How am I supposed to make sense out of all of this? I want to help, but I don’t know how I can. Should I speak against Mo, deeming her a criminal like the others say she is? Should I try to stand up for her and the doubts that keep gnawing at me? Maybe I should just stay out of it, but that doesn’t feel right either! Why can’t I figure this out?

Just as it seemed that I would lose my head, that gossamer silence snapped.

“She didn’t do it,” Bismuth said, barely louder than a whisper, but we could all hear it. Bismuth looked up, her eyes staring straight ahead as if she was seeing something that wasn’t there. “Mo wouldn’t do something like that. Not her.”

Pearl sighed, her shoulder slumping underneath her blazer. She kept her eyes on the cup in her hands. “Bismuth, please don’t start this.”

“There’s nothing to start. She didn’t betray us.” The edge was returning to her voice as her temper started to rise. She was now fixated on the star on Pearl’s back. “You can’t honestly believe that Moissanite, our Mo, would do anything to harm another Crystal Gem. She did everything she could to make sure we survived! We would be shattered hundreds of times over if she hadn’t been on our side!”

“And hundreds of us would still be here if it wasn’t for her!” Pearl’s exhausted, calm demeanor evaporated as she rose from her seat, pushing the cup away as she turned to face Bismuth. “We lost so many of us because she decided to abandon us! It took us days to pick up their shards!”

Bismuth shook her head, her hair flapping wildly. “There has to be a mistake! Mo would shatter herself before harming an ally!”

“You weren’t there, Bismuth! You can’t say what happened since didn’t see it!” Pearl was shouting now, a state I had rarely seen and hoped I wouldn’t have to see again.

“And neither were you!” Bismuth rage seemed to rattle the house as she stomped her foot. With her hair and physique, it was hard not to see her like a lion that was defending its pack. “All you have is what you were told!”

“We were told the truth!”

“You can’t say it was the truth if Rose is the one who told you in the first place!”

Bismuth might as well as struck Pearl. I felt the recoil of the effect her words had on Pearl, who, despite all this time, I knew still held Rose in a special place in her heart. “Rose wouldn’t make something like that up! It broke her to see what Mo did! She wouldn’t-”

“Rose locked me away in a BUBBLE for thousands of years!” Bismuth bellowed. “She abandoned the Gem that wanted nothing more than to be her friend on a hunk of rock! She faked her death because she didn’t get what she wanted and got all of our friends Corrupted! She lied to all of us, the Diamonds, Spinel, everyone! DON’T TELL ME WHAT ROSE WOULDN’T DO!”

It was if a puppet’s string had been cut loose. Pearl fell back on her stool as if she had been pushed. Tears threatened to fall, but she held them back as she kept her gaze locked on Bismuth. “Rose-”

“ENOUGH!”

Garnet’s command was enough to silence the arguing pair. It was so rare to hear her raise her voice like that we all responded immediately. She broke away from her space against the door. Garnet stepped over the Warp Pad and stood where the kitchen floor abruptly ended at the Temple’s stone. “No matter what Rose said or did, Moissanite is a danger to all of us. She has to be dealt with as soon as possible.”

“Of course you would say that,” Bismuth snarled. “You always hated Mo! All because of one power she has!”

If a stranger had been watching this scene, they might have believed that Garnet had kept her cool, forever being that composed pillar amongst the team of extremes. I knew better. I saw the way her fists clenched. I could practically feel her barely leashed anger trying to burn through her visor. “This has nothing to do with that.” Garnet forced through her teeth.

Bismuth scoffed, which sounded more like an agitated grunt. “There’s something new. Whenever you had a problem with Mo during the Rebellion you always avoided her. You couldn’t stand to be around her!”

“That’s enough Bismuth!” Garnet snapped, all attempts of composure thrown out. “You’re bringing up past problems that have nothing to do with this!”

“Don’t act like you’re above it! No matter how many times she swore not to use that power, the times she put herself in harm’s way when that power could have saved her, you still treated her like she was something that had to be monitored! As if one day she would break all her promises and attack you!” Angry tears were pooling in Bismuth’s eyes. She slammed her fist on the table, the legs almost buckling from the impact. “When she found me, Mo hated herself because she only survived by using her own power! That’s because of you! You made her feel like she was horrible!”

“I never did that!” Garnet roared back. “Moissanite was never harmless! She was too enthralled in battle! The way she fought, the way she acted, that’s why she was dangerous! I knew something would happen if we didn’t watch her!”

Bismuth laughed. It was born of anger and bitterness. It was awful. “You can’t say anything about her! You don’t know what she would do! Maybe that’s why you hated her! Because you couldn’t see her!”

“Don’t talk to Garnet like that!” Pearl shouted. “You’re taking things too far, Bismuth!”

“I’m taking things too far? Do you not even know how you treated her all those years? You were all-”

Their voices continued to lash back and forth, raging animals snapping at the other until one would remain or they destroyed themselves. I want to stop them. I want to say the right thing that will smooth all of this over. I want to be the peacekeeper that they need me to be! But I can’t. It felt like my chest was being ripped open as I watched them fight, but there’s nothing I can do. I don’t have the words. I can’t find a song. I’m as powerless as when I was a kid, up against a force that overwhelmed me.

A hand grabbed my wrist, pulling me along past a distracted Garnet to the Warp Pad. We were gone, our exit going unnoticed except by Peridot and Lapis. When we arrived, Amethyst let go of my arm. I turned in a circle, taking in a gloom of the Kindergarten. No powers or magic could fix the damage that was done to this place. The life had been completely drained out of it during the early stages of Earth’s colonization. Even the sky seemed to have been tapped, the constant presence of clouds blocking the sun. Hundreds upon hundreds of holes dotted the cliff sides, interspersed with the long still bodies of Injectors. No matter how many times I saw this place, I still feel the pang of sadness that sunk in my stomach.

Amethyst leaped from the Warp Pad onto the ground several yards below. I jumped after her, slowing my descent to land softly. With my emotions in flux, the landing was rougher than expected, making me stumble. Amethyst kept walking, leading us deeper into the Kindergarten than I had ever gone before. We walked past the hole in the ground that leads to the control room. Our surroundings began to shift, becoming completely unfamiliar.

“Amethyst, where are we going?” I asked kindly, trying not to push.

Amethyst came to an abrupt halt. Her head turned this way and that before she dropped to the ground. “Sorry, Steven. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Oh, okay. So, um, anything you want to talk about?”

“I just thought we should get out of there,” She shrugged. “It didn’t look like things were going all that well.”

“Maybe we should go back. I think I can sort all this-” I had started to walk back when Amethyst pulled me down beside her.

“Remember, Steven. You can’t fix everyone’s problems.”

Right. She’s right. I’m doing it again. “I know. It’s just… I should be able to help them. That’s what I’m supposed to do.”

“You can only do what you can,” Amethyst replied, kicking a pebble away. “Forcing it may be worse. Just let them go at it for now.”

“I hate that idea.”

“I know. I do, too.”

We sat for a while, watching the unchanging terrain of the Kindergarten. The stillness was almost soothing. Far away from the shouts, the Kindergartens seemed to steal away any thoughts that grew too loud. There were no bird calls. There was no wind. There was nothing to alter the stagnant view of the Kindergarten. It was sort of peaceful, eerie but still calming. 

“What do you think about Mo?” Amethyst asked after we had sat for what seemed like an eternity.

I let myself fall, my back hitting the ground as the murky sky filled my view. “I don’t know. I want to say that I believe Garnet and Pearl, but Bismuth is so sure that she didn’t hurt anyone. And… the only reason anyone knows about Mo’s betrayal is because of…”

“Rose,” Amethyst mercifully finished. She drew her legs to her chest, hiding her chin behind her knees.

“Yeah, mom.” When mom was involved, things got… complicated. When I was younger, she was perfect. Everyone talked about her like she could do no wrong, a paragon of virtue and love. Rose was the fearless leader, the bringer of freedom, the force that would drive back eons of dictators’ rule. I believed that with all my heart. My mom was perfect, if not a little odd. I wanted to be just like her.

The first time I thought that image was wrong was around the same time I met Bismuth. It hadn’t seemed possible that mom would lock away one of her closest friends for thousands of years, not saying anything to the ones that thought Bismuth was beyond hope. I tried to understand. I convinced myself mom had bubbled Bismuth because she was dangerous with her obsessive ambition. I mean, Bismuth wanted to outright shatter someone! Why wouldn’t mom be afraid? I told myself she did what she could in that situation. That she was still good despite her horrible choice. For a time, that forced image held against the tide. And then it shattered when Eyeball told me about Pink Diamond’s death. Mom had shattered her… she had killed Pink Diamond. How could she do something like that? How could she take someone’s life and then punish Bismuth for trying to do the same thing? I was confused; I couldn’t be mad at her but that flawless image was beyond destroyed. No matter how much Garnet tried to reassure me that Rose only did what she thought was best, I couldn’t think of mom the same way ever again.

During the trial on Homeworld, I had the briefest hope that maybe the stories were wrong, that mom hadn’t actually shattered Pink Diamond. I clung to that hope only to have it ripped away again. In the end, mom had never shattered anyone. She became someone else, casting aside her title as a Diamond and fully embodying the rebel Rose Quartz. Mom chose her family, causing the other Diamonds so much pain that they were permanently damaged. That choice, that reckless decision to throw away her life, lead to three grieving Diamonds avenging a death that never happened, unleashing a plague across the world that would leave Rose’s allies and enemies alike suffering for thousands of years. Because of mom, all those Gems were Corrupted after fighting a war against herself.

It must have been horrible. Mom had to poof her allies that were too far gone, her healing powers unable to cure an illness caused by three Diamonds. Maybe… maybe she had to confront her demons every day as they tracked the Gem Monsters and bubbled them, sealing them away to prevent them from suffering. After all of that, she must have learned the error of her ways. She had to see what her choices did to people. Or, as I had recently come to learn, maybe mom was simply beyond help. After all, she had thrown away people when she grew tired of them. Spinel had been a victim none of us had known about, cursed to her fate because she wanted to make mom smile. Mom had broken a Gem that was filled with joy by leaving and making her unable to progress. She stripped away Spinel’s future for eons on a whim, never looking back afterward. Sometimes, when my mind drifted to darker places, I think that mom gave up her form for me just because she couldn’t bear any more mistakes. I know that’s too much, that even my mom wasn’t that heartless. Still, sometimes the thought clings to me, unable to let me forget.

“Is it bad that I want to believe that she told the truth?” She mumbled into her knee, keeping her eyes forward. “Even though it means Mo lead to hundreds of Gems being shattered, some part of me wants Rose to have told the truth. Just this one thing, just to see if she could.”

“I know what you mean. Sometimes, it feels like everything we’ve fought for was just a lie that she cooked up.”

Amethyst released a sigh, sounding more exhausted than I had heard in years. “It really sucks.”

“Yeah, it does.”

We didn’t go back to the Temple. Every few hours, one of us would warp back to check-in. Without fail, we returned to the Pearl and Garnet still locked in an argument with Bismuth, their distress unchanged. At some point, Peridot and Lapis had disappeared. I don’t think the three of them even noticed that we had left. Amethyst and I wander aimlessly through the depths of the Kindergarten. After passing rocks faces with the same pattern of holes for miles, I was hopelessly lost. Amethyst never was, her footsteps tracing some invisible trail that carried her without hesitation. She pointed out some landmarks and some of her favorite spots occasionally, but mostly we just talked to each other. The topics kept changing, sometimes about random things like cartoons or mundane events. At other points, we passed the discussion of Rose and Mo between us, trying to unravel a puzzle that neither of us had enough pieces to complete. We slept and chatted, what may have been almost two days passing by behind the Kindergarten’s frozen sky. I had snuck back into the Temple to use the bathroom and grab food, the argument still raging as it shifted between different stages of intensity. Thousands of years' worth of doubt and strain had bubbled to the surface, and it wasn’t letting up any time soon.

I checked my phone, noting that night was creeping closer. I looked up, but the clouds yielded no information. I tried to relay this information to Amethyst, but she cut me off, freezing as her body tensed. “Did you see that?” She asked over her shoulder.

I followed her eyes to an empty space of rock. “I don’t see anything,” I replied.

The moment the words left my mouth they were rendered false. A figure stepped through the spot, phasing out of the stone as if it didn’t exist. The lime green person kept walking, staring at a holographic screen that hovered in front of her face. She typed on the screen a few times without breaking her stride. A semicircle of hay-colored hair framed her head, the cut off perfectly level with her chin. Amethyst tried to jump in front of her, but the mysterious person didn’t react. Then, she stepped through Amethyst as she had with the stone. That’s when I noticed her gem, an olive green jewel on her lower back.

“She a Peridot!” I gasped as I connected the dots.

“Great, another Peri,” Amethyst mumbled. “What are we going to call this one? Halfdot? Pericle?”

“Semidot,” I said instantly. “We’re calling her Semidot.”

Amethyst shrugged, her care-free smile returning after hiding away when the argument started. “Whatever you say, man.”

Semidot continued to ignore us, walking away without sparing us a glance. We had to jog to keep up, her stride brisk and hurried. Another look at our surroundings made more questions pop into my head. What’s a Peridot doing in the Kindergarten? Why is she in such a hurry? What does she want? Semitdot only picked up speed, almost breaking into a run as a nearly illegible line of symbols flashed by on her screen. There were a few times where Semitdot vanished inside another mass of stone or phased through a collapsed section. Amethyst managed to find her again thanks to her knowledge of the Kindergarten’s layout, but I had to float in the air a couple of times when the olive Gem’s path became erratic.

When we found her again, Semidot had started speaking. Her eyes never left her screen, which had a panel with a line that crackled with the tone of her voice. She’s recording. “Status Update: the bizarre phenomena affecting the Sigma Kindergarten have progressed. An adequate specimen has yet to emerge. Estimated outcomes with positive results have diminished. Current Suggestion: terminate the expansion of Kindergartens on this planet immediately and re-evaluate the incubating conditions. Stand by for another update.” Semidot ended the recording with a flick of her fingers, somehow continuing to accelerate.

Amethyst and I glanced at each other, both of us equally confused. “Do you know what’s she’s talking about?” I asked Amethyst.

“How am I supposed to know? Just keep following her!” Amethyst returned. We kept our eyes on Semidot as she turned a corner, overlapping with the corner momentarily. When we made the turn, both of us stopped cold.

The route had opened into a round opening, free of rubble and few Injectors insight. The space was massive, large enough to accommodate the Temple and have room leftover. And that space was filled with Gems.


	8. Reminisce (i)

The faded purple and gray of the Kindergarten were drowned out by the myriad of colors that assaulted my vision. Gems with dozens of different hues of blue, green, and red tried to sort themselves into groups while being herded by several Peridots. Just like Semidot, some of these Gems seemed to be matterless as parts of their bodies vanished into the stone without them even seeming to notice. The dazzling colors and overlapping limbs weren’t what made me stare. It was the variety of the Gems assembled that made me stop. Not a single Gem was like another, but each of them bore the symbol of a Diamond. The normal, standard-issued Homeworld Gem forms had been discarded. Some bodies were massive, others were tiny. Some of them had long, gangly limbs while others had stout figures. Some had wild tangles of hair, some had braided buns, and many more had styles that I’d never seen before. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the scene playing out in front of me, my brain refusing to believe what I was seeing.

Semidot approached another Peridot who seemed to be directing the ones trying to organize the mismatched Gems. This new Peridot had a large bush of hair trimmed to form eight perfectly measured sides.

“Let me guess, that’s Octidot?’ Amethyst whispered, somehow managing to speak as we watched the scene unfold

Semidot tapped Octidot on the shoulder. Octidot spun, momentarily ceasing her rapid-fire of orders aimed at the remaining Peridots. A triangular gem was embedded in her cheek. “What’s your report?”

Semidot pushed her screen over to Octidot, who read over the hologram with a souring expression. “All defective!” She roared, tossing the screen aside, the projection blinking twice before it vanished. “How is this possible? An entire Kindergarten, planned to aching perfection, producing nothing but Off-Colors? Who’s going to answer me?”

The other Peridots shot worried looks at the fuming Gem, redoubling their efforts to corral the sea of Gems. Because they don’t know what type of Gem they are, I realized. If what Octidot said is true and all these Gems are Off-Colors, then they don’t match the normal description of their Gems.

A fresh wave of terror crashed over me. Were these Peridots using the Kindergarten to create more Gems? Are they sucking the life out of the planet to build some sort of army?

Before I could voice my suspicions to Amethyst, the entire scene flickered. It was brief; I barely caught it as I blinked. The Gems in the clearing glitched like a faulty television screen, the static lasting less than a second, before returning as if nothing had happened. Before I could think anymore on that, a cliff on the opposite end of the clearing began to shift. The mass of rock became steeper and narrower, bunching itself together like a spring. The emerging holes rearranged themselves slightly, still in that immaculate layout but altered to fit the dimensions of the cliff. All of the holes were of different shapes and sizes, but a large patch of in the middle of the holes remained bare.

No one noticed the glitch in reality or the instant terraforming. The Peridots continued their jobs while Octidot continued to yell at Semidot, who was unfortunate enough to have been the closest to the angry Gem. “Who was responsible for gauging the soil samples? No, choosing the location of the Sigma Kindergarten? No, the Injectors!” Octidot seemed to have found a base for her fury, that wild gleam in her eye like a bird locked onto prey. “Which Peridot was responsible for transporting the Injectors?”

Semidot seemed to shrink in on herself, trying to disappear as the other Gem fumed. “Th-that was m-me.”

Octidot paused, her agitated arm-waving ceasing. She turned her head slowly to Semidot, approaching with barely contained rage. I don’t know what’s happening, but it seems like these Gems are just projections. Even so, Octidot's mood seeped through into the present, making me recoil inwardly. “What kind of moronic placement schematic did you order that would result in this many deficiencies?”

Semidot took half a step back, her stature seeming tiny even though Octidot was the same height as her. “I-I’m sorry. I-I have no idea w-what’s causing all of th-this.”

Octidot bared her teeth as she shoved Semidot. “You’re sorry? You have no idea what you’ve done! You shirked your duty and allowed one of the Injectors to become damaged! You didn’t mark the damage in a report before the Injectors planted samples! You may have just squandered an entire Kindergarten, and you’re sorry? Thanks to you, we’re all likely to be shattered!” Octidot brushed past Semidot, grasping at her hair. “White doesn’t take incidents like this lightly! The last time one of her Kindergartens produced an Off-Color, she punished every Gem within the vicinity! Imagine what she’ll do when our Diamond sees this!” Octidot gestured to the mass of Gems that failed to meet Homeworld's rigid standards. “The full wrath of White Diamond will fall on us! We’ll be-”

Octidot cut herself off, her eyes going wide as she stumbled. Semidot, cowering from Octidot’s descriptions, struggled to stay on her feet. Around them, each of the swarming Gems held onto each other or trying to grab the stone to keep themselves from falling, their limbs phasing into the rock. Was that… an earthquake? I didn’t feel anything, but the Gems acted as if the ground had shifted under their feet.

A flare caught my attention, tearing my eyes away from the crowd. On the far cliff, the one that had shifted on its own, light poured out of the stone. That bare spot was suddenly alight, the gathered Gems staring as they struggled to stand upright. The flare grew brighter, becoming a nova moments before the stone exploded. A cloud of dust and debris shot from the source, drifting down onto the heads of the masses. The spot where the explosion had occurred had altered, leaving behind a hole unlike the others. Even from here, I could tell that the sides were sleek and shiny, and tiny white stones outlined the hole perfectly. A hand emerged from the hole, grasping the edge as its owner dragged themselves into the light.

I gasped, Amethyst making some kind of yelp beside me. The figure’s outfit was nothing like I knew her to wear. It was a bodysuit identical to the other Homeworld Gems, lacking any other colors besides black, minus the White Diamonded insignia on her collar. Smoke poured from the hole like a waterfall of vapors. She stared down at the assembled Gems, her face as blank as a slab of ivory.

Mo had just emerged, and this is the first thing she ever saw. 

The figures unspooled into wisps of smoke, hundreds of Gems swirling into clouds as they reshaped. When they settled, the crowd had disappeared and Mo was standing on the ground. Octidot and Semidot were with her, the former Gem pacing aggressively as Semidot stood stock still. Semidot was relaying information to Octidot. When she finished, Octidot whirled on her in an olive frenzy.

“What do you mean there weren’t any matches?”

Semidot quivered at the Octidot’s bark, too stunned to speak. Octidot turned away from her, approaching Mo with heavy stomps. “This doesn’t just happen! There has to be some kind of record about… THIS!” She took Mo by the shoulders, pulling her face so close that Mo’s pale complexion was reflected in the triangular Gem in Octidot’s cheek. “What in the stars are you?”

Recognition crashed in like a tidal wave. I’d seen this all before, only from a different perspective. Right now, I’m a bystander. Back then, back in that bizarre dream, I was seeing through someone else’s eyes. Mo’s eyes. I had seen her memories! And now, I’m about to watch the rest of the scene play out.

Mo just stared at Octidot, her face completely neutral. Octidot pushed her away, fiddling with a ring clamped around her wrist. A screen appeared in the air. Octidot snatched it and started tapping on the projection. When a bright red square popped up, she threw the screen on the ground, the projection dispersing. “There’s nothing! Not a single record of a Gem with her schematics! This Kindergarten was built for Quartz soldiers! You aren’t a Quartz! You shouldn’t exist!” She spat at Mo, who just tilted her head to one side. Octidot grunted and kicked at a pebble. “Now I have to deal with this mistake!”

“What mistake?”

Octidot froze. Semitdot seemed like she might poof on the spot. Mo didn’t react to the voice, only shifting her empty gaze to its source. I heard the sound of feet against stone, amplified tenfold. The smoke surged, racing up the surrounding cliffs. When it pulled back, the stone had been reshaped, passages sealed off and new ones appearing in their place. The entire terrain had changed in seconds, but the three of them didn’t seem to notice. The smoke settled on the ground, covering the frozen Gems’ legs within a shifting shroud. A new figure appeared from one of the newly formed passages, her form towering over the others and level with the cliffs on her sides. A coat with oversized shoulder pads filled my vision. I had to turn my entire head to see her whole form: crisp gloves, a bodysuit, a helmet-like hairstyle, and those high-heeled boots that should be almost impossible to walk in, much less run like I knew she’s capable of doing. All of those were similar shades of the same color that differed slightly.

Yellow.

So many thoughts raced through my head as Yellow Diamond covered the space separating her from the trio in three steps. She stared down at them as if they were mere insects that had managed to catch her eye. Octidot swiftly formed the Diamond salute, Semidot hastily copying her. Yellow made a disinterested sound in her throat. When her eyes swept over Mo, she leaned down, her shadow blanketing the three of them.

“What. Is. That?” Yellow drew out, her voice was tense as she enunciated each word.

Octidot, despite her terrible attitude, made an admirable show of gathering her courage and finding the nerve to reply. “That’s is what we are trying to ascertain, My Diamond.”

Yellow’s eyes narrowed as she stared at Mo. The smaller Gem didn’t look away with her expressionless gaze, seemingly unaware of the situation she’s in. “What happened here?”

Octidot swallowed but kept her steel. “One of the Injectors was damaged during transport. This Gem was formed using a sample of said Injector. We believe that is the main variant and possibly the source of the rest of the Off-Colors.”

“The rest?” Yellow’s mulled. Her voice sounded underwhelmed, but I know what she’s capable of unleashing with one a wave of her hand. “How many Off-Colors were created in this Kindergarten?”

Octidot realized her mistake. Had she not expected Yellow Diamond to find out, or is her appearance a complete surprise? Given the strict structure that Homeworld used to have, I had assumed that Yellow was expected. If her arrival was random, then I’m truly clueless. “Well, you see, My Diamond, that’s complicated-”

“Get on with it, Peridot.” Yellow’s patience was waning quickly.

Octidot was trapped, her fear about to be ripped open and exposed before the Diamond. “All of them, your Radiance.”

Yellow straightened, once more returning to her staggering height. “I see. So one of our colonies, one of White Diamonds colonies, has bared nothing but Off-Colors. And not only that, but an Injector carrying essence extracted from White Diamond herself was used despite sustaining damage.”

“That’s correct, My Diamond.”

Yellow raised her hand, her aura surging from her glove like a bolt of lightning. The energy surged, racing across the sky and shocking Semidot. Yellow circuits surged across her body until she poofed, her Gem landing with an ear-shattering clank against the stone, lost amongst the cloud of smoke.

Octidot stared at the spot her subordinate had been standing seconds ago. Her angry bravado had vanished, fear etched into every line of her face.

“I’ve never seen such incompetence in all of my existence!” Yellow’s voice barely raised, but it sounded like she had been attached to an amplifier. It’s that controlled anger she uses, keeping her emotions in check even while she’s furious. “You’ve managed to squander the most important resource at our disposal, creating a batch of useless Gems in the process! The efforts and time placed into this Kindergarten have gone to waste! You will scrounge up every scrap and prevent this damage from spreading any further!”

Octidot bowed deeply, her arms never disentangling from her salute. “Immediately, My Diamond! What shall I do about… them?”

Yellow’s eyes seemed to glow as another pulse of aura coursed over her body. “This is a mistake. Destroy it!” Yellow’s hand shot out again, a beam of aura crashing into Mo.y

Mo’s back arched, her limbs going rigid as circuits sprouted on her body as well. The smoke swelled, momentarily washing over the lower half of my body. It was all I could do to keep from screaming.

Amethyst doubled over, clutching at her gemstone. I pressed against my naval, trying to stop the horrible feeling that was radiating from my gem. It felt like I was being pulled apart, my body trying to tear itself to pieces. I was scattering, the very fiber of my being coming apart at the seams! I was falling apart!

When the sensation became unbearable, Mo screamed. It was the first thing I heard from her mouth since she emerged. The sound was so mangled that I couldn’t tell if it was from the pain or the fear or something else, each sensation being thrown onto us alongside Mo. The smoke withdrew, taking the unraveling with it. My body came crashing back together. The smoke swirled around Mo as her shriek grew louder. Her gemstone glowed and the smoke leaped. More fumes poured my Mo’s body and cloaked her. It shouldn’t be possible, but the spreading of the circuits ceased. Mo gritted her teeth as she brought her hands to her chest. The smoke surrounding her whipped into a funnel, pressing against the discharge tearing at Mo’s form.

Mo’s repealing Yellow attack!

Yellow gasped, a sound so rare from her that it may have been thousands of years since she was taken off guard. “What is this?”

Mo threw her arms out in front of herself, the smoke responding in turn by spinning even faster and wider. In a burst of wisps and sparks, the electricity fizzled out as the smoke funnel unwound. Mo fell to her knees, her hair ragged and her arms trembling. She drew her hands to her shoulders, the smoke mimicking her action by wrapping itself around her in a massive funnel cloud. It spun faster and faster, dissolving into a blur that made me dizzy just watching. The smoke started to glow, distorting the shadows of the Kindergarten. The cloud erupted, a massive plume charging straight at Yellow. It struck, the impact was so intense that the entire scene rippled. Yellow was forced to take a step back, her heel gouging a groove into the ground. The cloud wrapped itself around Yellow until she was encased inside a quivering cacoon.

Mo was panting, the effort of using so much of her power bringing tears to her eyes. The circuits still lingered on her skin, bright yellow against her pale complexion. A bright spot in the cloud appeared, glowing brighter and larger by the second. The spot exploded, a surge of electricity vaporizing the cloud and freeing Yellow. She was absolutely furious, her expression almost identical to the one she made when I first tried to tell her I had Pink Diamond’s gem. Mo was desperately trying to hold herself up, her full weight supported by her shaking arms and knees. Yellow took two steps forward, the toe of her heels less than a foot away from Mo’s head. As Mo looked up at the enormous Gem above her, Yellow lifted her hand which surged with her aura. Despite her massive size, Yellow moved swiftly, crouching as she dropped her hand. Mo couldn’t move as Yellow’s palm crushed her.


	9. Reminisce (ii)

“You know, it’s actually kind of funny.”

Amethyst whirled while I instinctively summoned my shield. Just around the corner of the passage we had been watching from, Mo had appeared without us noticing. Maybe she had been there the entire time, staying silent as her memories ensnared our attention.

Mo leaned against the rock as she drummed her fingers against the wall, keeping her eyes on the now-empty clearing. “This spot just looked so familiar. I must have relived that day thousands of times, but I still don’t feel any different about it. Does it seem strange that the part that sticks with me the most isn’t the Diamond squashing me?”

“It was what the Peridot said.” It was Amethyst that spoke. She didn’t sound angry or ready for a fight. She sounded drained as if the memories had sapped her energy. She hadn’t even drawn her whip when Mo startled us. “The one with the octagon for a head.”

Mo nodded, the barest traces of smoke drifting around her hair. “I’ve lived for innumerable millennia, but it still stings. I’ve seen and done so much worse than some of Peridot’s tiny words, but they still hurt. It’s kind of pathetic.” Mo finally looked at us, a small, sad smile pulling on her lips. “How does that phrase go? ‘Stick and stones may break my bones, but words can’t hurt me?’ Whoever came up with that clearly never met a Gem.”

“Mo, what are you doing out here?” I asked, putting my shield away. It doesn’t look like she’s going to attack us.

Mo shrugged. “Just stumbled across this place a few thousand years ago and decided to see it again. I didn’t have anywhere else to go. How are they doing?”

She’s talking about Garnet, Pearl, and Bismuth. I just know it. “They’re… upset.”

“Spending days arguing, right? Yeah, that happens.”

Amethyst adjusted her stance in discomfort. “They used to fight like this a lot?”

Another shrug. “A few times. During the Rebellion, the tension was thick enough to stop a sword. Some of us would suddenly go off on the smallest of things, the argument evolving through the root of their distress. A disadvantage of never having to worry about aging: you waste so much time stressing over the dumbest of things. Have they been fighting since I ran off?”

“Pretty much,” I told her.

A sigh this time. “I never wanted this to happen. I guess I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.”

“Mo, did you really…” My voice failed me. How am I supposed to ask her if-

“Did I really cause hundreds of my friends to end up shattered?” She finished for me, the tone of her voice unchanging. She slipped her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “What do you think?”

Amethyst turned her gaze to the ground. I tried to keep eye contact with Mo, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. The heated words thrown out by three of my closest friends echoed in my head. What do I think happened?

“I already know you think I did it,” Mo interrupted my thoughts. She pointed at my stomach, to the gem under my shirt. “You don’t summon your weapon over a little spook unless you think that it’s actually a much bigger threat. Am I right?”

She was. As much I don’t want to believe that Mo did those things, I can’t shake the horrible certainty that she’s guilty. Bismuth is trying to defend her, but she didn’t see what happened. The two were obviously close, so of course, Bismuth wanted to believe that Mo was innocent. It was the way that Garnet and Pearl pushed back, that absolute and terrible defense that seemed unwavering to them in spite of Bismuth offering a different solution. They believe without a shadow of a doubt that Mo caused that ambush. And I believe them.

“I do,” I replied honestly. “I’m sorry, Mo, but I think you’re that one who got all those Gems shattered.”

Mo’s eyes never left me, her steady gaze unsettling. “That’s what I thought. And you?” She directed her question at Amethyst, who didn’t reply. “I guess it doesn’t matter. You believe what you believe.”

“Are you saying that they’re wrong?” I pushed, hoping that Mo would deny her accusation but knowing that would be impossible.

Mo made a circle in the air with one of her fingers, a wisp of smoke holding the shape before returning to her palm. “I would never harm my friends. I never betrayed them. But you think I’m lying, so I guess it doesn’t matter what I say.”

“Then show us!” Amethyst snapped suddenly. “You can show us any of your memories! You just showed us the day you first EMERGED! So just show us what actually happened!”

“And what good would that do?” Mo replied evenly against Amethyst’s anger. “I’m not saying that I can’t do it. I’m saying it’s pointless.”

“And why’s that?” Amethyst yelled, her voice thick with emotions that had built up since we first escaped to the Kindergarten. “It would be so easy for you to just show us!”

“And it’s nearly impossible to change something that someone believes so fervently,” Mo returned, breaking away from the wall and standing in front of us. “I’ve tried to use my powers to prove someone wrong before, and even though I show them the absolute truth, they still reject it. Some things are so deeply sown into our heads that there is just no way to shake them loose. After being around so many different humans all this time, I know that better than ever. And besides, it’s for the best if the truth never surfaced.”

“You know how guilty that makes you sound, right?” I pointed out.

Mo mulled it over for a second. “Uh. Well, that’s not great.”

I took a step forward, Mo following my motion without any other reaction. “Why won’t you try to prove your innocence? Even if Garnet and Pearl won’t believe you, Bismuth will. She’ll believe anything you tell her, good or bad. Don’t you want her to know the truth?”

“More than anything in this world. Still, I can’t bring myself to do it.”

“Why not?” Amethyst's voice had faded to a raspy growl. Her teeth were clenched so tightly that I thought they would crack.

Mo’s shoulder slouched, her stance loose and weary. “Because I would never hurt my friends. Now, are you two going to let me go?”

“What?” The question came so suddenly that it slipped by my mind. “Let you go?”

“I’m leaving,” Mo declared. “I’ve had an idea I need to put some work into. Are two going to let me walk by you and use the Warp Pad, or are you going to stop me?”

Mo said it so casually as if there was no real urgency to the situation. She has to know what our answer is going to be. She’s still giving us this choice, to find out for certain if we believe her innocence even the slimmest bit. If we let her go, she’ll know we have our doubts, that she has a chance. I want to let her walk right by us. I want her to warp away without a struggle, knowing that there’s still the possibility of changing our minds. But I can’t do that. And she knows that. We can’t let Mo just walk out of here to do who knows what. I know she’s dangerous, no matter what I want to believe. We have to stop her, just the two of us.

Amethyst’s gem glows. She pulled her out her whip, her eyes locked on Mo with an expression so hard to read that I can’t begin to place it. I reach for my gem, feel the glow and the brief warmth. My shield appears in front of me, ready to protect me as it always has.

Mo’s eyes roamed over our weapons and fighting stances. She rolled her shoulder. She pushed the lock of hair that seemed to be permanently dangling in front of her face back into her hairline, joining the rest of her limb mane. Smoke began to rise off of her body, wisps coiling and uncoiling in agitated motions. “That’s what I thought.” Once the words had left her mouth, Mo raised her hands. Smoke poured from them, pooling in the air around them. It gathered around her like a shroud, as much a part of her body as her arms or legs. “Then come at me with everything you’ve got, cause I’m not holding back.”

The wind whistled through the canyon, its whine almost deafening in the silence. Amethyst and I stood shoulder to shoulder, weapons at the ready. Mo didn’t take any fighting stance. She just watched us, hands dangling at her sides. She was stock-still, not a twitch, as if she was carved of ivory.

Amethyst moved first, the sound of her whip filling the clearing. Mo easily sidestepped the lashes, her feet hopping from one to the other without stumbling. Amethyst pulled out a second whip and continued her assault. Mo wasn’t faltered, moving so swiftly that the wicked spikes on the ends of Amethyst’s whips meet only open air. Mo grabbed one of her weapons, smoke curling around her fingers. Amethyst’s whips vanished in a blur before Mo’s power could wrench it away. Mo raised her other hand at us, smoke forming a funnel cloud before shooting towards us.

Before I could think, I moved so that I was in front of Amethyst, my shield protecting both of us. The smoke collided with the shield, collapsing back into harmless wisps with the shield unscathed. So she actually has to touch the weapon to steal it? At least that’s a break.

“Steven!”

Amethyst’s warning had come too late. In an instant, Mo had closed the distance between us. Her gem started to glow, her body shining along with it. She leaped, catching the rim of my shield and twisted, using her momentum to swing around my weapon. Mo drew her legs in, angled her path, and slammed her feet into my chest, kicking off with remarkable strength. My feet left the ground as I went airborne, colliding with the cliff a moment later. Pain flared from my back and meet around my chest, the air knocked out of me.

The way she moved was impossible! It’s not like that smooth and coordinated precision that Pearl has or even Spinel’s ridiculous body structure. She had calculated the exact path of her attack, timing each moment perfectly to separate me from my shield. What’s more, she matched it with shapeshifting so that her form could pull off the maneuver, shrinking during the twist and jump, but expanding rapidly to increase the power of the kick. Her opening move was flawless, and we’re only getting started.

Mo had my shield in her hands. Smoke engulfed it, monochrome veins seeping out where the cloud made contact. In seconds, it glitched before vanishing completely.

Amethyst jumped up and curved her back forwards, her rotation increasing until she was a roaring ball spinning dangerously on the stone. Amethyst streak by me, aiming straight at Mo. She didn’t move as Amethyst slammed into her. Mo fell onto her back, her arms wrapping around the spinning gem. She rolled with her, somersaulting back onto her feet. In that same movement, Mo threw Amethyst up, her dashing useless in midair. Mo leaped towards the cliff on her right. She pushed off the stone to the opposing cliff, repeating the action again and again. Effortlessly, she bounded into the air after Amethyst. When she neared, Mo spun, aiming a kick at Amethyst’s side where her attack left her vulnerable. The two hung suspended in the air, the impact of their attacks momentarily stalling their movement. Then, Mo’s leg finished its movement, hurling Amethyst back to the stone far below. She landed in front of me with a crash, the ground underneath her broken into a crater.

I rose to my feet, the world spinning as I did. I kissed my hand and pressed it to my chest. The pain dulled and ceased, my injuries restored by my healing powers. Amethyst pushed herself up shakily, her teeth bared from the impact. Mo landed lightly a few yards away, looking exactly the same as before the fight began. She’s not even breaking a sweat.

“Dude, she’s insane,” Amethyst grunted. “We just started and she’s already moping the floor with us.”

“She’s tough,” I panted, the air finally returning to my lungs. “But we can beat her.”

“Maybe we should-”

Amethyst got cut off as my shield sailed through space between us. We both jumped away from it, widening the distance between us. Mo was bearing down on Amethyst before her feet touched the ground. She pulled back her fist, her knuckles spewing smoke. Mo’s blow struck fast, landing squarely against Amethyst’s gem. Amethyst yelped, her form glitching as the blow knocked her into the center of the clearing.

“Amethyst!” I started to move towards her, but Mo was on me next. I summoned another shield, barely blocking her foot that was aimed at my temple. I pushed her leg to the side to throw her off balance as Pearl showed me. Mo leaned back, shifting her fall to her back. She adjusted mid-fall, caught herself on her hands and swinging legs around, repositioning her hands fluidly. She had swung her body 360 degrees in an instant, keeping her weight on her palms as she drew her legs to her chest and then kicked out. Her heel collided with my chin, stars exploding in my vision. I stumbled back as Mo regained her footing.

I shook myself to clear my head. Mo aimed another punch at my side. I formed bubbles around my fists and blocked her punch with one of my own. My bubble held, but gray fissures covered the spot where it connected with her knuckles. Mo changed her stance, balancing her body as she put her full force into throwing punches. I match each of her blows, her pale knuckles pounding against the pink shell of my bubbles. More and more gray streaks appeared as our fists collided. Every few blows, the bubbles would glitch and break, and I would hurriedly replace them to continue defending. Even though my hands were armored, I felt the force of Mo’s punch ripple up my arm, making my muscles burn as we countered each other.

We pushed back and forth, neither one of us willing to give up an inch for long. Mo was relentless, each strike followed by another and another aimed so precisely that I could barely protect myself. Her movement was so fast that I had to follow blurs to read her movements. I’d been practicing with Pearl for years, even after we stopped fighting Homeworld. We had moved on to sparring with other Gems of all shapes and sizes. I thought I’d come across every possible opponent and learned how to fight them in case of an emergency. Mo proved me wrong. It was if she moved like four Gems combined into one. The precision of Pearl, the grace of a Lapis, the tenacity of a Quartz, and the strength of Bismuth or maybe even Garnet. Against any of them individually, I might have stood a chance. Against all of their styles combined and altered, I won’t last long. Already, Mo’s barrage of punches is breaking through, striking my shoulders and my arms when I failed to keep up. I kept the most attention on my head and torso, but that didn’t stop her from landing punches in my blindspots that started to bruise instantly.

I heard a howl, followed by a whoosh in the air. A streak of purple lashed Mo’s shoulder, flames of the same color licking up from the gem-studs. I threw up a full bubble just in time to save me from the explosion. Mo was thrown off her feet, bouncing on her side once before skidding across the ground.

Amethyst hobbled over, her free hand clutching her gem.

“Amethyst! Are you alright?” I dropped the bubble and ran to her side. I pulled her hand away to see her gem, but there wasn’t any visible damage.”

“I’m fine,” Amethyst panted. “She just… did something to my gem. I can… hardly move…”

“Your form glitched when she punched your gem. Do you think her smoke did this?”

“Maybe… It felt… familiar…” Amethyst managed to say as she leaned on me. The whip fell from her hand and vanished. “Like… like… Steven… we need to fuse.”

At any other time, I would have agreed right away. Now, Amethyst can’t even support herself. Whatever Mo did had sapped her strength to the dregs. I’m amazed she didn’t outright poof. “Are you sure you’re up for it?”

“Who do you… think you’re… talking to?” Amethyst gasped. “I’m ready… for anything…”

“But-”

I cut off when I saw Mo back on her feet. Our moment of peace was gone. Mo took one look at us and sprinted towards us, a shooting star streaking over the ground.

I put my worries aside and trusted Amethyst. I took her hand and pulled her close to me, the warmth from my gem exploding into a searing light. I saw Amethyst’s gem do the same, our forms lost in the brilliance. The world lost its bearings. My thoughts broke apart. Our bodies scattered and collided, blending and rebuilding into someone new. When the last piece was in place, a blast of energy burst out of us, an enormous mushroom cloud erupting and pushing Mo away.


	10. Smoke and Smoky

“It feels sooo good to be back together again!”

The fear and exhaustion weighing on their limbs vanished as exhilaration coursed through my veins. I’m finally back! I let out a ragged chuckle as I flex my fingers and stretch my arms, all three of them.

“Man, I guess they couldn’t keep me away!” I throw out, still feeling giddy from their fusion.

“So that’s what you’re fusion looks like.”

The other voice brings me back to the scene at hand. Right, Mo! I rub the gem on my chest and press a few sore spots on my arms. “Aw man, did you have to hit Steven so hard? It still stings.”

Mo standing still, her arms hanging at her sides and her stance uneven. “Sorry about that, but he can fix himself up later. Now, what’s your name?”

“Riiight, you haven’t met me before!” It slipped my mind that Amethyst and Rose never fused, so Mo’s never seen any version of me. “I’m Smokey Quartz. It’s a pleasure.”

“Smoky Quartz,” Mo tested the name on her tongue. She shrugged. “Guess I can’t be surprised. I have a question for you real quick.”

“Uhh, shoot, I guess…” That’s a complete turnaround for trying to kick my skull in. I’m gonna go with it…

“When Amethyst and Steven fuse, what keeps you together?” Mo asked, smoke coiling around her forearms. “What’s your connection?”

What keeps me together? That’s… random. “Uh… I don’t know. Amethyst was having a hard time and Steven did his whole nice guy thing and bam, I exist. I’m just… here.”

“Hm… Alright.” Mo sighed. “Let’s just get this over with.” She dropped back into a stance, smoke pouring off her skin. That’s the same position she uses when she’s about to rush me! My right arm snaps to the gem on my chest. I feel it’s energy surge, warmth and ease blooming in spite of the coming fight. The stone lets out a quick flash before my yo-yo appears in my hand. Mo scans the new weapon, the smoke swirling around her fists. She braces her legs, ready to spring. I pull my arm back, ready to launch my yo-yo the moment she moves. If she gets close, she’ll mess up my gems again. I’ve got to keep her away. I’ve got-

Mo sighs, relaxing her legs and readjusting her feet so that she was standing upright. “This is stupid,” She mumbles. “I’m sorry.”

“Uhh… What are…”

Mo’s smoke harmlessly fades away to nothing, not a wisp left in sight. Mo stares at her hands her a second before wiping them on her jacket. She runs her fingers through her hair, messing up the strands and causing that lock to fall in front of her face once more. “There’s no point to this. I’m sorry for causing trouble. Just… get out of here.” She walks away, each step seeming to be anchored down by a massive weight. Her shoulders slump and her hair dangles lifelessly around her shoulders. She stumbles over to the base of a cliff, letting her back slumped heavily against the stone, and lets her feet slide out from under her.

One moment, she was ready to fight us. Now… I don’t know. Should I talk to her? No, she’s dangerous. She’ll attack us. But, look at her. She seems so… lost.

Hesitantly, I step forward until I’m standing over her. “So, uh, are we gonna fight or what? I honestly have no idea what’s happening right now.”

Mo rests the back of her head against the stone, staring up at me with those metallic eyes. Today, their luster is gone; they’re just lumps of steel without any polish. “If you’re gonna poof me, just get it over with.”

“P-poof you! What are you talking about?”

She sighed again, a thousand more years pressing down on her. “I’m really tired. I’m so sick of all this. Just put me in a bubble so I don’t have to keep doing this.”

Oh man, this is so WEIRD! How’d we get here? “Look, I don’t understand what you’re talking about. What do you mean by ‘this?’”

Another shrug. “You really don’t want to hear about it. Just… just do it.”

Mo’s not fighting. She’s… giving up? What is this? She was kicking our butts a few minutes ago! Should I bubble her? Maybe that’ll get the others to stop fighting. Mo will be out of the picture and we won’t have to worry about her. It’ll be like… like what my mother did to Bismuth.

No, I can’t do that. Maybe I can just take her back to the Temple? She’ll get bubbled there, too. And look at her! She’s just sitting there! What wrong with her?

A sound drags me out of my thoughts. It’s so quiet that I can’t tell where it’s coming from right away. When I do, I’m not prepared for what’s causing it.

Mo’s crying.

Her eyelids are pressed together tightly, tearing leaking out and running down her cheeks. Smoke drooped from her hair like a curtain, too heavy to do anything except drift to the ground. Mo wrapped her arms around herself as she bites her lip, trying to fight back sobs that shook her body.

“Hey, what are doing? What’s going on?” I kneel down so that I’m eye level with her while still keeping that short distance between us. “Why are you crying?”

Mo didn’t answer. She brought her knees to her chest, curling into a ball. She gave up trying to hold back her sobs, letting the broken gasps escape her lips without restraint. Her smoke grazed my knees and a wave exhaustion washed over me. Is this how tired she is? It feels like the sky’s pressing down on me, making every second unbearable as the burden tried to crush me. How can she stand this? What would make her feel this way?

The smoke seemed to refuse to spread from her, coating the ground with a cloud that clung to her body. She showed me her memories with this smoke. Can I…

A brief voice of caution rose in my head, but I forced it back and plunged my hand into the cloud of smoke. Wisps snaked up my arms, feeling almost like chains this time. I resisted the urge to pull away as the smoke encased my shoulder and then my neck. It continued to spread over my body until it closed over my eyes and the world vanished. 

I was standing on a massive, yellow platform underneath a mauve-streaked sky. The horizon was spotted with caramel-colored mountains that were disfigured like melted candles. The platform was made of the same crystal material as every other Gem structure, but it must have been larger around that those football stadiums Steven would see on TV while he was flipping through channels. I jogged over to the edge and peered over at the ground that was several hundred feet below. The platform seemed to be at the center of a field that stretched for miles, broken up by rolling hills. When I looked closer, I gasped. Deep patches of the land had been uprooted, leaving enormous craters behind. Even from here, I could see the emergence holes lining these chasms. Kindergartens. As I looked around, I noticed spires in the distance or castles floating in the sky on a bed of fluffy clouds.

I didn’t have time to dwell on any of that as a loud rumble made me look upwards. A ship was descending, one that looked like those abandoned vessels on Earth that Peridot trapped us in one time. Its shadow swallowed me as the ship grew closer, dwarfing me as it hovered over the platform. A gust of wind stirred up dust as the ship’s legs touched down. Part of the wall opened and a ramp slid out onto the platform with a scrape of metal. A squad of Nephrites walked out, chatting to each other and laughing occasionally. Centipeedle and her crew had told Steven just how leisurely crews acted around each other, and it’s nice to see proof of that. When another Gem stepped out, I stifled another gasp.

Mo looked completely different. Her limp hair was now a wild mane to match that of a Nephrite. She wore a bodysuit with green markings running down the arms and legs, along with tufts of fur around her ankles. Even her build was different; her torso and limbs were slimmer than what it was today. If it wasn’t for her color, she would’ve looked almost exactly like a Nephrite, except for having two eyes and the cut of her gem.

The rest of the crew quickly left her, talking amongst themselves as Mo followed a distance behind. When her eyes skimmed over the friendly crowd, a pang shot through my chest. It felt heavy yet weightless, crushing but empty. It felt… broken. It felt familiar.

The Nephrites gathered on a round symbol curved into the platform, the emblem of the Four Diamonds the only varying colors. One said something to the others and, after much muttering to themselves, gestured for Mo to join them. Mo’s face brightened as the feeling in my chest lifted. She took a step forward before a hand on her shoulder held her back.

Fear erupted in my stomach so abruptly it felt like I had been punched. The Nephrites pulled back, one hurriedly activating the contraption they were standing. As they descended, Mo turned, her fear radiating off in waves. A new Gem had appeared without my noticing, and the sight of her made my stomach turn for a reason I don’t know.

She’s tall, maybe even taller than Bismuth, and wide. Her orange and scarlet hair was curled into three cones that stuck off the top of her head like horns. Her torso was covered by a severe, sleeveless bodysuit with red and yellow detailing and an orange band tied around her waist. Her skin was a pale peach with stripes of blood-red evenly spaced on her arms, the occasional yellow smear intersecting them. Large boots encased her feet. Her eyes were the darkest shade of red I’d ever seen, almost black around her pupils. An elliptical gemstone shone on her stomach, orange with dots of crimson. The most unusual part apart her was the insignia on her chest. Unlike others that had one diamond, this one had all four of the Diamonds’ marks, like the ones I found in old ruins on Earth.

She drew her hand back, but Mo didn’t relax. The massive Gem looked over Mo, scoffed, and tapped a ring on her wrist. A screen appeared in her hand. She scrolled through a few items before pushing the hologram away. “I see that there’s been some discourse since you’ve taken on your latest position, Moissanite.” Her voice was authoritative, each word perfectly shaped and oozing with status.

Mo’s arms twitched, and I realized that she wanted to wrap them around herself like she does when she’s stressed. It seemed to take all her will to keep them at her sides. “Yes, Condor,” Mo replied, a quiver in her voice. “I haven’t connected with the Nephrites quite yet.”

The Gem, Condor, pulled her screen back to her and tapped on a few items. “It says here that you’re distant and the others have trouble conversating with you. If this had been any other position, this wouldn’t bother me. However, Nephrites are known to be… well-acquainted,” She rolled the word like it she had to force it to come together. “It’s been several months, but you’ve haven’t had any of these interactions. Why do you think that is?”

Mo swallowed, a stone plummeting to her core. I felt her dread crawling up my skin. Still, she pushed past it and responded, “I don’t seem capable of forming a connection with these Gems quite yet. It’s… I’m not sure of how to do so. I’m sorry, Condor.”

Condor sighed and let her screen fade away. “Again with your apologizes. How many times must we go through this? Every time you fail to find a place in the hierarchy, you apologize and promise to try again. I grow sick of hearing that over and over again.

Mo’s head bowed as Condor’s words dug into her. “Of course, Condor.”

“Now, it’s time for your next assignment.”

My heart vanished. The feelings came on so fast that it felt nothing short of a whirlwind. Shock and denial clashed with fangs as they struggled for a hold. Grief pulled on me, trying to make me sink. Above them all was fear, so absolute that its hold crept through my form as a horrible posion.

Mo raised her face to Condor, her metallic eyes wide. “B-but it’s only been a short time! Please, give me a bit longer!” Mo took a step forward, folding her hands in front of her chest. Pleading. “I know I haven’t been able to fit in, but I like it here! Piloting these ships is amazing and I want to keep doing it! Please, Condor.”

Condor glared down at Mo without empathy. Her gaze was as unwavering as the gem at her core. “That doesn’t matter,” Condor threw at her, leaving invisible marks. “It’s clear you don’t belong here. It’s time to move on.”

“But-”

“Enough!” Condor barked. Mo flinched, drawing back from the towering Gem. “This display is pitiful! I thought I made it quite clear that I won’t stand for these miserable pleas. Whatever you think doesn’t matter. My job is it find your place amongst our fellow Gems. It’s clear to me that you could never belong here with Nephrites. You’re incapable of being a part of their crew.”

Mo finally embraced herself, hands clutching her shoulders as she cried. Smoke rose from her body, thin wisps that tried to calm her with inklings of calm. They didn’t work. The storm was too vast from them to quench. Everything was a confusing mess, but the hate and fear blended together, a cold uncertainty that made me want to rip myself apart. It’s horrible. I want it to stop. I’d do anything to make it stop. The anger and spite weren’t aimed at Condor but at Mo, a revulsion of herself so immense that I couldn’t comprehend it, yet it felt so similar to something

“Please don’t do this,” Mo begged, sobs breaking her words. “I can’t keep doing this. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Something ran down my cheek. Tears fell from my eyes to the floor beneath my feet. I can’t tell if these are mine or Mo’s.

Condor continued, her voice not rising despite her shift in tone. “We’ll repeat this process for as long as necessary. If we have to go for thousands of more years, then that’s what we’ll do. And in the end, if we’ve exhausted all possibilities, then we’ll know that you don’t belong anywhere. That you’re a mistake and nothing more. A fluke without a calling.”

That’s not right. She’s not wrong! She’s… she’s different, but that’s okay! Shut up, you cone head!

“Do you have anything else to say, Moissanite?”

At those words, a cloud descended over the storm, smothering the madness until it was lost in the haze. It was empty. It was blank. It held nothing and absorbed nothing. It encompassed everything and yet rejected it all the same. I felt swallowed, but I couldn’t work up the nerve to worry. I was so lost amongst the cloud that I couldn’t find my bearings. It was all gone so quickly that it snatched my breath away as well. In this unnatural peace, I felt nothing but wrongness. Whatever this is, it isn’t right. It’s horrible.

Mo let her arms fall, her sobs muted almost instantly. She kept her eyes down, looking past what was in front of her, or maybe seeing nothing at all. Her smoke faded from her form. While tears still stained her face, Mo’s expression held nothing, completely void of emotion. “Yes, Condor. I understand.” Even her voice, moments ago pleading her haven, held nothing.

Condor nodded as she reached for her Gem. “Good. Your next assignment will be with a squad of Hollandite that recently emerged from one of Blue Diamond’s colonies. The head Gem has already been alerted to your arrival. Are you familiar with their average form?”

“Yes, Condor. I’m familiar.”

“Excellent. Now, let’s begin.” Her gem glowed. A rod sprouted from the stone. Condor grabbed the object and pulled it out. It was swift, all five feet of the weapon in her hands in the blink of an eye, a curved blade with a spike pointing backward from the middle appearing at the end. Condor took a step back, balancing the axe in her hands.

This is all smoke, an illusion of a time long passed. This is a memory, insubstantial. This is a projection of the past. This isn’t really happening.

But it did. This… this all happened…

I can’t believe she went through this. She’s so scared.

She shouldn’t be treated this way. She doesn’t deserve this!

We can help her. We can-

The axe rose, the blade reflecting the weak sunlight. Condor drew the weapon to her right, planting a foot hard against the ground as she swung with all her might.

“NO!” I screamed with voices that weren’t my own, reaching for Mo even though I can’t save her.

Mo doesn’t react as the axe falls. She doesn’t try to defend against the threat. She doesn’t try to dodge as the blade nears her. And when the axe cuts her in half, Mo doesn’t make a sound.

Her form poofs, the entire scene scattering. The platform is gone, as are the mountains and dropship. We’re back in the Kindergarten. I’m kneeling, tasting my own tears. Mo’s stopped crying, staring at the cloudy sky. “I have thousands of memories just like that,” She says, her voice raw. “I’ve relieved each of them so many times that I can’t keep count anymore.”

I struggle to find my voice. “What… what was that?”

Mo chuckles, a pitiful sound. “I was created by accident, and I was worse than an Off-Color. I emerged without a purpose, no calling that gave my existence meaning. Condor’s job was to help me find where I belong. We never did. I don’t belong anywhere.” Mo laughed briefly, the painful breaths echoing throughout the canyons of the Kindergarten. “I’m so sorry for attacking you. I thought… I had an idea. If I couldn’t even be a Crystal Gem, maybe I was meant to be your enemy. It sounds so stupid, but it was my last choice. I felt horrible. I hurt you guys and it tore me apart. I’m so sorry.”

That’s why she attacked me? As ridiculous as it sounds, I can see her reasoning. If her life was a constant struggle to find someplace out of her reach, why wouldn’t she try to be the bad guy? Still…

“I’m glad you didn’t carry through,” I say, adding some pep to my voice. “You really kicked me around, and I mean that literally.”

In spite of her mood, Mo still managed a real chuckle that wasn’t born from pain. “You made it too easy.”

“Ouch. I’m going to be feeling that in the morning, along with the bruises.” I moved forward and placed my back against the cliff, settling down right next to her. “I know how you feel though.” When she didn’t reply, I pressed on. “Steven’s had a lot of trouble trying to find himself. With all the drama with his mother and the Diamonds, he didn’t know what he was supposed to be for a long time. And Amethyst had a hard time fitting in. It was difficult to relate to the other Crystal Gems since they had so much history and she was so new. When she learned about this place’s purpose, why the Kindergarten existed at all, she felt like a monster. It got worse when she heard that even then, she still came out ‘wrong.’ They had a lot to go through, and others didn’t make it easy. That’s where I come in.

“I came about when crud hit the fan and they both were trying to make sense of things they couldn’t understand. Even then, they had each other to lean on. I’m their comfort for each other. I’m a pillar holding them up. And I’m their collective pain and doubt rolled together. I feel everything about themselves that they wished was different and they want to understand. It can feel like drowning, but I’m also my own lifeline. Even if I’m floundering, I’m lucky enough to be made up of two guys that really look out for one another. I’m sorry no one ever did that for you. I just… What I’m trying to say is that I understand, at least a bit. And… I believe you and I’m here for you.”

“What does that mean?” Mo asked, curiosity and suspicion clear but loaded with weariness.

“After seeing that memory and hearing what you said, I don’t think you hurt anyone. Knowing that, I want to help you.” I placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. “And I can lend a helping hand. Or, I guess two, depending on what arm I use.”

Mo stared at me, looking for something to pick apart. Trying to find the lies. When she found none, a small smile turned her lips. A genuine smile that made her face bright and lightened her burden. “No one’s ever said that to me before. Especially the arm thing,” She laughed, high and clear, and I found myself smiling in turn. “Smoky… thanks. That… that…” Tears blurred her eyes. Before I could say something comforting, she hugged me, crying against my shoulder.

I was stunned, but I didn’t pull back. Instead, I rubbed her back as she let out her pain, a drop out of the bucket that had long overflowed. We stayed like this for quite a time. And when my time was done, I let myself come undone.

Mo nestled her head between Amethyst and me as we embraced her shaking body. Mo didn’t let go and neither did we. A few tears rolled down my face, but whether they were sympathetic or happy, I couldn’t tell. Amethyst whispered in Mo’s ear as she tried to soothe her.

Here in the Kindergarten, the sight stripped of its life, we held a Gem who’d been wandering alone her entire existence. And we let her cry until she exhausted herself. Today, in this lifeless place, we helped someone start again.


	11. Story in a Store

The beacon from the Warp Pad made the shadows of the Kindergarten flicker before returning to normal as it deactivated. Amethyst stepped off the pad and leaped down to us, her expression agitated.

"Any luck?" I asked, already knowing the answer from the look on her face.

"Still fighting," she mumbled. Amethyst blew a lock of hair off of her nose, keeping her eyes turned away. "They're just sitting around right now, but they'll blow up any second. Same as usual."

I sighed and slumped against the mangled remains of an Injector that had been destroyed and stripped of its drill years ago. As I closed my eyes, I heard "I'm really sorry."

Opening my eyes, I glanced at Mo sitting on a rock a short distance off. After our confusing interactions, the three of us trekked back to the Warp Pad, continuing the cycle of checking and waiting that Amethyst and I had started when the arguing began. Amethyst had volunteered to peek in immediately once we arrived, leaving me with Mo for an awkward period, even if it only was a minute or two. In less than a week, Mo had gone from a friend to an enemy to… whatever she is now. We haven't really had time to iron out specifics. She'd barely said a word since joining us, and I couldn't think of what to say.

Amethyst set a bag of snacks she snagged from the kitchen between us. Inside was a half-empty CHAAAPS bag and an old box of cookies. "Pearl hasn't exactly stocked up since… this all started," she explained, casting a brief look at Mo, who seemed to slump when she noticed.

I opened the cookie box and pulled out a stale snickerdoodle. "We can work with this. It's a bit old, but I bet it tastes fine. After all, if every porkchop were perfect-" I took a bite, pain flaring from my teeth as they meet what felt like stone. I yelped and threw the cookie away, hearing land with a solid thud against a rock, undamaged.

"What were you saying?" Amethyst drawled as I covered my mouth. I could already feel my healing powers numbing the pain, but the surprise lingered.

Mo rose and picked up the opened box. Examining one of the sides, her brows creased. "You know these are from, like, two years ago, right?"

"Two years? Amethyst, where did you get those?" I asked, still absently rubbing my jaw.

The purple Gem shrugged. "I hid them a while back and forgot about them. I figured, 'why not?' Isn't that the thing? Food gets better with age?"

"That's wine," I corrected. My hand nudged the bag of CHAAAPS, peeking inside to see the dwindled contents. "These wouldn't even last through one bowl of dip. What are we going to do now?" With nothing to eat, there was little else to do in a place like the Kindergarten. Snacking was more for the sake of just doing something than actually managing hunger.

"We could go buy more stuff," Mo suggested, setting down the box of wizened cookies. "I know a place pretty close if we took that train that runs nearby."

"We don't have money," I pointed out. I hadn't brought any cash and I knew Amethyst didn't carry any. One of us would have to warp back to the Temple and grab some, but neither of us had the energy to do that and possibly walk into more screaming.

"I have some."

"You do?" Amethyst's brow rose at Mo's statement. "Why?"

"It's always a good idea to have a little something on you," Mo explained, pulling at her jacket to reach into a pocket that must have been hidden inside. After rummaging for a few seconds, she pulled out a money clip that was absolutely swallowed by a wad of cash!

"Where did you get that?" I exclaimed while Amethyst went "Oh, mama!" She took the lump of cash and weighed it in her hand, whistling as she did. "You could knock someone out with all this dough! Where'd you get this?"

"I invested."

"In what?" I asked, still shellshocked by her causal flaunt.

"A bit of everything, I guess," She took back her clip and tucked it away in her jacket. "I've been in and out of the market since before the federal bank was even founded. Not enough to get noticed, but I still have a good sum on my side."

"So you just keep all that on you?" The only time I'd seen money like that was when my dad got that check from Marty. I know that was much, much more than what Mo showed us, but seeing physical cash felt much more impressive. "Wouldn't a credit card be easier?"

"Credit cards are pure con and scum that I wouldn't go near for all the money in the world!" Mo bristled, a plume of smoke rising from her hair. She caught herself, took a breath, and ran a hand through her hair until the smoke dissipated. "Sorry. I just hate those things."

"I have a feeling you'd get along well with my friend Connie. She likes stuff like the economy."

"I'd love to meet her. That is, some other time," Mo's mood was visibly slipping back down, but she sighed and shook her head. "Anyway, let's get something to eat."

We agreed and let her take the lead out of the Kindergarten. One step back over and I was slightly overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of the world. After spending so much time around the barren landscape, it was jarring to see a field of flowers with butterflies flapping from petal to petal. Amethyst paused beside me, drinking in the same view. Mo, though, was completely unfazed. She'd taken several steps before she realized we weren't beside her. "Are you guys coming?' Mo called to us as we were distracted. We quickly caught, the moment of mesmerized staring over.

We retraced familiar steps to the tracks that would carry the train we used to carry us from and to the Kindergarten. When the next one rumbled passed, the three of us hopped on and got comfortable in a car of haybales. For a couple of hours, we rode in either silence or with simple chitchat. It wasn't much; mostly we talked about random stories or funny accidents, which we had enough of to spare. Eventually, Mo saw some sort of landmark and told us it was time to go. We jumped off and Mo set on walking, Amethyst and I right behind her. The area was rather flat, with a few hills changing up the landscape occasionally. After cresting the side of one of these hills, I looked down and saw a building. It was a giant, rectangular structure with a gigantic parking lot spread out in front. Several cars were already parked between yellow lines, and people walked to and from the building with carts or plastic bags.

"Here we are," Mo chirp, a genuine smile curving her mouth. "Same as always."

"Wait, is that a…" I squinted at a sign above the entrance of the building. Large purple letters with a navy outline stood out against the black backdrop of the parking lot. "PricePal!"

"A what now?" Amethyst asked.

"My dad told me about these! They're like grocery stores, but a lot bigger! And they have clothes, and TVs, and a whole bunch of other stuff! The food is supposed to come in big bulks, too!" I know it's just a store, but I'd never been inside a PricePal before. There weren't any stores anywhere near Beach City, and the few times we had driven by we were usually too busy to stop. And besides, you need a… membership… "How are we going to get anything in there? We aren't members?"

Mo stuck a hand in her jacket and pulled out a plastic card. The purple and navy logo of PricePal was on the front, along with the words 'Membership Access' printed along the bottom. "I've got that covered. Let's go." She began the trek down the hill. I shot a quick glance at Amethyst, who shrugged, and then we were following her.

Mo led us through the automatic doors, smiling at pedestrians that passed by us. Inside, I took in a deep breath as my eyes tried to take in everything. To my left were stands packed with perfectly aligned televisions of varying sizes playing some sort of sci-fi movie. To my right was camping equipment set up around a plastic campfire, large price tags stuck on each item. Farther in, I saw a food stand behind a group of tables and a soda fountain. I turned my head this way and that, catching glimpses of different items farther in still, and I couldn't even see the other side of the store through all the merchandise.

Mo grabbed the two of us, pulled us off to the side, and looked us dead in the eye. "I have to say something real quick. I don't want there to be any trouble or accidents, so please behave yourselves. Amethyst, we have to pay for the food, so don't go putting everything in your mouth on a whim." When Amethyst opened her mouth to protest, Mo quickly said, "But there are free samples, so go nuts on those if you have to do so."

At the prospect of free food, Amethyst bounced on her heels and visibly shook. "I've gotta go! Steven, have fun and find me only if its an emergency! Later!" She tore off down the aisles, heading straight towards a sign that ready "Produce."

"I'm already regretting this," Mo mumbled. "So Steven, anything you want to find first?"

I couldn't focus on any one thing before something else caught my attention. There was just so much. "I honestly can't decide."

"Let's get you something to eat first," Mo said, already guiding me over to the food counter. She greeted the employee with a smile and ordered a jumbo pretzel with cinnamon-sugar and two ice creams cones, vanilla for her and strawberry for me. A few minutes later, we were walking away with the large cones in our hands and Mo carrying a soft pretzel that was wider than my head on a paper plate. As we ate our ice cream and picked pieces of the sugary pretzel, Mo guided me through the maze of the store.

We passed frozen foods which turned out to be three aisles with the freezer sorted into even smaller groups of food. In the far corner was a pharmacy with a bored-looking woman sitting behind a screen. A man with a headset was promoting some sort of superior blender, and I was tempted to watch the rest until Mo pulled me away and popped another bite of pretzel in my mouth. The produce took up much of the back of the PricePal, and different coolers of varying sizes contained so many types of protein and cheese that I couldn't list them all off. I saw Amethyst swarming each free sample stall while patient employees tried to calm her. Mo groaned each time she saw.

When we reached the baked goods, my mouth instantly watered. Rows and rows of cookies, pies, and pastries were heaped on tables and stored in brown boxes with plastic lids. As we wandered by the tables, I wanted to act more like Amethyst and take a piece of every single one. Mo started laughing, pointing out that I had started drooling at the displaying. I felt my face heat up as I wiped my mouth with my sleeve.

"Maybe that's enough food for now. How about clothes?" Mo suggested.

I couldn't help to think the clothing section was a lot like the baked goods. Each item of clothing was kept in individual stacks, with different sizes on top of one another. Articles that were similar to each other were placed together, and the pants were on separate tables from the shirts.

Grabbing a red sweatshirt from a stack, Mo crouched and held the shirt in front of me, shifting it at different angles. "Nah. That's no good." She refolded the sweatshirt and placed it back on its stack. "Let me know if you find something you like."

We waded through the masses of clothes for almost an hour. I found a few items I liked, but I didn't want to impose on Mo so I put them back. That strategy didn't work out since she seemed to notice every time something caught my eye. In that time, I'd amassed quite a pile despite how I tried to deter Mo. When I told her that I like the clothes I wear now, she said, "A little variety wouldn't hurt you."

Through this whole time, Mo seemed to genuinely be enjoying herself, humming and pointing out each section of the store with an enthusiasm I hadn't seen before. That's the weird thing, though. She didn't seem to have a problem with the other customers or employees. Mo was acting like any ordinary human and people barely turned an eye. Aside from the few that noticed her gemstone, I'd doubt any of them would guess she was an alien species.

"How do you do it?" I ask her as she examines a hot pink tank top.

"Do what?" She replies absently.

"Act like a human," I say. "With the other Gems, it's like mixing oil and water. They're nice and all that, but they don't seem to click like you do. No matter how much time they spend here, humans just don't mingle easily for them. But here you are, in possibly one of the most human places ever, and you're just fine. So, how do you do it?"

Mo took some more time to look over the tanktop before setting it back and picking an olive t-shirt. When she set that back, Mo turned around and sat on the edge of the table. "I've just been around them a lot more than the other… than the Crystal Gems. Have I told you why I came to Earth in the first place?" I shook my head. "It was your mother."

"My mom?"

Mo nodded, her gaze becoming misty as if she was looking at something that wasn't there. "I could never find my place amongst the Diamond's hierarchy, and I didn't know how much longer I could go on trying with fruitless results. Pink told me that she knew a place where it didn't matter if I had a purpose or not. I could do whatever I wanted and just be… whoever I wanted to be. Honestly, there were times where that wasn't much easier. Even on Earth, I had no idea what to do. My decisions were mine, but I had no idea what I wanted to do. Suddenly there were so many options, and I was clueless. I fought, I sang, I ate. I grew, I learned, I laughed, I hurt. I was alive for the first time I could remember. And I was happy. Really, really happy. We were fighting and some days everything seemed hopeless, but I wouldn't trade any of those moments for anything."

Mo chuckled, which morphed into a sigh. She picked up a random shirt and worked the material with her fingers without seeming to realize. Not wanting to push too hard, I let her have a moment before asking, "What happened?"

Mo took a breath and let it out. She crumpled the shirt and straightened it out again. "Things went downhill. We hit a dark time, and everything went into the toilet. And then… well, it may be easier if I showed you this." Mo's fingers ran along the metal rings on her arms before they clicked and came off, freeing her jacket's sleeves. She shuffled and freed her arms from the sleeves, dragging the jacket onto her lap. I was taken back that the jacket had been actual clothing instead of part of her form. Before I said anything, I saw it. Underneath was the black, sleeveless shirt with the white "X" on the front. Without her jacket, I saw the spots that had been covered.

Patches of yellow marred her ivory shoulders, spreading along her arms and disappearing underneath her shirt. More patches marred the black material along her sides and back. I'd seen marks like these almost every day since the Diamonds sat in Rose's Fountain, and I had become so used to them that I felt like I shouldn't be surprised. Still, I couldn't hide my shock of seeing signs of corruption on Mo.

"Hey dudes, whatcha doin'?" Amethyst called suddenly, breaking me out of my shock as I watched her approach. She was holding a little plastic cup with a piece of something that looked like a burrito inside. Amethyst threw the cup, plastic and all, in her mouth and chewed. "What's with the look on your… faces…" Amethyst's sentence broke off as she took in the spots on Mo's arms. Taking a great effort to swallow, Amethyst cleared her throat and looked away. "Sorry."

Mo shrugged, folding her jacket into an even square. "It's fine. I'm the one that hides the marks. I know that they aren't something I should try to hide, but they're… hard to look at… sometimes. I tried to reform so that they wouldn't show, but…" Mo's form glowed and shifted. When it cleared, she was wearing a coat that matched her skin color, right down to the yellow spots on the sleeves. "It's just not possible." She shapeshifted back into her normal appearance. "That's pretty much the only reason I buy clothes at all."

Amethyst reached for Mo's jacket and, when Mo didn't stop her, picked it up and examined it without much effort, sticking her fingers through the hole in the shoulder "So you Corrupted along with the others Gems?"

Mo nodded. "Pretty much. Except, my case was a little different."

"Different how?" I asked.

Mo took a moment to think, eyes darting up to the ceiling before returning to us. "You guys know how my powers work by now, or you at least have a general idea, right?"

I thought back to the times I'd seen Mo use her abilities. I remembered how she showed me my memories of Opal and of her own back in the Kindergarten. "You can show memories?"

"Hm, yes. That's one thing I can do per se. I can show my own memories, or I can show another Gem's memories. I'm kinda like a thumb drive. By touching another Gem's gemstone, I can store their memories and show them as my own or have them relieve the memory."

"Wait," Amethyst cut in. "You said you 'store' memories? What does that mean?"

"It means that when I touch someone else's gemstone," She pointed to Amethyst's chest and my naval for emphasis, "I basically download them. Your memories become my own; a separate bank of recollection that I can access. Kinda creepy, right?"

"Very," we said in unison.

"Yeah, not the first time I heard that. Anyway, I was actually talking about a different power. Here's a hint." She lifted a hand to her shoulder, her gemstone standing out against the splotches of yellow. It glowed briefly and my shield appeared over her hand.

I lunged forward, pushing the shield down, whipping my head around to see if anyone had noticed. "You can't just pull out a weapon in public! People get freaked out!"

She let the shield disperse before gesturing to the air around us. It was then that I noticed the wisps of smoke swirling around us, a small sphere separating us from the rest of the shoppers. "Don't worry. It's the same thing I did back in the Kindergarten. All they should see is the three of us talking, no weapons or anything. Now then, do you see what I'm talking about."

"How you copy our weapons and make our forms go all junky," Amethyst said, poking at the strain of smoke floating by her.

"Bingo," Mo snapped her fingers. "I disrupt the abilities of other Gems. That be anything from their weapons to their powers to their forms. Sorry about that, Amethyst."

"S'all good."

Disrupting other Gems' powers? That must have been what she did when Amethyst's form glitched during our fight. And…

"When you resisted Yellow's aura!" I realized, the pieces finally clicking into place. "That's why you didn't poof! You countered her aura!"

"Exactly. And that's what I did when they tried the three Diamonds attacked the planet."

The air grew colder. A distant cry cut through the store as a melodic note swallowed it. I tried to find the source until I remembered the smoke. The smoke is linked to her memories, so that must have been a glimpse into her past. Knowing that didn't shake the shiver that runs up my spine.

"You fought the Corruption?" Amethyst's eyes were wide. Whether the assumption surprised or she was still shaken from the brief memory, I couldn't tell.

"And failed." Mo's chuckled, but her face drooped as another sensation rippled through the smoke. I felt something scrambled, a mixture of emotions and thoughts that broke apart and mashed together so aggressively that I couldn't make heads or tails of what they meant. "I never fully broke free. At first, I was lost in a blur and my thoughts wouldn't process. Eventually, I had a moment of clarity and I was able to fight back. I had my form back, but I could still feel that Corruption, struggling against my control and trying to drag me back into its sickness. Sometimes, it would win.

"I would switch back and forth between my Corrupted form and my real form. Sometimes it was for long stretches of times, or I would switch back after a few moments. It never had any pattern. As long as I kept fighting, I would get my body back. I found other Corrupted Gems in both forms, but I didn't have the heart to poof and bubble them. After all, what kind of hypocrite would that make me? When I was lucid, I spent my time around humans, learning everything I could about them and living amongst them. I think that's what helped me the most." Warmth washed over me. I could make out the distant chatter of voices, so far and quiet that I couldn't make out what they were saying. There were so many. Each voice was somehow clear in my ears even though there must be hundreds, if not thousands speaking out. And with each indistinguishable word they spoke, nostalgic ease that wasn't mine settled in my chest.

"You were all so different from each other, and they were always changing. Each place had different cultures, different ideas, different traditions. Nothing stayed the same for very long. Seeing all that change, how things on Earth were never the same as they were the day before, helped me cope while I struggled. I could change too, be whoever I wanted to be at that moment and someone else the next. Still, I never stopped looking. I tried to find other Gems, hoping that some of them had escaped Corruption. After thousands of years of searching with nothing to show, I gave up. When my Corruption came for me next, I didn't fight. I sank and became plagued, letting myself become lost in the nonsense. I thought it was better to live without sense then to keep on hoping."

"But what about the people you met?" I asked softly. The veil of emotions was becoming heavy. Short scenes popped in and out of my visions, sights that held no meaning and no significance. I could feel the din of Corruption that must have tried to overwhelm her, a chaotic swirl of half-formed thoughts and broken sensations that would have seemed so simply if they could have been understood. "You said being around people helped you. What went wrong?"

The chorus of voices returned, but instead of happiness, I felt my chest break. One after another, the voices fell silent. Some would scream, others would fade, and many simply vanished. In the end, there wasn't a single voice left. Mo's hand trailed through the smoke as the finale voices became silent. "The only bad thing about life on this planet is that it's so short. Time doesn't mean a lot to me since I don't age. But humans do. And they're frail. I would spend a lifetime with someone only to watch them pass on. While they went from a tiny child to a withered elder, I didn't change. I couldn't. Not like that. I lost so many friends, people I loved, just because they ran out of time. And there were others that lost time, from mortal wounds to illness or to themselves. Hundreds of lifetimes of people I cared about, and they all came to an end eventually. If I could find the Gems that escaped, I could finally be with my family again. I could have my timeless friends again. As you know, that didn't work out so well.

"One day, after I'd succumbed to Corruption, I stumbled onto these ruins left from Homeworld Gems. A device started playing all of a sudden. It cut through the blur and managed to coax me out of my stupor. And that's when I first saw you."

"My message to the universe." It was the video the Diamonds and I had broadcast to celebrate the dismantling of the Empire. I remember how White had insisted on using a storybook after I told her how humans told stories back on Earth. It was the same message that brought Spinel to Earth with her Injector. "You saw it?"

Mo nodded. In the background, I could hear the gargle of my voice as I recited my speech to the listening Gems. "It was the first sign I had of there being other Gems out there. For the first time in so many years, I fought to regain control. It was so much harder this time. I struggled for months before I found myself at Rose's Fountain. Every time I'd gone there before, it was dried up and bristling with thorns. Now, it was pink and overflowing. I threw myself in and I couldn't believe the relief that came as the Corruption was washed away."

I remembered that. In that dream I had, I remember my mom's fountain and the joy that came after I crawled into the fountain. "I'm glad that you were able to come back." And I really meant it."

"Ditto," Amethyst added. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you before. I had no idea what was going on. Turns out, you're pretty cool."

"Thanks, guys. That means a lot." Mo turned her head away as the smoke cleared. The noise of shoppers and carts rattling on the floor came crashing back. I'd forgotten we were still in PricePal. Her illusion down, Mo took her jacket from Amethyst and buried her face in the material. "Now stop being sweet. I can't keep crying every time we talk."

Her embarrassment made me laugh, which in turn made Amethyst laugh. Eventually, even Mo was cackling as disrupted shoppers threw us odd looks. We didn't care. We were together and it was easy. Whatever happened in the past and whatever problems are waiting for us at home don't matter. Right now, it's the three of us in the middle of a store. It's simple and clean. And now that Mo's had another weight lifted off her shoulders, we could keep going.

We spent another hour or so drifting through different aisles, mostly those with food. Mo insisted that we get whatever we wanted and she would do the same. Eventually, we were carrying so many items that Mo had to run back out and grab a cart. On the way out, we snagged some more snacks from the food stand. We walked up to a cashier and waited as he scanned each item. Mo paid after swiping her membership card and we left, checking our receipt with a lady standing by the exit. With bags dangling from our arms, we made our way back to the train and watched the sunset from the train car, dipping into our supply of snacks as the sky dimmed. For the time, everything was easy, and I kept my mind here. It was nice and I'm glad we spent the day together.

"So… what's the plan?" Mo spoke to us in-between bites of a snickerdoodle. "Do you guys want to go back to the Kindergarten?"

Just from the look that crossed Amethyst's face, I could tell neither of us did. The thought of going back to the desolate gloom again was enough to turn our opinions.

"We could go to the barn," Amethyst suggested. She was sitting beside me and Mo was on my right as we sat on the edge of the open train car, so she had to lean over to speak to both of us. "Garnet and Pearl won't go there, and Bismuth might… ya know… be cool with it?"

I felt Mo tense beside me, the snickerdoodle crumpling in her hand. "If you don't feel comfortable with it, we can think of something else," I said trying to reassure her. Mo was being so open with us that I didn't want to do something that would make her uncomfortable.

Mo set the broken cookie aside as she rubbed the sugar between her fingers. "It's not that I don't want to. I just… I don't want to make anything worse by showing up."

Amethyst reached across us and shoved Mo semi-roughly. "Well, nothing's gonna get better if you avoid it. Even if we… have been doing the same thing. Ugh, I'm just tired of running around this!"

"Mo," I placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling her gemstone beneath my palm. I had a quick flashback to the scene in New Homeworld and marveled at how the situation had changed. "I think it's time we faced whatever this is and try to sort it out. If you're not ready, then we'll wait. But just know that we'll be here for you, and we'll help you. You can count on us. I promise."

Mo stared at my hand on her shoulder. With a start, I realized that she hadn't put her jacket back on. The article was beside the bags of snacks behind us. The train rattled on, the sound of its engine chugging away and wheels against the tracks holding any silence at bay. Mo placed her hand over mine and squeezed. "Alright. I think I'm ready."

I smiled, and she returned with her own. Amethyst whooped and ripped open a bag of licorice. Everything was looking up, until…

"I just need to poof before we get there."

"...What…"


	12. Repeat Reunion

"This feels so wrong!"

"Dude, she's the one that insisted that we do this."

"I know, but how is walking up carrying this a good idea!" I hold up Mo's gemstone in my hand for emphasis, Amethyst's reflection fractured inside the several facets.

As the train had neared the spot we would get off and walk back to the Kindergarten, Mo had asked us to poof her so that she could reform before seeing Bismuth and the others again. The idea had seemed insane at the time, and we tried to talk her out of it. However, Mo insisted and said we could either help her or she would do it herself. When we still hesitated, Mo pushed that she would reform quickly and we should make our way to the Barn. It had taken more convincing, but she had finally managed to get us to agree. She didn't poof easily though and after many failed attempts with Amethyst's whip and my shield, we finally resigned to form Smoky and complete the task. With the bags from PricePal in hand, Mo's jacket tucked in with the CHAAAAPS, we returned to the Kindergarten and warped to the pad near the Barn.

It was a short walk to the oddly decorated building, but it seemed much longer. Mo's gemstone seemed to weigh a ton, or it may have just been in my head. If something goes wrong, Mo will get bubbled without any chance to defend herself. Hopefully, Peridot and Lapis are here AND they're still open-minded to Mo's innocence.

The pair in question was sitting in the truck bed that was embedded above the open door. From the ground, I hear a sparkle sound effect and a giggling, which makes me think that they're watching Koala Princess. Worry wormed up my throat, but I pushed it down and called out, "Lapis! Peridot!"

The heads stuck over the side of the truck, one triangular and the other with messy hair. In a moment, Lapis was beside us on the ground, Peridot drifting down on a trash can lid. "Steven!" Peridot practically tackled me, squeezing me tightly in an aggressive hug. She let go, only to do the same thing to Amethyst.

"Have you guys been alright?" Lapis asked, prying Peridot off of Amethyst and holding the smaller Gem by her side. "Have you been back to the Temple?"

"Yeah… we've been checking in…" I said uneasily. Just thinking about the arguments we walked in on was enough to make my head stumble.

Amethyst scoffed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Same as it was the past week now. They're still filling the room with hot air."

"I don't know what that means, but it doesn't sound good," Lapis sighed, letting go of Peridot. "We've been doing the same, but nothing's changed. We were hoping they may have cooled off, but no luck."

"I tried to diffuse the situation with my mastery of humor, but they didn't listen," Peridot admitted, puffing with pride before quickly becoming crestfallen. "I even consulted my most well-received jokebook, but nothing worked."

"You may have made it worse," Lapis added.

Peridot grunt and kicked at a pebble on the ground. "At least I tried. I just wanted Bismuth to calm down."

"I know," Lapis laid a hand back on her roommate's shoulder, this time a comforting gesture. "I want that too."

I knew that the fighting had been hard on Amethyst and me, but I could see how much it dragged down Peridot and Lapis. Over the last two years, they had welcomed Bismuth into their inner circle. While we may all be family, I can't deny that there is a divide. I would always be closer to Amethyst, Pearl, and Garnet, my family I had loved since as long as I could remember. And in their own way, Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth had become their own family in our family. Together, we're all at our best. But when it comes time to settle down, we fall back on our smaller groups, content with the people around us. Now that one of their own is suffering, they suffer along with her.

I have to gather my nerve and tell them why we came back. The circumstances are… odd, but it may be the best way to end the fighting. "I think we have an idea to make them stop."

"What is it?" Peridot practically jumps at the glimmer of hope I offered. I can tell that Lapis is more doubtful, but she doesn't pull back. She wants this to be over, as we all do.

With a quick nod of approval from Amethyst, I hold out Mo's gemstone, the sunlight catching on the jewel. Lapis takes a shallow breath as Peridot takes a step closer. "You found her? You poofed her?"

"Not exactly…"

I retell what had happened the day before, and about Mo's memories. It seems weird to tell them about someone else's memories that we watched play out, but I make it work. I try to emphasize how Mo didn't want to fight and how I believed that she's innocent, and Amethyst chimed in to support me from time to time. When I finished the part about when she asked us to poof her, the pair looked at me with a strange mix of expressions: Peridot open and curious, Lapis more suspicious.

Peridot picked up Mo's gemstone and held it up to the light, turning it over and examining its surface. Despite the story, she was still curious enough about the one-of-a-kind Gem. Lapis, however, didn't share that enthusiasm. "Bismuth isn't going to like that you poofed her."

"I know, but she insisted. If we didn't, she said she would do it herself."

"That's kind of awful," Lapis said bluntly.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I think Mo just wanted a new form. I'm clueless, honestly."

Lapis traced her finger over one of Mo's facets, her blue skin highlighted against its pale hue. "If we bubble her, Bismuth would go nuts. If we don't, Garnet and Pearl would be angrier. I don't see how this can work, Steven."

"Trust me, we can smooth this out." I took Mo's gem back from a reluctant Peridot. I polished the jewel with my sleeve, watching the pink reflection blink in and out of the stone. "I really think Mo is a good person. If we can convince them to give her a chance, I'm sure we can get Garnet and Pearl to see that."

"I don't know, Steven," Lapis said, still harboring doubts. "This could go wrong really quickly. Besides, how can you just believe that she's good."

"It's the same thing with you two," I point out, which was true considering that they both tried to kill me. "If I didn't believe in you guys back then, you wouldn't be part of our family today."

The effect of my words was clear. Peridot wiped tears from her eyes while Lapis's shoulders slumped. "Steven-"

Lapis didn't finish her thought. At the same time, I heard the whirl of the Warp Pad activating. A column of light shot down, and a figure appeared inside immediately after. When the light faded, we waited with bated breath. A minute later, Bismuth's massive form was closing the distance to the Barn. Her shoulders were drawn back and her stomping feet left an impression in the dirt. Every part of her body rippled with tension. Her presence was so intense that I had to take a step back as she walked up. It wasn't until she was barely a yard away that she seemed to notice the four of us. "Steven… Amethyst… you're here…"

"Hey Bismuth," I say, noting how her previous tension is fading to weariness, her posture shifting so that her own weight seemed to be pulling her down. "How are you?"

"Honestly, I've been better. We didn't leave things on good terms." Her eyes cut back to the Warp Pad she just arrived on. A slow hand rumbled her rainbow locks tiredly. "We ran out of steam."

"So you're done fighting?" Peridot asks, the expectation clear in her voice.

Bismuth shook her head, a weak smile playing her lips. "I wish it were that. It's a bit more complicated than that." She sighed, looking over the four of us before letting her eyes drop. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this. I'm not at my best. I just… I just want all of this to make sense."

A hand on my back pushed me forward. I looked up at Lapis, who nodded at Bismuth. Alright, now or never. "Bismuth, I have something to show you." I held out my hands, Mo's gem cradled in my palms. Bismuth took a rattling breath, reaching out for the gem. I placed Mo in her hands and watched she stared at the smooth, square jewel. "What happened?"

"We swear it wasn't our idea," Amethyst replied before I could say anything. "She asked us to poof her."

"She… asked you?"

Oh boy, that doesn't sound great. "I know it doesn't sound like the truth, but it is. We didn't hurt her! Mo-"

Bismuth threw back her head and roared with laughter. The change in demeanor was so extreme, so unexpected. I looked at the others, but they seemed to be just as startled as me. Bismuth continued to laugh, wiping tears from her eyes. When she was done, Bismuth cupped one hand over her friend's gem. "I believe you, Steven. This is something Mo used to do back… back then. She really enjoyed changing her form, so she would ask one of us to help poof her. She's so strange, but it's something she would do on a whim. It's so her." Bismuth's fingers, the limbs commonly smashing metal or formed into weapons, traced her friend's gemstone with extreme gentleness. "She hasn't changed."

"Well, that's not exactly true," I admit reluctantly.

"What do you mean?"

Once again, I recount the events that had occurred since yesterday. Bismuth didn't say a word as I described Mo's memories or the brief fight in the Kindergarten, except for when I got to the part with Yellow Diamond. Still, she held her questions as I continued. When she heard about PricePal, she chuckled and peeked into one of the bags we had dragged along. It wasn't until I got to Mo's Corruption that she spoke up. Just three words: "She was Corrupted?"

I nodded, bracing myself to finish the tale. I tried my best to tell her about how Mo pushing against the Diamonds' damage and her time wandering Earth, but I couldn't match the effect Mo herself had had with her smoke. When I was done, Bismuth kept her eyes on the silent jewel, tears welling up from the usually brash Gem. "There's so much she never got to tell me. After all these years, all alone. She hated being alone. I'm so sorry, Mo." Bismuth held her friend's gem to her forehead, tears finally falling as she apologized for circumstances outside her control.

I heard a sniffle to my left and saw Peridot wiping her eyes, Lapis looking at anything aside from the massive form of Bismuth. Amethyst kept silent, watching everything play out without cutting in or making some random comment. I didn't realize I was crying until my own teardrop fell onto the back of my hand. No one said anything, not making an effort to compose ourselves as the seconds ticked by. There we remained, until when Mo's gem glowed.

Bismuth pulled the jewel away from her head, holding it out as if in offering. The square gem lifted from her palms, hovering in the air over our heads. A mass of light surrounded the stone, forming a puppet-like body without features. In a rush, hair bloomed from the top of the head as the outline of an outfit appeared. Just like that, the design shifted to another form, then another and another. Mo's previous forms took shape and morphed into the next in rapid succession, leaving streaks behind on my eyelids. Gradually, it slowed, becoming the outline of the form I recognized from the last week. I thought it was done, but apparently not. Mo's hair suddenly receded as her clothes hastily reshaped.

It was over in seconds, the glow fading as Mo drifted to the ground. Mo had warned us not to be surprised by her new form, but this was so unexpected. Mo's limp hair no longer reached her shoulders. Instead, the lank strands just tickled her earlobe, and the ends were now colored black and yellow. Her pants now had wider legs, exposing the same boots from before. The black shirt with the white "X" on the front remained, but it had been modified… as had Mo's physique. It was as if the shirt's sides had been almost completely cut off, held together by thin strands at the shoulders and hem. It exposed a torso that was now most definitely male, with a flat stomach and chest that were mottled by yellow spots.

I searched Mo's face, struck by another difference. When I first ran into her, Mo's features weren't remarkable or heavily defined. If she had been human, Mo would have blended into a crowd without any noticing her. With her new form, Mo's face was exactly the same but seemed as new as her clothes. With the previous form, her face seemed a bit more feminine. Maybe it was the hair or maybe it was the reforming, but now that it was framed by shorter strands, Mo's face was almost the same yet I would call them a guy before a girl.

Mo opened his eyes, taking in the surroundings and the other Gems. When he saw Bismuth, Mo gasped and drew his arms around himself, hands clutching his elbows. As if in trance, Bismuth rose and took a step towards Mo, who watched her approach with worry in his eyes. Smoke began to leech from his skin, nervous wisps coiling around his head before fading. When Bismuth took another step, Mo broke, "I"m sorry, Bismuth. I never meant for any of this to-"

Bismuth lunged forward and wrapped Mo in her arms, lifting him off the ground in a crushing embrace. Mo let out a startled breath, surprise written all over his face. When she didn't let him go, Mo's expression melted into a quivering smile and he returned her hug.

Shakily, her breath wavering with barely withheld sobs, Bismuth managed to say "I'm just glad you came back."  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, what's up with the look?"

It had been several minutes since Bismuth and Mo let each other go. When they finally did, Mo had apologized profusely to everyone, taking the blame for everything that had been going on recently. Bismuth had shut him down, barking that nothing was Mo's fault. It had been an uneasy moment, but Bismuth finally got Mo to stop trying to self-volunteer for fault, for the moment at least. All six of us moved back into the Barn, sitting on the mismatched seats the trio had arranged. Mo went over everything that I had explained early, but he used his smoke to paint a better picture than I could. There were clearly still some important questions, like the root of this whole scenario with the Crystal Gems, but those had been tabled for now. Bismuth was tired of arguing for so long. Peridot and Lapis were drained from their worries over and weren't ready for another problem to stack on top. Amethyst brushed the issues off, stating that we always manage to work things out in the end eventually. As for me, I know Mo will tell us when he's ready. It won't do any good to rush him, so I'll wait until the time comes.

While the serious stuff had been put aside, that hadn't stopped Amethyst from asking the question that must have been on most of our minds. From her spot on a beat-up recliner, Amethyst gestured at the entirety of Mo. "You said don't be surprised by what you look like, but this was not what I imagined."

"Oh, I guess I didn't mention this," Mo looked himself over, seeming pleased with his new appearance. "I like to switch this between form and the other every time I reform."

"Why's that?" Peridot asked, still eyeing Mo with the same curiosity she had when they first met. "I haven't seen many Gems take on a male form before."

Mo shrugged, but he seemed okay with the question. "I had to experience so many new things for Homeworld, and I was still rather in the habit of doing that when I came to Earth. When I first found out about how humans could be this other sort… function… I had to see what it was like. I took a form like this and I loved it! Still, it didn't feel right to pick just one, so I alternate. Does that make sense?"

"Mostly," Amethyst replied.

"So… are we gonna do something… or am I making this awkward?"

That caused a mad dash for everyone to think of an idea of something to do. From Meep-Morps to movies to speed eating, several possibilities were thrown out all at once. In the end, we sat near each other and had a day really similar to the first one Mo spent here. We all watched TV, ate the snacks we had brought along, talked about this and that, and honestly just had a relaxing evening. That's what I love about the Barn. When you spend time out here, you forget your troubles and just give yourself time to unwind for a bit. It was perfect.

When night fell, Amethyst and Peridot had already fallen asleep in their seats. Lapis threw a blanket over Peridot and left for a late-night flight, a ritual she apparently likes to fulfill now and again. Bismuth pulled out the sleeping bags, which Mo and I wrapped ourselves up in. When we were snug, Bismuth bid us good night and went out to work in her forge. I closed my eyes and let myself sink.

A sound made me stir. It hadn't been very long; I could still see the stars through the Barn's open door. Sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I noticed that Mo's sleeping bag was empty. I didn't think much of it until I heard voices from outside. I got up to check it out, but I paused by the door when I heard what they were talking about.

"Mo, we just need to iron this out," I could hear Bismuth say, sounding more rational than usual. "Garnet and Pearl can be a little slow to adjust sometimes, but you know how accepting they are. We can talk to them."

I heard a sigh, which I instantly connected with Mo. "I want to work through this, but I don't think they will. They think I did horrible things. Unforgivable things.

"Then show them you didn't do anything wrong. Mo, you literally have the power to let them see exactly what happened that day. It's the perfect solution."

"I can't do that."

"Why not?" Bismuth asked. I could hear her begin to pace; heavy footsteps were audible against the packed down dirt. "It would be so easy to set this straight."

"I'm not showing them, Bismuth." Mo returned, the begins of a bite in his tone. "I can't."

"Mo, this is ridiculous!" Bismuth was growing cross, her temper creeping into her voice with each show of resistance. "Did you do something that you don't want them to see?"

"NO!" Mo shouts. "It's… not me… I can't do it."

I heard Bismuth take a step, but one of Mo's followed right after. I can picture him backing away, wrapping his arms around himself. "Just tell me. I just need to understand what's happening. Whatever it is, I won't let it hurt any of us."

"You don't know what you're saying. You can't make a promise like that. Not like this." Mo's voice was wearing down, straining against emotions trying to break free, ones that he's forcing himself to shut away. "I can't let it hurt all of you."

Whatever this is, whatever the truth may be, Mo's keeping it in to protect us. How it can be dangerous or harm us, I don't know. Either way, Mo is doing his best to make sure the truth remains locked up, secure. But I can hear how he wants to let it out, the desperation to let go of another weight like he had the past two days. Still, he refuses. And this secret, the one that could clear his name at an unknown cost, is eating away at him.

"We can take whatever this is," Bismuth assures him, managing to keep her rashness at bay while she soothes Mo. "We've been through so much together, Mo. Good times and bad, mostly bad. We fought together, laughed together, truely lived together. All of us. The Crystal Gems are stronger when we're together. This is a rough bump, but we've always overcome those."

"That's not true," Mo pushed suddenly, frantic emotions slipping free of their reins. "I saw it! I saw what this would do! I won't let it happen! I won't screw this up like everything else!"

"Mo-"

"I'm trying to fix this! I'm trying my best to figure all of this out! But I don't know how! Every possible plan I come up with would backfire! I don't want to mess this up! I want to make this work! I'm so tired of always messing up! I want to do this right! I'm just trying to make this right! I don't… I don't want to see any of you hurt anymore…I don't want to be the reason you all get hurt again..." The fight leaves Mo's voice, becoming that weak tremor that I've become so familiar with over the last few days.

The silence that follows is excruciating. Mo wheezes, recovering from his outburst. Bismuth is soundless, possibly frozen from the verbal explosion. His words run over in my head, playing over and over until something starts to piece together. It's a random scatter, bits of thoughts that float in my head. I'm not trying to solve the mystery, but one realization leads to a possible discovery.

Mo said he knows what this secret would, that he saw how it would hurt the Crystal Gems. I would've thought it was just a familiar event from the Rebellion, but that wording made Mo's powers come to mind. The power to see others' memories. Since he got Uncorrupted, I've only known two Gems that Mo has used his powers on to look into their memories instead of projecting his own. One was me when he attempted to keep us entertained while we waited in my house. The other was a mad rush, a hurried moment of recklessness. In a second of surprise, Mo had taken her hand, touched one of her gemstones. It was barely any time at all, but it may have been enough. One moment to see what this secret would do. One moment to see something that would deter his revelation.

Bismuth had begun to speak, whispering to Mo, calming her. I couldn't focus on what they were saying. Too lost in my thoughts, I barely registered that Bismuth led Mo away from the Barn. All I could focus on was the only next step through this obstacle course. If she knows what Mo saw in her memories, what that brief contact had revealed to make him withdraw, then I have to find out what it is.

I have to talk to Garnet.


	13. Tell Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it's been so long since I updated this. I don't have a good excuse, but I hope you'll enjoy the story nonetheless.

Stepping off the Warp Pad, I felt a lump of dread settle in my stomach. I’d done this hundreds of times, but it was so much harder when I don’t know what I may be walking in on. I glance around the house, noticing that everything seemed to be in perfect order. Pearl must have cleaned up after the argument. She tends to be even more into cleaning when she’s upset. Still, no sign of her or Garnet.

This may be a mistake. The sun is just starting to rise. I’d left the others back at the Barn after Mo and Bismuth finally settled down. None of them know I left, but I should be back before anyone gets up. Hopefully.

I walk up to the Temple Gate and reach inward for the feel of my Gem. It glows, and the door does the same. Instead of the usual swirl of pink, lines of dark red split the smooth surface before it slides open. I peek into to see an empty Burning Room, long emptied of bubbled Gems. It isn’t until a few seconds later that I mentally face-palm. Garnet wouldn’t be here. This isn’t her actual room. Actually, thinking back, have I ever seen her room? That’s a problem for a different day.

I exit and the door closes behind me. I think for a second before hopping back onto the Warp Pad. A second later, I’m standing on the Temple’s only remaining hand, the washer and dryer sitting side-by-side underneath a clothesline. Not here either. I warp back into my house. On a whim, I walk up the stairs and onto the balcony from my room. Up more steps and then I’m in the conservatory.

The remains of moonlight cast a silvery sheen over every surface, making the Galaxy Warp in the center shimmer. The glass dome was almost translucent, seemingly invisible against the backdrop of a starry sky. To my right, Lion’s bed lays empty. Where he could’ve gone, I still don’t know after all these years. Mismatched pots with a variety of plant life lined the walls, among scattered gardening tools. To my immediate left is my bean bag chair and the Diamond control panel nestled between a pair of hibiscus bushes. There, I saw her.

Garnet is sitting against a hibiscus pot. Her visor is gone, which is a rarity for her. She seems to be meditating, but her hands are tense on her knees and her eyes are screwed shut. I clear my throat, letting her know that I’m here. Garnet’s eyes open, all three of them fixating on me. “Steven. I didn’t see you come in.”

“Yeah, sorry. I was just checking up on you.”

“I’m fine,” she says as a spark of electricity jumps from her clenched fingers.

“Oooookay. You sure?”

Garnet’s eyes stay on me for a moment longer before they all drop their gaze to the floor. “No.”

“That’s what I thought.” I break away to drag my bean bag chair over and sit down in front of her. “Where’s Pearl?”

“Little Homeschool. She left shortly after Bismuth.”

“Do you know if she’s coming back soon?”

Garnet’s third eye, the one in the middle of her forehead, twitched. “No.”

“Alright. Well, I need to talk to you.”

“You’ve seen her.”

“What?”

“Him, I mean. You refer to Mo as him. Mo reformed,” Garnet states bluntly, her tone stuck somewhere between resignation and anger that they cancel each other out.

“How did you...?” I glance up at her extra eye. “Right, future vision. I keep forgetting about that. Well, is there anything you have to say about that?”

“I… We…” Garnet’s body shakes. “We can’t…” With that, Garnet’s form glows. Her body comes undone, morphing and splitting into two new forms. When the light fades, Ruby and Sapphire are sitting next to each other, hands intertwined.

I try to push past my surprise. Garnet rarely comes undone by choice. Sometimes, she seems so together that I completely forget that she’s a fusion. Even now, I feel jarred by the sudden shift.

“It’s complicated,” Sapphire tells me in the silence. Her permanent undertone of calm reminds me so much of Garnet that I can’t help but align that piece instantly to her. “We can’t seem to agree.”

“I don’t see why this is an issue,” Ruby grumbles. “She- He was always a Crystal Gem! Before us, before Bismuth, one of the first! There’s no way that Mo would’ve betrayed us!”

“I don’t agree,” Sapphire replied softly. Ice crept from her form, countering out against the heat rising from Ruby. “Mo turned against us. He sided with Homeworld and abandoned all of us. And hurt so many others on the way out.”

Ruby rose, removing her hand from Sapphire’s. “I just can’t picture it. Mo, a traitor? Those words shouldn’t even be in the same sentence! Mo fought alongside us for thousands of years! Now that he’s back, we know he stayed loyal!”

“But how did he come back?” Sapphire threw back, her voice rising. She stood, a fresh wave of frost seeping out from under her feet. “We thought that the explosion left them shattered with the others. If Mo’s back, that means he must have been hiding out on Homeworld all this time. He ran back to them!”

“You don’t know that, Sapphi!” Ruby’s own voice was moving up, the air around her simmering with her rising heat. “He could have been on Earth, or poofed and unable to reform for some reason! Lapis was here, but she was in the mirror! It could have happened to Mo!”

“But how did he free himself? If he’s been stuck, who let him out? If he’s been on Earth, where was he hiding? We don’t know anything about him or what he’s done all these millennia! Steven, I see that you’re about to say something, so please say it quickly!”

The sudden drop back into the thick of the conversation made my head spin. Ruby, steam rising where her feet touched the frost, turned her eyes to me. Sapphire was staring, her mouth pressed into a hard line. I’d been waiting for a time to jump in, but I guess this is the best I’m going to get.

“Okay. There’s a lot I need to catch you guys up on.” And for the third time in less than a day, I recounted Mo’s history again. I started with the incident at the Kindergarten for good measure and recounted how he opened up to me in PricePal. Now I extended, adding the part about returning to the Barn and spending the rest of the day with Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis. “And that’s it, I think.”

The look on Ruby’s face made my insides churn. The usual fire in her eyes had dimmed to embers, her eyes pinched. She sat down, dropping her head onto her hands. “Corrupted. Even them. Even Mo.”

Sapphire breath was unsteady, more drawn out gasps than anything. “But I didn’t see any signs on him. He didn’t have any horns or features. How did he-”

“His jacket was actual clothing,” I explained. “He couldn’t change his form to hide the marks, so he wore a real jacket. Underneath, he has these yellow spots on his back and arms.

“Yellow...marks?” Sapphire’s voice caught.

“Sapphi?” Ruby’s frustration from earlier is gone. She got up and approach Sapphire, pulling her close to her and placing a hand on the side of her face. “What’s wrong?”

Sapphire leaned against Ruby, letting her spouse take up her weight. Resting a hand against Ruby’s, Sapphire took a deep breath to steady herself. “We found him a long time ago. Just once.”

The confusion was clear on Ruby’s face, her brows drawn together as the gears turned in her head. “What are you talking about? We never saw him.”

“You didn’t, but I did. It was the mission in the Geode Hollow. Do you remember?”

The audible hiss that slid from Ruby’s teeth is a clear sign she does. I, however, had never heard of it. “What’s the Geode Hollow?”

“It was a horrible trap. A prison in a big forest, the Geode would snare Gems and lock them inside,” As she explained, Ruby shuddered. “When we found it, a lot of Corrupted Gems had gotten stuck inside. We went in to poof them and destroy the Geode’s core. It… didn’t go well.”

Sapphire picked up the recount. “It was built to be a perfect trap, with obstacles and mazes that left us baffled. That coupled with fighting the Corrupted Gems left us exposed. First, Amethyst got poofed by one of their traps. Then Pearl was caught off-guard by one of the Corrupted Gems and got poofed, too. Rose was protecting them as they regenerated, but the mission only got harder without them and there was no way out. Eventually, we were separated from Rose and had to find our own way out. We tried for hours, but we never had any luck. Even our future vision was stumped with so many pieces in motion and too many unknowns to keep in line. It wasn’t impossible though. We had hope until we got ambushed.

“A nest of Corrupted Gems found us in their lair and we were caught in a fight. We held them off, but it wasn’t enough. When it got down to 3-on-1, we were overwhelmed and knocked out of fusion. Before we could fuse again, one of the monsters got Ruby.” Tears ran down Sapphire's chin. Ruby parted her bangs and wiped them away, Sapphire’s eye never leaving Ruby’s. “I was alone. I’m not a fighter. I never was. I couldn’t hold my own against three Corrupted Gems! All I could do was hold onto your gemstone and try my best to protect you. I couldn’t do it. The monsters were winning. I thought it was over, until…”

“Mo,” I finished, finally figuring out where this story is going.

Sapphire nodded, her tears finally drying. The frost from before had thawed. “Before they could get me, another Corrupted Gem jumped in. It looked like a lizard with white scales, but it was covered in yellow spots. Wisps were rising from these holes in its body, but I thought it was steam at the time. I didn’t think that it may be… that it may have been Mo’s smoke. They fought the other monsters off, guarding me as much as he could. I couldn’t believe what was happening, but I didn’t let the chance slip by me. I tried to help, but we were still outnumbered. We held on long enough for Rose to find us and poof the other Gems. One look at her and the Corrupted Gem protecting me ran off, easily escaping deeper into the Geode. We destroyed the core and got out of there. When you came back, I was so relieved that I didn’t think twice about the monster. We never came across it again.”

Ruby listened with patience I never knew she possessed. She held Sapphire closer, propping her partner up as she finished recounting the disaster. “I never realized. All I could think of from that day is what could have happened to you. I didn’t want to make you go through that again.”

“It was so confusing and terrifying,” Sapphire admits. She slides her hand against Ruby’s locking them together with a slight sizzle. “Nothing made sense. I didn’t want to think about what would have happened to… to you. I couldn’t protect you. I couldn’t do anything without you.”

“Sapphi, you know that’s not true.”

“But I can’t help feeling that way. I thought I’d moved past it, but it all came back.”

“Because of Mo.”

I don’t understand what they’re talking about or what Mo has anything to do with this. But as I watch them comfort each other, I can’t bring myself to interrupt. Honestly, I feel like I might be intruding.

Sapphire nods, wiping the rest of her tears. “When I saw him again, it made all those feelings come rushing back. I felt… powerless. I… I never told you how badly that affected me. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Sapphi, don’t forget that I felt all that too,” Ruby moved her free hand to Sapphire shoulder, rubbing in slow circles. “I felt that they made you uncomfortable. Made us uncomfortable.”

Sapphire sighed as she rested her head on Ruby’s shoulder. “I still don’t know if I can be around them.”

Ruby held Sapphire for a spell, the conservatory quiet as they leaned on each other. “Did you know that I had felt like that, too? That I wasn’t enough for you?”

Sapphire didn’t move away from Ruby, but I saw her eye widen in surprise. “What?”

Ruby nodded. “Sometimes, the Rebellion became too much for me to bear. I kept telling myself that I wouldn’t be able to protect you. That one day, I’d fail you and you’d be hurt. I thought you deserved something better than me. I doubted that I could ever be enough for someone as incredible as you.”

“You’re perfect, Ruby,” Sapphire pulled her head away, locking her gaze with Ruby’s. “I never doubted that you were more than enough for me.”

“I know. I felt stupid when I thought like that. I just… I couldn’t get over it. Remember how we used to come unfused a lot more when we were starting out? One of those times, I went nuts and tore some woods apart. When I was lashing out, Mo found me.”

“Mo?”

“Yeah. You remember how you could say anything to them? How they seem to draw things out of anyone?”

In spite of the atmosphere, Sapphire chuckled. “I do. Like the time they let the whole Quartz group ramble on. He was sitting there for hours.”

“That’s what I did. I told them everything and they listened to everything. Afterward, they talked me down and showed me some of my memories. They helped me relive the first day we came to earth and all the things we found here. I got to see us stumble around as Garnet like it was brand new. They… they made me remember what it felt like to come together, helped me see why we were together in the first place.”

“I didn’t know.” Sapphire chuckled again, this time more forcefully. “After thousands of years, I can’t believe there are still things about each other we don’t know.”

“Then we should start looking for more.”

Ruby tilted Sapphire's chin and kissed her. Sapphire threw her arms around Ruby’s shoulder with a laugh. Ruby spun them around, Sapphire’s dress billowing as their laughter grew. Their bodies glowed, phasing together seamlessly. When it dimmed, Garnet was standing in front of me again, smiling as a tear slid down her cheek.

“Garnet,” I whispered, too many emotions welling up inside me.

She lowered herself to the floor, crossing her legs as she sat across from me. “I think I’m ready.”

“You want to talk?”

Garnet nodded, her eyes straying to the rings on her fingers. “I was struggling. When Mo arrived, they brought back unresolved feelings. Instead of dealing with these feelings, we forgot them. They were buried for thousands of years, but they came back in full. I was… new. I didn’t have the stability I have today. Ruby and Sapphire made mistakes, and I think we’ve started to solve them now.”

“I’m glad. Even after all this time, it amazes me how even you’re still figuring things out.”

“Especially me,” Garnet clarified. “And I’ll never be done.”

“Then, I need your help so that I can make things make sense. Everything seems so fragile right now, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or what’s all going on.” I confessed my doubts to Garnet, feeling a burden lift with each word that leaves my mouth. “Can you help me?”

Garnet’s eyes softened, her smile widening just a bit. “I’ll always help you, Steven.”

“Thank you.” Taking a deep breath, I ask my first question. “Why does Mo unsettle you? I know what he supposedly did, but it’s more than that, isn’t it?”

“It is.” Garnet’s gaze lowered from mine as she thought. “I told you how the future spreads out before me and braches like a river. It’s my job to steer down the right current. The future builds and ebbs and breaks off into pools. In some way, it always makes sense. Except for when it comes to Mo. With them, I’m blind.”

“Blind?”

Garnet reached behind her, scooping out a handful of dirt from the potted plant. She set it on the floor between us, separating it into smaller mounds. With a finger, she traced the trail between them. “As the rest of the possibilities continue to flow, Mo is blocked from the current.”

“Like one of those ‘pools of improbability’ you told me about?”

“Not quite.” Garnet poked the top of one of the mounds. “Mo is like the land around a river, always there but never in the water. I can see the result of his actions and the possible futures of those around him, but not Mo himself. I could spend years searching but never catch one glimpse of him.”

The story from PricePal came crashing back. I remember Mo summoning my shield, explaining how her powers work. “They disrupt your future vision.”

Garnet nods. “He has the power to unbalance our own abilities. My future vision is no exception. I can’t accurately see what he may do, only the disjointed possibility of consequences. Mo is a living blindspot, an impossible factor in the most complicated of equations. And that scared me.”

I remember. It was one day over two years ago. Garnet and I spent a day chasing improbable outcomes that eluded her vision. Even when she was having trouble processing, Garnet kept forcing herself to experiment until she broke down. The scene of her holding kittens in the rain makes my heart clench. “That’s why you couldn’t trust him. You were clueless. And to have a person like that around during a time like the Rebellion… I can’t imagine.”

“But I acted poorly.” Suddenly, Garnet squashed one the dirt mounds with her palm. She exhaled, wiping off her hand and drawing it back to her. “Bismuth was right. I would avoid Mo because they unsettled me. Because they scared me. I took my fear out by cutting Mo away. If I had just tried to understand back then, I doubt I would be conflicted now.”

My breath caught. Does that mean… It’s time for the big question. “Do you think he’s guilty?”

Clumping the dirt back together, Garnet returned the pile to the pot. She spent a few seconds smoothing it down before she turned back to me. Her eyes were bright in the breaking dawn, the rising sun’s rays highlighting her blue-and-red form. “No, I don’t believe Mo would do something like that. They loved the Crystal Gems with all their being. They would never hurt us.”

Warm relief washed over me. Most of the worry that I’d been holding onto since I stepped onto the Warp Pad vanished. “That’s great. I should tell you that Mo’s at the Barn right now. He’s… working through some things with Bismuth.”

“Is he alright?” Garnet’s question wavered, a layer of guilt underlining her calm tone. “After he escaped, I didn’t know what he would do.”

“Mo’s fine. He’s just… figuring some things out.” I take another deep breath before continuing. “Mo wants to fix things, but he’s scared about messing up. I think… I think he can tell us what happened, but he believes that the truth would hurt us somehow.”

Without her visor, Garnet’s face was much is much more open. Each of her eyes betrays her confusion, as does her small frown. “Hurt us? What does he mean by that?”

“He won’t say. I’m guessing it has something to do with what he saw. You know, when he touched your Gem,” I raised my right hand to show her. “What he saw shook him. Can you tell me what it was?”

Garnet lifted her hand, turning it over so that she could see the gem in her palm. The sunlight reflected off the facets of Sapphire’s gemstone. “It was a blur. He only caught brief glimpses from what I can recall. But what they were off… When he grabbed my hand, I saw Pink Diamond.”

“Mom?”

“STEEEEE~EEEEEEVEEEEENNNNN~”

The dim light of the observatory brightened in a glow of pink as a familiar voice boomed. I practically jumped to my feet. Even Garnet flinched. Spinning around, I saw that my Diamond Panel had been activated, the array of buttons lit up on its normally pale surface. Above that, a holographic screen had come on. A large face took up the entire projection and then some. The first thing I saw was a set of flawless teeth smiling at me, outlined by black lips. The next was her eyes, the metallic pupils startlingly bright. When the screen adjusted to draw back from her face, I’d gotten over my initial surprise. “White, hey.”

White Diamond, former leader of the entire Gem race, fixed my with an excite grin and literally beamed. I pressed a button on the console to dim the glow.”Steven, I was hoping to catch you. It’s been quite a trial to contact you these last few days. I was ready to fly my ship to earth.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about that. Things here have been really… complicated.”

“Are you alright? Do you need me to help you sort things out? Is someone causing trouble?”

“NO! I mean, yes- It’s confusing. I swear, White, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You seem troubled.”

Sometimes, I blame myself for helping her be more empathetic. I’ll take the progress, though. “I’ve been trying to help my friends, but it’s been pretty difficult. Recently, an old Crystal Gem showed up and they brought a lot of baggage along. Mo’s trying his best, but he’s-”

“Mo? Do you mean Moissanite?”

“You know Mo?” As soon as I asked the question, I heard how stupid it was. Of course White knows who Mo is. A one-of-kind Gem emerges from her Kindergarten and has a run-in with Yellow? It must have been a big deal on Homeworld.

“Of course I remember that curious little Gem,” White replies, messing with the screen on her side of the message. She started moving, the hologram following her. “She caused quite a stir. Although, I’d thought that she’d been shattered during Pink’s Rebellion.”

“He survived and was Corrupted like the rest of the Gems on Earth,” I explained as a worm of dread crept in. “Was he… on your side?”

“On our side? Stars, no.” White said with a slight laugh. “If anything she was a shard in our foot. Our forces kept falling to her resistance, even our fusions.”

The creeping doubt fled in an instant. So he really is telling the truth; Mo didn’t defect to Homeworld. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“Should I be hurt by that?”

I rushed to catch my stumble. “Sorry! I didn’t mean it like that. Part of the problem is that Mo was accused of betraying the Crystal Gems.”

“Really?” Genuine surprise flashed in White’s eyes. “I imagine that must would come as quite a shock to Pink.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because those two spent a lot of time together when Pink lived on Homeworld.”

The air froze. My blood stilled. Suddenly, things became too quiet. “What?”

“Your mother took quite a fascination in Moissanite and Pink called them to her quite a bit.”

“Mo… knew about my mom? That she was Pink Diamond?” Why didn’t he say anything? Mo didn’t mention that he knew mom’s biggest secret! Did she… Did mom hurt him, too?

“Steven, you don’t seem alright? What is it, Starlight?” White’s concern drew me back. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

I couldn’t speak. Too many thoughts were racing through my head. The garden where Spinel was stuck for thousands of years. The pink Gem’s pain as she struggled to come to terms with her abandonment. A grieving Blue Diamond and a furious Yellow arguing at my trial. White stuck inside her ship, locking herself away by choice. Volleyball’s cracked eye growing worse and worse. Did everyone who knew my mom end up hurting? Did all of them become worse off because of her? Is Mo suffering because of her?

A hand on my shoulder made my mind still. Garnet looked down at me, her visor back in place. Still, her comforting grip was enough to pull me back together. Collecting my voice, I said “White, can you help us?”

“Of course, Steven. What can I do?”

“We need to know about Mo’s past. Can you tell us more?”

White thought, her hand cupping her chin. “I don’t know how much I can tell you that can be of help. But… there is someone that may know. Come to Homeworld and I’ll introduce you. And bring your… I mean, your friend may feel free to join.”

With a wave of her hand, the Warp Pad in the conservatory activated. The pillar of light shot into the sky, waiting to connect with the one in White’s throne room. With a nod from Garnet, we stepped into the light and were whisked away. We zipped past stars and planets, protected in the stream of the Warp Pad. When we touched down seconds later, White Diamond stood before us, a towering figure in a massive room.

We’re on Homeworld and, hopefully, we can find another piece of this puzzle.


	14. Hurtful Assistance

The Diamond Throne room is a massive display of intricate patterns and authority. Starting at pointed bases, hovering columns around the room’s border stretch upwards, three perfect blocks circling each other as they rise. More columns sprout from the floor, crisscrossing under the ceiling in indistinguishable designs. Murals along the walls were of lines coming together to form layers of hands holding up the Diamond insignia. While the rest of the throne room was made of pale colors, five objects broke the lackluster shades. The first was the rug cutting across the floor, made of a thin, pale red gem material. The centerpieces were, of course, the thrones. The smallest one is a pink seat with a round top situated between two larger thrones, one formed with an icy-blue stone and exaggerated point, the other a light yellow with a triple spiked backrest. Above them all is the largest throne, one made of pure white jewel and topped off with a diamond figure.

As Garnet and I stepped off the Warp Pad, the owner of the largest throne rose from her seat, closing the distance between us in seconds where we would’ve had to sprint to make that time. White Diamond kneeled, her massive, pale form eclipsing my line of sight. A shadow fell over me a moment before a ginormous hand scooped me up. The world spun as White lifted me to her eye level, smiling so brightly that I was mildly worried that I would be blinded.

“Steven!” She exclaimed, her voice booming. “I’m so happy to see you in person! I’ve missed you so much!”

Preparing myself for her trademark display of over-affection, I managed a smile in return. “It’s good to see you too, White, but hasn’t Spinel been keeping you company?”

“Oh, Spinel’s been splendid! I don’t think I’ve seen Yellow laugh this much in ages.” She sighed, her vision drifting as she thought about something beyond my existence. “But it’s not the same. Besides, she’s off with Blue and Yellow at the moment?”

“Where did they go?”

“Spinel’s time coped up in Pink’s garden left her anxious,” White explained with a wave of her other hand, causing a breeze to stir my hair. “She convinced those two to show her the wonders of the galaxies that she missed out on.”

“That sounds wonderful!” Spinel had suffered alone for so long that I wasn't sure if she could ever actually recover. Hearing about she’s going on adventures leaves me relieved. And having the Diamonds actually explore the planets they conquered and those beyond will be good for them. “Wait, you didn’t go with them?”

White’s smile dimmed to a weighted grin, her eyes softening. “I wish I could, but… I find that I’m not ready quite yet. I feel more comfortable here on Homeworld. For now, at least.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” White hadn’t left Homeworld in thousands of years before I first arrived and started Era 3, and she spent most of that time locked away in her ship. Her whole world was the inside of the mecha’s head and the puppet control over her Pearl. The effects of her self-inflicted solitude must have left marks that had faded less than I realized. “There’s no rush; take your time.”

“Thank you, Steven. Now, I absolutely must show you this statue that the Bismuths made as a gift for you! The detailing is perfect, of course.”

“We really don’t have to do that right now,” I insisted, knowing that this would spiral into hours or maybe days of distractions and smothering. “Besides, we needed to talk.”

“We can talk on the trip over.” White had already risen and started walking over to the exit. “This way, I can show you some of the other developments. We’ve been making sure to keep your vision in mind, without forcing anyone to conform, of course, and the Gems seem to be adjusting accordingly. Some of the things they’ve done, well, you just have to see. First- Oh?” White looked down, where Garnet had hopped on one of her toes to get her attention. “Oh yes, the Gar-, I mean, your friend Garnet. ‘Everyone is their own person and should be treated as such,’” she quoted me as she bent down to pick up Garnet, placing her beside me on the large palm.

Garnet cleared her throat as she faced the former monarch. “White, we really must speak with you. It’s important.”

“Are you sure? Is spending time with me that much of a burden to you? Am I that much of a bother?”

I rolled my eyes. “White.”

“Fine if that’s how it is. Just go ahead and break my heart, Steven.” With her free hand, White covered her eyes and turned her head away from us, pretending to cry.

Garnet chuckled beside me. It’s times like these that I miss when she couldn’t stand to be near the Diamonds. “White, it’s not like that. One of my friends is in trouble and we don’t know how to help him. We really need your help though.” I pressed that last bit, knowing it would draw her in.

It did. White turned back to us, any signs of a pout gone. “Alright. I know how much you love your friends. Just promise to visit again soon.”

“I promise. Now, what can you tell us about Mo? Moissanite, I mean.”

“Ah, yes. That peculiar Gem. She was quite a surprise. She-”

“Excuse me,” I interrupted. “I’m sorry for butting in, but it’s actually ‘he’ now?”

“‘He?’”

“For the moment.”

White just stared at me for several seconds as this sunk in. “Alright. So, HE was a Gem that we’d never seen before. On one of my exploits, I’d discovered this planet on the very edge of a star’s pull. It had the potential to bear abundant life, but we’d found of clear signs of meteor strikes that left the planet barren. That made it quite easy to establish many Kindergartens very quickly. The overall production was still a detour, so I left the process in the hands of the Peridots and continued on my way. I didn’t think much about it until Yellow came storming into this throne room with a bubbled Gem. Apparently, she’d been worried about my prolonged absence on the planet and went to check. She’s known for her easy temper, so I was dismissive of her alleged plight, but she insisted. What she showed us shocked us all.

“She released the gemstone and it took the form of a Gem we’d never seen before. Yellow had the head Peridot explain how there was an accident with the Injector and about the resulting Off-Colors. Normally, I would’ve been furious about one of my colonies bearing such results, but I was intrigued by this Gem. She- HE was practically a lifeless stone, watching all of us with these empty eyes. I didn’t think much beyond his unaccounted existence before Yellow informed us of how this Gem had repelled her aura and counterattacked, a feat no Gem other than another Diamond should be accomplished. I picked the Gem up and examined her more closely, and she, sorry, he didn’t react. I did the only natural option: I took over his body.”

“WHAT?” I yelped as Garnet gasped.

To her credit, White did seem to feel a little guilty. “That was before I knew that it was wrong and how abusive my power could be.” Another line from me. “Anyway, when I did that, I felt resistance. I’d never had an obstacle when using my power before. I was so startled that I called off my aura. That was when I noticed the substance around her.”

“Her smoke?” I asked.

“Smoke? Steven, you must realize it’s much more than that.”

“What do you mean?”

“That wasn’t smoke, Steven,” White explained, her eyes flashing. “That was an aura.”

“An aura? Mo’s a Diamond!?” The words sounded so far-fetched that I couldn’t believe I’d said them. I’d only heard of Diamond’s having this aura thing, so how could Mo?

“A Diamond? Starlight, no.” White chuckled at my exclamation. “That was our first thought, too, but a quick look-over proved that she- HE wasn’t a Diamond. Although, he is almost identical to one. I would say that he’s an inferior breed of Diamond, something close but missing that key factor. When we ran some tests later, he was almost indistinguishable from the injection of my essence used to create him. He has similar abilities to us and is a step above other Gems, but he was still something new. One of our first solutions was to shatter him. Stop looking at me like that. We didn’t. Our main problem was that, unlike other Gems, this one didn’t seem to have an innate purpose. The best solution was to figure out what to do with him when we found an answer.”

The timeline was coming into picture. “We know about him trying to find his place in Gem society. On the call, you said that Mo was close to my mother. Can you tell us more about that?”

“Of course. Pink was utterly fascinated by this strange Gem. She would drag him away and play little games with him or show him around Homeworld. She wanted to find some sort of reaction. It was her that named the Gem Moissanite and eventually discovered his power. After that, she would spend hours having him help her relieve her past memories. It seemed harmless at first until Moissanite showed us one of Pink’s memories without being in contact with her. We realized then how dangerous it was to have her using her powers freely around Diamonds, so we tried to keep him away from Pink. As you can imagine, that didn’t work out. Pink would sneak off and find him no matter where we put Moissanite. And the more time they spent together, the more Moissanite changed.

“He went from being this expressionless figure to smiling and openly communicating. He acted and reacted without prompting. Little by little, Moissanite developed a persona. That’s when Blue had an idea: if being around Pink and her little games had this effect on the Gem, then experiencing many different things would bring out Moissanite’s true purpose. We set him off with those assignments you mentioned, and for thousands of years that was it. Until he joined the Rebellion that is.

“Moissanite was one of the first Gems reported to have joined the resistance on Earth. Knowing the truth about your mother, I guess that makes sense. Pink kept reporting back that Moissanite was a constant hindrance, second only to Rose Quartz. I wasn’t particularly worried about the Rebellion, but the fact that Moissanite had defected to them made me reconsider. I let it go after I heard that they were shattered, though.”

Garnet forced herself in front of me, pushing me back. “Shattered? You said he was shattered?”

White Diamond seemed taken aback by Garnet’s sudden question. From being interrupted or some hurt pride due to lingering superiority, I’m not sure. “That’s what Pink told us, yes. Moissanite was engaged in a failed ambush mission that Homeworld scouts had discovered. In the skirmish, a Pyrope disobeyed Pink’s orders and launched a last effort attack that decimated forces on both sides. One of the casualties was Moissanite. That is until you told me that he was still whole.”

Garnet’s voice was quivering, threatening to break. “But, Rose said… She said Mo was destroyed. That he betrayed us to Homeworld. Rose said Mo turned back to Homeworld.”

It was clear from White pinched brows and tilted head that she had no idea what Garnet was talking about. “If Moissanite, Mo as you call him, had come back to Homeworld, we would have bubbled him away immediately and dealt with him. Moissanite never came back.”

Garnet was shaking. I placed a hand on her arm, which she covered with her own. Mom had lied to her, all of them, about Mo. She painted Mo as a traitor that helped shatter so many of their comrades. She has taken a Gem that had been beside her for lifetimes and posed her as the enemy.

She had hurt someone else.

“Steven, are you alright? You seem upset.”

White’s voice dragged me back from my thoughts, from that growing familiar frustration that made my blood spike and my powers spiral. I forced my composure into place. “It’s… a lot to process. Can you tell us any more?”

“I’m afraid that’s all I know. However, there may be someone else that can help you.” White walked back over to her throne and tapped the armrest. A holographic screen appeared in the air. She tapped a few panels on the screen before swiping it away. “I sent out a message. They’ll probably be at your house shortly.”

“My… house? Not here?”

“As much as I want you to stay, you two don’t seem well. I may not be the best at understanding others, but even I can see that. Go take care of what you need to do. I can wait. For now.”

“Thanks, White. You’ve been a big help.”

“Whatever you need, starlight.” White set us down on the Warp Pad gently, patting the top of my head with her finger. “Let me know if you need me.”

“I will.” I gave her one last smile as I activated the Warp Pad and the light encased us again. During the short trip, I spared a glance at Garnet, instantly seeing the tension in her form.

When we touched down in the observatory and stepped down, Garnet crossed her arms and let out a deep sigh.

“Garnet-”

Before I could say anything else, the Warp Pad reactivated. A figure appeared in the stream of light. When the light faded, my throat constricted. My mind shot back to a memory that wasn’t my own, of a far-away planet and a landing ship, of a battle-ax slicing Mo in two.

She hadn’t changed a bit since back then. Right down to the sleeveless bodysuit, pale orange skin with blood-red strips, and three hair cones. The insignia of all four Diamonds remained on her bodysuit. As she shifted, her naval gemstone caught the light, flashing orange and crimson.

As she stepped off the platform, the massive Gem met my eyes. I felt like I was drowning in them, the darkest shade of red pulling me in until I was crushed.

She planted her feet shoulder-width apart and set her arms at her side. With a rough voice and bark of authority, she introduced herself. “Pleased to make your acquaintance. I am Condor Agate Facet 2F7K. I’m here to assist you.”


	15. Snack Break

Condor assessed the observatory with calculated turns of her head, mouth turned down. “Hmm. Another garden. I shouldn’t be surprised. Pink was always fond of plant-life.” The orange gem looked me over with a quick twitch of her eyes. “I see the resemblance,” she stated dryly.

I was frozen, my heart beating a mile a minute as I looked up at Condor. A flash of overwhelming fear tore through me, a scream rising to my throat. The rational part of my brain jumpstarted, bringing me back to my senses. The fear faded, a shadow that flickered at the edge of my thoughts. That wasn’t mine; it’s Mo’s. It was the same fear that chilled me when I relived his memory of Condor, the emotion so strong that it flared up from its embers.

Condor stepped past me and approached the Diamond console. With a few practiced taps, several screens popped up in front of her. She swiped through them, dismissing some and staring at others for snipped seconds. I gathered myself and found my voice. “What are you doing?”

“Familiarizing myself with the Gem technology and sites located on this planet,” Condor replied, her eyes never leaving the screens. “There are many more than I had originally believed there to be. I had assumed construction had made less headway before that revolt started.”

“Um...right... But why?”

“So I can locate Moissanite.”

Unease crept in as I remembered Mo’s breakdown in front of his former superior in the memory. “There’s no need to find him. We just need to figure some things out, and you might have the information. White said you could… uh… help us?”

Condor lingered on a display of a spire before she flickered it, causing the display to scatter into more screens. “I would expect that I would be more than helpful for your query. I spent millennia as Moissanite’s handler. No one in the universe knows more about her.”

“It’s him,” Garnet said, her voice rough, the way it gets when she’s getting angry.

Condor stopped her search and spared Garnet a glance. “Please explain.”

I stepped forward before Garnet said something that could upset Condor. After the revelation about Mo and my mom, her temper would be at its limits. “What Garnet means is that Mo’s currently a guy right now. He switches whenever he reforms.”

Condor’s gaze lingered on me as she typed on the panel. Another screen popped up, scrolling through organized Gem letters. “Ah, I see. Most organisms on this planet differentiate between two… genders, the report calls them… based on certain characteristics of their form. You say Mo is currently going by,” she checked the screen again, “the male species?”

“Yes, exactly. That’s a little wordier than I would put it, but as long as it helps you understand.”

“Yes, I understand.” Condor pressed the report again, causing the screen to vanish. “Moissanite is adjusting to how lifeforms behave on Earth, particularly humans. She’s even given herself a code name it seems. I’m pleased to see that she's still adhering to her mission to find her role, even if it appears to be skewed.”

My relief from earlier fizzled. “Mo isn’t following a mission.”

“Seems that way to me,” Condor said absently.

Garnet’s fist clenched, her ring standing out on her finger. “You should watch what you say.”

Condor powered off the console, apparently satisfied with what she had learned. She clasped her hands behind her back as she faced us again. “I have acquired all the information I need. Now, where would the nearest Warp Pad connected with the system on Earth be?”

I was thrown by her complete disregard of what we had said. Even the worst Gems I’d met had at least gotten angry. Condor’s general demeanor hadn’t gone farther than slightly confused since she showed up. “There’s one downstairs. First floor.”

Condor nodded. “Thank you, your…. Pardon me, but what shall I call you?”

I count it as a positive that she hadn’t called me Pink Diamond or Rose Quartz. “Steven is fine.”

“Of course. Thank you, Steven.” She turned around and walked out of the observatory without another word.

I looked up at Garnet, whose lips were pressed into a thin line. “We can’t let her see Mo.”

Garnet’s body unwound slightly as I spoke to her. “Why not? She’s not pleasant, but I imagine Mo wouldn’t take that personally.”

“Mo’s terrified of her!” I explained as quickly as I could, from Mo’s reaction to Condor in his memory to that he told me about spending thousands of years being pushed from one spot to the next under Condor’s instruction. “Mo’s fragile. If he sees Condor, he might not be able to take it.”

Garnet processed all of this with a stony expression, perfected by her visor. “Alright. Mo came here to escape Condor. We won’t let her find him.”

We followed Condor into the house. The Agate had found the Warp Pad, squatting down so that she could run her hand over its surface. With a small rumble in her throat, she tapped her wrist against the Warp Pad. I noticed a band of copper-colored metal with gray streaks, like the ones the Peridots’ had worn in Mo’s first memory. The metal started to glow a faint cyan as it projected a holographic globe in the air. Dozens of purple dots appeared on the sphere. Condor tapped one of the dots, a small panel appearing above the point.

“What is that?” I couldn’t help but ask.

If she hadn’t realized we had arrived, Condor didn’t show any surprise. “It’s a log of Warp Pads on this planet. I imagine that you haven’t seen one of these since none of the allies had the proper access. Each time a Warp Pad is used, it registers the starting Warp Pad, which Gem used it, and the destination. As I expected, this planet’s system consists mostly of a Ruby/Sapphire fusion, Amethyst, Pearl, and Pink Diamond.” She tapped a point along the continent's eastern coast and pushed the log over to me. “This is the log for this particular location,” she clarified as she gave our Warp Pad a prod with her foot.

I took a closer look. I was still rusty in the Gem language, but I gathered what I could. The log had two columns. The first had a picture of a gemstone with an identification code under each. I saw all of the Crystal Gem’s stone, and Garnet’s registered as two with the pictures situated next to each other. The second column had a confusing series of symbols that I assumed was the connecting Warp Pad. The most recent uses showed the same series of coordinates, which means it’s probably for the Prime Kindergarten. The one at the very top of the list had my gemstone with different coordinates. That must be the Barn.

The log returned to Condor. “I’ve gathered that you’ve had some issues with Moissanite. From what I’ve heard about your endeavors, you’ve probably come here from her current location.” She swiped the top listing on the log and a dot turned white. “That would be the one.”

I swallowed. This is bad! Before we could even try and keep her away from Mo, Condor had already figured out where he was. In a rush of inspiration, I put myself between Condor and the Warp Pad. “Hey, no need to go rushing off. There are other ways to get around than by Warp Pad.”

“You’re correct,” Condor relinquished. “But it’s the most reasonable place to start. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” She started to move around me.

I threw out my arm to cut her off. Condor glared at me. I forced what I hope was a convincing smile. “Before you go… how about… a… snack?”

“...A snack?”

“Uh… yeeeaaahhh. A snack. Food.”

One of Condor’s eyebrows arched. “Food… nutrition. The sources say that flesh-organisms consume to obtain sustenance. Gems don’t need that.”

“Riiight, but you may enjoy it. Gems are capable of eating. You should try something.”

Condor scoffed. “I don’t need to waste my time.”

That’s not working. Maybe I should try a different angle. “Mo eats. If you understand food, you might get a better lead on finding him.”

Condor stared at me, which I hoped meant she was considering. “Do Gems get any benefit from this consumption.”

“Yeah! Totally!” She was going along! I can’t believe that worked! “Amethyst loves to eat! I know you said you don’t need to, but I promise it’s worth a shot. Just ask Garnet.”

I threw the conversation over to the stoic fusion. With her visor, it was tough to get a read on her thoughts. As Condor focused on her, I motioned for her to play along. After a stiff moment, Garnet said rigidly, “Yes. Food is quite good. I like to eat. You should try.”

Garnet’s poor improv skill left me on shaky legs. I couldn’t tear my eyes away as Condor stood silently beside me. Finally, she rolled her eyes. “If you insist. Only so I can understand any actions Moissanite will take that I wouldn’t account for otherwise.”

I let out a small sigh of relief. I lead Condor over to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and a couple of the cabinets, displaying her options. “There’s a lot of different things you could eat. We have apples and oranges if you want fruit, a few hot dogs, eggs, milk, tuna, cream cheese, chips. I would recommend ice cream, but that’s more for dessert.

If Condor was confused, she didn’t let it show. She strode past me and picked an opened box out of the cabinet. “What are these?”

“Oh, those are my pouches with my protein shake mix.”

Condor picked one up and examined it with a small shake. I took the box out of her hands and showed her the nutrition label on the bottom. “I used to be really busy, so I didn’t have a lot of time to stop and eat a full meal. These come with the vitamins and things I need to start the day.” I read the print on the bag Condor was holding. “That’s vanilla flavored. I also have chocolate in here if you want to try that. There were some strawberry ones, but I already drank all those.”

Condor tested the vanilla bag with another shake before picking up a chocolate one. She shook them both and listened with intense concentration. “Which would you recommend?”

“Well, I like them both. Here, how about you open them and smell them. Pick the one you like better and I’ll get the other one. That way I can show you how to make a shake.”

Condor did just that, tearing the top off each pouch. She sniffed the contents of the chocolate one, mulled it over, then did the same for the vanilla. “I prefer this one.” Holding up the chocolate pouch, she handed the vanilla to me.

“Great. Now for the next part.”

“Put this in my mouth?” She eyed the powder warily, sticking a finger in and pulling it back out.

I couldn’t help but chuckle. Watching a Gem try everyday Earth things for the first time is always a little funny. “No, we have to mix it with something. I just do water, but you could use milk if you want.” I pulled out the carton to show her.

Peering inside, Condor seemed a little put off. “Where do you find this substance.”

“From a cow,” I told her.

“What is a cow?”

“I’ll explain that later. Do you want to try it?”

With another uneasy look, Condor let out a subdued sigh. “I suppose I’ll try.”

I pulled two mixer cups out of the cabinet. Explaining each easy step in detail for Condor, I poured the vanilla powder into my cup and then water. Condor copied me and hesitantly added the milk, holding the cartoon awkwardly.”Now just put the lid on, make sure it’s tight, and shake it.” Condor moved her arm stiffly up and down once. “No, no. Like this.” I shook my cup back and forth, hearing the water slosh around inside. Condor mimicked me, adding more effort into her movements.

“If you want, get a little creative. Let me try something.” I pulled my phone out and opened my playlist. I picked one of the Sadie Killer and the Suspects instrumentals that they had sent me for a review last year. It started with Jenny testing out a rhythm on her guitar. She strummed three times, paused, and then did it again. Every couple of sets, she would try out different chords to see what felt the best. I moved my arms with her strumming: up, down, up, pause, up, down, up, pause. “Just follow the beat.”

Condor seemed to understand what I was doing because she started following along, too. She moved her arm to the pattern, the movements stiff as a board. “Is this normally how humans make these… shakes?”

I shrugged. “No, but it’s more fun this way. You can just shake it the regular way if you want. Here, Garnet, show her how it’s done.” I tossed my cup to Garnet, who caught it effortlessly.

“Sure.” She held out the hand clutching the cup, took a breath, and shook the container so rapidly that it became nothing more than a blur.

“Too much, Garnet!” I took the cup back in fear that she would cause it to spill or accidentally launched it into orbit. “I think that’s enough. Now what you do is take off the lid and drink it.” I unscrewed the lid and raised the cup to my lips to show her. I took a sip and motioned for Condor to try.

Condor removed the lid and placed it on the counter. With a disapproving hum in her throat, she peered into the cup, trying to examine the protein shake. She glanced at me, and I gave her a thumbs-up. Condor groaned as she tilted back her head and swallowed. She whipped the cup away from her mouth, her eyes wide and startled.

“Do you not like it? You don’t have to keep drinking it if you don’t want to.” I reached out to take the shake back, but she directed my hand away.

“I was merely surprised is all. This substance is… pleasant.” She took another swig of the shake. “This concoction isn’t as revolting as I predicted.”

“You can just say that you like it,” I said with a smile.

Condor nodded. “I guess that’s the case. I must admit that I would like more.”

I gestured to the dining table. “While you drink that, why don’t we talk for a bit? If we get to know you a little better, this might all work out a little easier.” And give us some more time to distract her, but I kept that to myself.

“Is that a human custom?’

“Hmm, more or less. Take a seat.”

Condor must have liked that protein shake because she sat down in the chair I offered without any more resistance. I sat across from her while Garnet took the seat on my right. I gulped down another mouthful of my shake before I said, “So, why did you come here? You know you don’t have to listen to White anymore.”

Condor readjusted the band on her wrist. “I am very well aware. I chose to do so.”

“Okay. Then what have you been doing the last few thousand years without Mo? Wasn’t your whole job to help him find his place on Homeworld?”

“You are mostly correct. Overseeing Moissanite’s assignments was my objective for many millennia. After her betrayal and supposed shattering, I was ordered to take over other aspects of Gem management and improve efficiency.” Condor took another sip. “After I updated one aspect, I moved to another and then another. Wherever my Diamonds felt to send me, I went along. Whenever a colony was losing efficiency due to a long-standing problem, I was usually sent to fix it. If another Agate couldn’t fulfill her duties, I was a likely replacement temporarily.”

“Which court were you from?” I ask as she takes a swig. “Sorry, but it’s hard to tell with your crest like that.”

“I suppose my position is quite unusual.” She glanced down at the insignia of the Diamonds on her chest. “Technically speaking, I’m from Blue Diamond’s court, but from Yellow Diamond’s resources. My Kindergarten was on Blue Diamond’s planet, and the essence of the other Diamond’s was used since the planet was brimming with diverse resources. My creation was quite perfect, as the records will show. The Diamond’s decided that instead of joining Yellow’s court, I’d act as an agent for every court and gave me the position of fixing universal issues.”

“I bet you got to go to so many places. Even if you were working, I can’t imagine how many planets you must have gone to. Did you have a favorite?”

Condor made a tsk sound with her tongue. “I never prioritized a planet’s aesthetics. I merely solved problems.”

I decided to push. “Still, there must have been one that you liked. Or maybe one that you remember for some special reason?”

“One that I remember…” Condor's eyes drifted to the window, to something beyond her sight. “I suppose there is one. I had only been there a short time before everything changed.”

“Changed? What do you-”

The band on her wrist beeped. Condor extended her arm and the holographic globe returned. The dot labeling the Barn’s Warp Pad had lit up. Condor tapped it, reopening the archive. A new entry had been recorded. I couldn’t make sense of the destination listed, but I did recognize the user. The white, square gem is unlike any other I had seen.

“Moissanite is using the Warp Pad,” Condor declared. She rose from her chair and set the empty cup down.

My brain went into overdrive, thinking of any way of diverting the Agate. “Where is he going?”

Before she answered, the Temple’s Warp Pad lit up. The light dropped off four Gems standing close together. Peridot and Lapis were in the back, while Bismuth had a supportive hand on Mo’s shoulder. The pale Gem’s eyes landed on me instantly, then on Garnet beside me. He took a deep breath, steadying himself. Bismuth patted his shoulder.

I couldn’t keep my eyes on the new arrivals, my attention drifting back to Condor sitting across from me. Mo hadn’t noticed yet. He raised his arm meekly in greeting. “Hey, guys. I’m sorry for coming uninvited.”

He’s come to make things right with Garnet! This is bad! I mean, a great step for him, but the timing was awful! Garnet, for all of her calm demeanor, was petrified half-risen from her seat.

Mo continued as we remained stunned. “I know that you must be mad at me Garnet, and I… I’m sorry about the trouble I caused you. I should’ve tried to explain things earlier. I just… I’ve never been good at controlling my emotions. I got the best of myself. I’m really, really sorry.” When we stayed silent, Mo’s expression changed from nervous to confused. “Umm… are you… going to say anything? Punch me maybe? I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to do here.” He caught my eyes returning to Condor. “What are you guys-” He inhaled sharply as he followed my gaze, finally spotting the Gem from his past.

Condor had straightened her posture, standing in that same pose of authority that I saw Holly Blue use in the Human Zoo. The hovering globe had vanished. “Moissanite, you’ve been absent for quite some time.”

Mo’s eyes were wide, his mouth parted. A wisp of smoke rose from his hair. “Con...Condor.”

She nodded shortly. “I am pleased to hear that you remember me.”

Bismuth looked at each of us, clearly trying to piece this all together. “Mo, is that a friend of yours?”

“It’s… It’s her…” Mo clutched Bismuth’s arm as he stumbled. Even from here, I could tell how tight his grip was.

“Mo?”

“Bismuth… get me out of here,” His voice was shaking worse than I had ever heard it. The smoke rising off his body was agitated, collapsing and splitting in harsh movements.

Bismuth placed her hand on Mo’s shoulder. “Mo, what’s going on? Who is she?”

Mo couldn’t speak. His eyes were frozen on Condor, limbs locked and quivering. Peridot and Lapis took a spot on either side of him, watching Condor warily.

The orange Agate grunted. “Still with the pathetic display, I see. How many times had I told you to stop acting like some non-sentient stone? You still haven’t changed.” Condor took a step forward. The action made Mo clutch Bismuth’s arm harder. Condor observed the pair with a tilt of her head. “Have you finally made progress in your search? Is this-” she waved a hand at our mismatched group, “where you belong?” When Mo didn’t respond, Condor pressed on. “Have you not realized that you shouldn’t be here?”

“Condor!” I stepped in front of her, putting my body between the Agate and Mo. “You can’t say that!”

“Why not? I’m merely speaking the truth.” Condor moved around me, shoving me aside when I tried to cut in front of her again. “I can’t imagine that she fits in with all the trouble she causes.”

“That’s enough!” Garnet grabbed Condor’s arm and pulled her back. “Nothing you said is true! Mo belongs here!”

For a brief moment, I hoped that she would back down. That hope died when Condor chuckled darkly. “Do you honestly believe that? Let me make an educated guess about Mo’s time on Earth. She made you unsettled. Restless. Completely uncomfortable in her presence. Whenever she was around, problems would emerge and she was always at the center. Moissanite spent her time here as a never-ending source of discourse.”

Mo seemed to shrink as the words filled the room. His mouth opened slightly, but the only sound that came out was a strangled whimper. The pitiful sound was drowned out by Bismuth’s growl. The colorful-haired gem steered Mo behind her, rising to her full height and stomping towards Condor. “How dare you say that about Mo! He’s a Crystal Gem! He’s been our ally, our friend, since the very beginning! Things don’t always go smoothly, but that’s life! Mo is as dear to us as any of our friends, and he’s never been a burden!”

Condor ripped her arm out of Garnet’s grasp. She strode right up to Bismuth and met her glare with one of equal ferocity. With a start, I realized that the Gems were almost the same height and bulk. While most people would have cowered beneath Bismuth’s anger, Condor remained completely unfazed. “‘Never been a bother,’ you say? I find that utterly ridiculous!” Condor spat. “Can you tell me that Moissanite has never caused dispute within your ranks? Or that she hasn’t had one of her outbursts? I’ve known her since the beginning of her creation, and I know that she would never belong here!”

“He does!” Bismuth roared. “Mo deserves to be here as much as any of us!”

“Malarkey!” Condor shouted back. “Moissanite doesn’t deserve to be anywhere! After thousands and thousands of years spent pointlessly searching the cosmos, I know that fact better than anything else! Moissanite is a worthless, existence-less Gem who should never have been formed!”

The dam broke. Bismuth’s fist struck Condor’s face before any of us could realize what was coming. Condor stumbled, her eyes burning. Her hand went to the gem at her navel. The jewel glowed, a shaft emerging from its center. Condor pulled it free, light constructing into the war ax I had seen in Mo’s memory.

“Stop it…”

Condor swung her weapon at Bismuth, who deflected the blade at the last second by shapeshifting her hand into a scissor. With her other, she shaped her fist into a hammer and tried to bring it down on Condor. The Agate sidestepped, grabbed Bismuth's wrist, pulled her off balance, and elbowed her in the face.

“Stop it…”

Condor swung her ax again. I reached in towards my gem and pulled out my shield. I leapt between the fighting pair and deflected Condor’s attack. In the next instant, Garnet slammed the back of her gauntlet against Condor midsection, lifting her off her feet and landing on top of the dining table. Its legs gave, dumping down on the floor in a pile splinters. She got right back up and dusted herself off. The ax in her hand glowed, the handle shortening and the blade slightly compacting. She threw the smaller ax so fast that her arm blurred. I threw my shield and diverted the ax’s course a second before it hit Garnet. The blade spun and embedded itself in a couch cushion.

“Enough…”

Condor drew another ax from her gem, this one full length. Garnet rushed her, landing a volley of lightning-fast punches that left streaks in my vision. Condor’s body shook with each impact but didn’t fall. She twirled the ax, parrying one of Garnet’s gauntlets and escaping her combo. With effortless precision, Condor continued the movement of the weapon, the blade meeting the second gauntlet. Sparks flew as the weapons collided.

A mass of gray tackled Condor, knocking her away from Garnet. The Agate‘s back hit the door, causing the wood to buckle and the hinges to groan. Bismuth spun, using both hands to form a massive hammer. Condor caught the weapon, bracing herself against the wall as she pushed back. The two were stalled until Condor threw the hammer down, making Bismuth fall forward. Condor’s knee connected with Bismuth's face.

“STOP IT!”

A sheet of white swallowed me. Voices screamed in my head, ripping through my skull as they clamored against each other. Scenes rose and fell so quickly as a maelstrom of broken memories pressed down on me. My emotions were in flux, screaming and breaking and rising without reason. It’s too much! I felt like I wanted to break into pieces! I just wanted this to stop! Make! It! Stop!

A surge of anger erupted inside me, so sudden and violent that the smoke couldn’t wash it away. The world tinted pink. I opened my mouth and screamed, the madness finally finding relief. The house shook as the wood beneath me was crushed into splinters. The storm of memories drew back, letting my scream quiet.

The scattered cloud settled on the ground, now a mist that curled around my ankles. The others were kneeling or leaning against something, steadying themselves after the massive shock. Mo stood alone on the Warp Pad, his arms raised in front of him. His hair was a mass of smoke, the follicles indistinguishable from the essence that settled on the floor. His body was glowing, his eyes metallic beacons in the mist. For a moment, his body wasn’t shaking. He wasn’t curling in on himself, trying to become small and insignificant. With lips drawn back over his teeth and eyes shining, Mo seemed powerful, a soldier from the Rebellion.

Someone stood up, emerging from the sheet of smoke. An ax in hand, Condor stepped away from Bismuth, still kneeling against the coffee table from the sudden mayhem. I tried to stand, but my head screamed in pain. The smoke had curled around my limbs again, a massive collection of thoughts and feelings pulling me down. The other Crystal Gems were just as incapacitated, but Condor somehow managed to overcome Mo’s ability.

Condor locked eyes with Mo, the pale Gem’s fierce mask breaking apart. His arms started to lower, his pupils dilating. Still, he wouldn’t release the smoke or back away.

Noticing this, the orange Agate made a disapproving noise in her throat. “Really, Moissanite? Still resisting?”

Mo didn’t respond. Agate rolled her eyes. “You never change, even after thousands of years away in hiding. I’ve been through this protective facade enough times that I still remember exactly how it feels. Are we going to commence this relentless pattern again?” Condor snapped her finger, the sound deafening in the silenced room. “I place you in your assignment, you try to fulfill your duties, you fail, I find a new assignment, you resist, I’m forced to use extreme measures, repeat.” She snapped again. “New assignment, do your duties, fail, resist, fail, repeat.” Snap. “Assignment, duties, fail, resist, fail, repeat!” Snap! “Repeat, repeat, REPEAT!” On the last word, Agate swung her ax, cleaving off a corner of the kitchen counter. Mo flinched, the smoke jumping.

My vision was messing up. I was seeing a faint double of Condor overlaying the original, growing slightly larger with each second. “Do you not see what you’re doing, Moissanite? Have you not figured out that you’re still following a pattern?” Condor dispersed her ax as she threw out her arms. Her double copied her, arms reaching from wall to wall, the face twisted maliciously beyond recognition. “Look around you! See what you’re doing all over again!”

For the first time, Mo’s eyes left Condor. I saw his eyes skim over Peridot slouched against the wall. On Lapis trying unsuccessfully to stand. Of Garnet struggling to pull herself up on the doorframe. Bismuth doubled over the coffee table, barely able to lift her head. On me as I watched helplessly from the floor. And I saw the horror take over. Flashes of images burst into my head. They went so fast that I couldn’t make out specifics. I did see repeated scenes of smoke, of Gems crumbled around a distressed Mo.

Condor continued, her tone filled to the brim with a stifling certainty. “You do nothing but bring misery for those around you. You must have figured this out. Everywhere you go, everything you did, every time you try to convince yourself that you’ve finally become the Gem that belongs somewhere, you will always be a problem. An error. Flawed.”

Pain. A consuming, crushing abyss of pain opened in my heart. Tears poured from my cheeks as I felt the agony of her words dig in.

I felt them. The seeming endless current of emotions and memories that Mo kept bottled in their heart. Secret suffering kept away from others and buried deep, deep down. A toxic substance that he wanted to keep sealed away. And Condor had cracked the bottle.

_Don’t mess this up-_

_I’ll do it right this time!_

_I have to be better!_

_Why can’t I do this?_

_I’m trying!_

_I want to be right!_

_Why can’t I be what I’m supposed to be?_

_Why don’t I fit?_

_Why… Why do I exist?_

_All I do is mess things up…_

_I always end up hurting them…_

_Is… there a reason I’m here?_

_I was made wrong…_

_I shouldn’t be here…_

_I shouldn’t be anywhere…_

_I shouldn’t…_

_I shouldn’t exist…_

I wanted it to stop. Thousands of years of grief weighed on me, suffering that’s not my own. And there was something else, emerging from the murks. Dangerous and controlling, a feeling that seemed to fill my veins with sludge.

Hate.

A self-loathing so immense that I thought I would break. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t make sense of the memories tied to these feelings. There was only that consuming spite that wanted nothing else than to drown me. A hatred fed by thoughts of imperfection and failure. It made me want to flee, to leave my body behind until I outran it, and until I outran everything and ceased to exist.

And then it was gone.

I was left gasping, my body sweating as tears pooled beneath me. The smoke drew back, releasing everyone from the swirl of memories. Mo’s knees had given out. He kneeled on the Warp Pad, arms wrapped around himself as tears leaked through eyes shut tight. Condor was standing over him, stalled as the last of the smoke returned to Mo’s body. She summoned another ax, raising the blade over Mo. The ax fell.

My mind erupted. Snippets of the last week emerged in sharp focus. Mo introducing herself on the boardwalk after I bumped into her. Laughing at Peridot as we watched her reactions to Camp Pining Heart in the barn. Mo taking Amethyst and me to the store and telling us about her time on Earth. Her putting on a playful personality as she showed us her power for the first time.

In a short time, I’d learned a lot about Mo. I’d seen him at casual highs and at crushing lows. His modest and friendly personality. His distress and confusion. I hadn’t imagined what laid underneath all of that. I never imagined that there could be hate that strong, directed towards yourself. Mo carried that every day, doing what should have been impossible and choosing to try and make the next day better. Even in that abyss, he still hadn’t given up yet.

He deserves another chance.

The blade slowed. The other Gems, now rising after the smoke had cleared, became nearly petrified. I pushed myself up off the floor, my limbs glowing pink. I rushed towards Mo, throwing myself in front of him as I put up a shield. Time caught up. The ax collided with my barrier, harmless.

Condor’s eyes widened. I gritted my teeth and pushed back. “Leave. Him. ALONE!”

Condor’s eyes were filled with shock, but her arms moved on their own, drilled by years of fighting experience and instinct. The ax shrunk, becoming a size that could accommodate my closeness where the longer handle would be useless. I jumped back, pulling Mo’s still body with me as the blade met empty air. Condor took a step forward, crossing the threshold and coming completely onto the surface of the Warp Pad.

I don’t know if it was me, or Condor, or even Mo in his distressed state, but it activated. The three of us were surrounded in a veil of light. I felt my body lift, sucked up in the stream. In less than a second, the view of my house was gone and we entered the void of the streams.


	16. By Your Side Again

Even in transit, Condor refused to give up. She sliced at me again, her shortened ax a blur of orange. I raised my shield instinctively, but I made a mistake. My body reacted on instinct, following Pearl’s teaching from our training sessions. I went to shift my legs, to brace them against the impact. But we’re in a Warp Stream, where our bodies are carried along without any purchase for our feet. The ax connected, and without my legs to hold me, I was thrown out of the stream.

Cold. The instant I left the light, I felt a chill creep over my skin. The void between the Warp Pads held nothing. No light, not warmth, no land. It was a true abyss, one where nothing was meant to exist. Peridot tried to explain to me once why it existed. Something about a space devoid of matter, a pocket in the universe that left itself detached until the Warp Pads wormed their way in. I didn’t understand what she said, but it helped me steady my head.

The stream from the Temple’s Warp Pad was in front of me, but growing farther away as I was blown back, no force acting against the momentum from Condor’s strike. I have to stop myself!

It still makes my heart twist when I do this, but I don’t have a choice! I recalled Jasper’s training, relentless days of pummeling and pain as she built me up. A haze of pink surrounded my limbs, and I know that my pupils must be shaped like diamonds right now. Like… now’s the time to think of that!

I reached for my bubble, my usual defensive sphere. Not right! A different shape! A panel! I pictured the construct of light, a sturdy hexagon. My gem glowed. I crashed into something hard, my back lighting up with pain. The panel had appeared behind me and stopped me! I almost sighed before I remembered how thin the air was in here. I moved my body so that my feet were planted firmly against the construct. I set my eyes on the stream, the tail end in sight as it almost reached its destination. I put all the strength I could into my legs and pushed off!

It was close. So close that only the right half of my upper body went into the stream of light. I thought I would sail right through. But the stream sucked me right, washing me in a warmth that was welcomed after the biting cold of the void. I finally took a breath as the abyss vanished completely, letting in a burst of colors.

The stream faded, its job done. I was in the air a few dozen feet, having not been in the right spot. I let myself drift down, my eyes moving quickly to see what laid beneath me. There was no one on the Warp Pad. I frantically searched, my heart pummeling my chest at the worst possibilities.

There!

Just a few yards away from the Warp Pad, Condor and Mo were standing a short distance apart. I created another panel beneath me and jumped over to them, landing lightly on my feet. Mo was staring at the surroundings, his limbs loose at his side. His back was to Condor, who walked soundlessly. For the first time, I took the time to see where we had ended up. And I saw…

Strawberries.

Giant strawberries, some even larger than Condor, were growing as far as the eye could see. Bushes of green made the reddish-pink of the strawberries stand out brilliantly in the light of the rising sun. Platforms with massive clusters of vines were suspended in the air far over our heads. Various weapons of all shapes and sizes lay scattered within the plant life.

I hadn’t been here in a long time. There wasn’t any need to come here again. Just like it had after centuries of battle, the former wasteland had settled somewhere deep in my mind and remained dormant. But now, it seemed impossible that I could forget about the battlefield that now hosted tremendous strawberries.

Mo was slowly moving his head, turning to look at a patch of the field to another. Smoke rose from his hair, the strand impossibly pale in the faint sunrise. “This… I’m back…” Mo’s voice was as insubstantial as his smoke. He took an unsteady step forward, his body in a trance as he stared at the scene around him. “The battlefield…”

“So this is where the efforts of the Rebellion struggled against Homeworld.” Condor’s voice was a harsh crack in the sudden stillness. She placed her hand against the giant strawberries, running her fingers over its surface as if to memorize it. “I wouldn’t have thought that.”

A wisp of white drifted past my eyes before fading. I refocused on Mo, whose hair seemed to be spilling out behind him. The smoke was calm, simply existing in the breeze as it’s source studied his surroundings. I couldn’t see Mo’s face as he took one tentative step after the other. He was in a different world, a different time. I let the smoke graze my finger, catching a glimpse of his memories. Cracked ground and explosions that made my ears ring. Screams and the clashing of metal ringing in the air. A repeated day of fighting, struggling, resisting. I saw snatches of a war that I couldn’t understand, of pain and grief that I don’t know. Do the other Gems know what this feels like?

“We were here, thousands of years ago…” Mo said softly, slowly. “We fought every day against Homeworld. It was horrible. Everybody would lose hope each day as we struggled to gain ground. But we kept fighting because we knew that freedom would be worth it. We wanted to be free.”

I was stunned. My heart was aching as I heard the emptiness in Mo’s voice. A recollection that had lost meaning. A truth that didn’t hold the spark it once did. Worn down by thousands of years of fighting, and then thousands more of loneliness.

I wish I had been the one to answer first. That Mo would have comfort in his turmoil before anything else. But my voice was stalled. For an important second, I couldn’t find words. And then those that followed weren’t filled with understanding or sympathy. They weren’t from my mouth.

“And you thought you could have the same thing. Is that how it is?” Condor’s tone wasn’t harsh or condescending. It was clear, a firm certainty that felt unshakeable. A voice Mo had heard since he had first emerged. “You wanted to find a place here on this planet when all others had failed. You thought you finally fit in. After all, this was a world where supposedly anyone could be anything. Even if they didn’t know what that is.”

The smoke became unstable, the elegant stream breaking into quivering strands. Mo’s hands were grasping the opposite elbow. His head bowed.

I opened my mouth to say something against Condor, but she whipped out a small ax and threw it at me so casually that I was slow to react. I called up a barrier made of panels, but the weapon was too quick. It scraped against the top of my guard and struck me in the side of my head. My ears rang as stars exploded in my vision. I was on my knees, my head booming.

“‘This was different. I don’t have to become something I’m not anymore. I can fit in here. I found my place.’ Those must have been your thoughts when you got here. You felt at peace for the first time. But it wasn’t real.” Condor had gotten close to Mo, now she laid a hand on his shoulder. Mo couldn’t even flinch at the touch; he was enraptured by Condor's speech. “You could tell every time you were around. The other rebels would tense up at first before remembering you were on their side. They would be uneasy when your powers were active even if you didn’t have any malicious intent. No matter how much you tried to prove yourself, however much harm you put yourself in front of, you still couldn’t get close. There was a canyon between you and the others, and it was uncrossable. Just like before, you were alone.

“You’re one of a kind. A Gem that was never meant to exist at all. No matter how much power you could wield or how useful you tried to be, it was never right. You messed up, tried the wrong thing, or they simply didn’t trust you from the beginning. Your final hope, this Rebellion planet, still couldn’t accept you. I know that you must have suffered on your own.”

Mo was hugging himself, withdrawn in his protective shell, but his body was loose. It had given up on fighting, sagging under an invisible weight. It didn’t make sense when Condor pulled Mo’s back to her, wrapping him in her embrace. “You don’t have to be on your own now. No matter many times you were thrown out or slipped up, I was always there. I did everything I could to help you find your place no matter the result. It’s been thousands of years since you ran off, but I’m here now. Give me the chance, and I’ll help you keep finding where you’re supposed to be. I’ll be by your side again.”

The smoke was surrounding them, a half-formed cocoon around their bodies. Mo wasn’t resisting against Condor’s arms. He didn’t fight back. His smoke didn’t turn against the Agate as it drifted harmlessly around her. With a final motion, Mo’s arms fell. His Gem started to glow, his body enveloped in light. The Gem on Condor’s navel matched the light of Mo’s, her body becoming bright.

Realization crashed in too late. As their forms became one, I leaped forward, reaching out for Mo. I opened my mouth, pure desperation tearing out of my throat, “STOP!”

Their forms wove together seamlessly. Time seemed to still as they became a ball of light, their bodies absorbed into each other. The ball suddenly erupted, a blast of wind throwing me back. I skidded over the ground, coming to a halt in a squished bush. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the scene in front of me.

The merged light took a humanoid shape that towered over me, taller than Sardonyx and bulkier. The second pair of arms emerged from the midsection, flexing their wrists as they solidified. A mane of hair sprouted from the head, quickly wrapping itself around the top several times before the rest spilled out over the left side of a blank face like a veil. The light faded, revealing a pale brown figure with splashes of white running up their arms. Mo’s familiar tank top with the cutoff sides took shape, but it was now skin tight and had a faded insignia of the Four Diamond Authority in the center. Boots with high heels formed over their feet, grey tights covering their legs. The Gem at their naval had turned the same brown as their limbs, with splotches of white interspersed. The edge of Mo’s Gem that I could see was the same. Two eyes, one on top of the other, opened on the right side of their face. The irises were a reflective copper that caught the sunrise’s light much too well.

The fusion looked down at themself, momentarily stunned. Then they smiled. I could only see the right side of their face thanks to their hairstyle, but I couldn’t miss the row of razor-sharp teeth. The fusion stared down at me, cocking its head to one side. “I see you’re still here.”

Their voice wasn’t right. It was as if three people were talking, one voice unfamiliar while Condor’ and Mo’s overlapped behind it. Just being around them made my skin crawl. “Let him go.”

The fusion turned their head to the other side as they sneered. “Now who could you be referring to? We’re the only ones here. You must be confused. Didn’t you hit your head?”

“Don’t mess with me!” I yelled, anger rising in my chest. “You can’t do that! You can’t just manipulate someone into fusing! It isn’t right?”

“You really are confused. No one was manipulated. All that was said was the truth.” Their voice was almost sweet but a sarcastic underbite filled it with insincerity. “No strings were pulled. No one was persuaded. It was just the truth, every single word. It was Moissanite that agreed, even started it! How can that be manipulation?”

My fists were clenched at my side so tightly that they hurt. The blood was pounding in my ears. My body was screaming! “You played him! You know how to make him come undone! You poked and pulled so that Mo would fall apart! It’s horrible! You broke him down and pulled him in!” Even as my teeth ground together, I could feel the tears I was crying. “You aren’t helping him! You don’t get to do this to him!”

They sighed. The sneer slipped as irritation set in. “You talk to me as if I’m Condor. I’m not. I’m not her or Mo either. I’m Dolomite, and you don’t get to talk to me like I’m not. Mo is a part of me, but I’m me. If you have a problem, then I don’t want to hear.”

Dolomite’s upper right hand reached up over their head. For a moment, a cloud of Mo’s smoke spewed from the open palm. In the next, it whirled and became a ball of light. With an easy movement, Dolomite hurled the sphere at me.

I summoned a light barrier to shield myself. The sphere connected and sparks flew. The ball was halted, but then it exploded. A flash of light swallowed my vision momentarily and cleared just as quickly. My barrier had been broken to pieces, bits of smoke clinging to the shards and turning them grey.

A shadow fell over me. Dolomite spared me a glance before they whipped out their foot, kicking me in the gut and sending me flying. I clutched my middle as the pain was dulled by my healing ability. When it was done, I caught myself in the air and slowed my descent to almost none. I was high in the air, level with some of the floating platforms. I looked down, far below, as a flash caught my eye.

Each of Dolomite’s four hands was holding a sphere now. With a roar, they thrust their arms out. At the full extension, the balls burst into multiple jets of light that swerved and crossed each other without colliding. I summoned a panel below me and leaped to the side. A jet tore through my creation without resistance, the pink growing dull as it vanished. I threw out my power, creating more panels scattered in the air. I landed on one and hopped to the next, the previous one eradicated by a beam of light. The lights bent and squirmed, following me as I jumped from panel to panel. As I evaded, the lights began to dim and then went out completely.

Dolomite has Mo’s power to disrupt Gems’ powers, but Condor’s influence must be reshaping it, turning the smoke into a vicious weapon. Still, it isn’t connected to Dolomite once it leaves their hands. It expires, unlike Mo’s smoke.

I can’t summon my shield. If I do, Dolomite could steal it and use it on their own. I have to stick with my other powers.

I summoned one more panel, angling it towards the fusion. I pushed off and rocketed towards Dolomite. I summoned my bubble around me as I sped towards them. The attack was predictable, easily dodged. Dolomite moved backward as I came close, expecting me to plummet into the ground. When I was near, I threw out my arms, my bubble expanding in size multiple times over. It caught Dolomite and threw them off their feet.

I popped the bubble and summoned another panel that was almost perpendicular to the ground. I pushed off again, my aim clear. My pink encased fist landed a solid blow to Dolomite’s torso, earning me a grunt as they were launched farther. I have to keep pressing!

I summoned another volley of panels in a loose dome around them. Before their feet could reach the ground, I felt time slow. Their body was moving in the air as if through molasses. The breeze had come to a halt. I was speeding up and wouldn’t let it go to waste. I rocketed from one panel to the next, striking Dolomite’s body wherever I could along the way. I changed direction on a dime, not wasting a single extended moment. Dolomite’s body was slow to shift as each blow landed.

Their body was starting to glow, but I couldn’t focus on that! I have to keep pummeling until they come apart! Don’t give them a moment to recover! I landed dozens of hits, then more and more! As I came around again, the glow around their body dispersed outwards like a ripple in the water. Even though it was slowed, I passed right through it. I gasped as the power I had was suddenly wrenched out of my body. I slowed down. The light spread out and met my panels, shattering them on contact.

I crashed into the ground at the same time Dolomite landed on their back. My shoulder was aching from the impact, but I licked a finger and pressed it against my skin. The pain immediately faded. I heard Dolomite stir, so I quickly got to my feet. I reached for my powers and felt them come back right away. It was a temporary disruption, thankfully.

Dolomite got to a kneeling position before they looked at me. Their right eyes were wide in anger. The upper right and lower left arms reached for the Gems at their shoulder and naval, respectively. They drew back holding a pair of Condor’s axes, enlarged to fit Dolomite’s size. Quick as a bolt, they rushed me.

I leaped free of their first slash and backtracked, summoning a wall of panels, hoping to block the attack and throw them off balance. The ax sliced through the barrier, only coming to halt until almost halfway through. Coils of grey leached into the pink, making the wall disintegrate.

They brought their right arm up high, the ax catching the sunlight. Right as it fell, I jumped back as hard as I could. Their attack missed me by a mile, but Dolomite smirked.

A flash in the corner of my vision drew my attention. One of Dolomite’s free hands was holding an orb of light. The ax was a feint!

I was still hovering in the air. I didn’t have time to summon a panel! The orb exploded and jets of light shot at me! They swallowed me one after the other, each one making my skin feel like it was catching fire! My powers were yanked away and, now unable to stay airborne, I dropped.

Dolomite’s knee rammed me on the way down and knocked me back in the air. Two of their arms were spread wide then came together, trying to squish me between their palms. Desperately, I reached for my powers. For the slightest moment, I felt nothing. A hollow space where my abilities once were. Then, a rush of familiar warmth. I threw up a bubble barely larger enough to contain me. Dolomite’s hands came together, the force of the impacts rattling inside the bubble. I could see their hands grip harder against my bubble, their limbs tinted pink through the smooth surface.

Then the world exploded.

The pink was engulfed in a wave of white, so pure and brilliant that it swallowed everything. I couldn’t see! I screamed as the light clawed at my body, trying to tear me apart! No matter what I tried to do, my powers were yanked far away from me!

When it faded, my vision was a mess of spots that were almost as impairing as the light. Sweat made the hair stick to my forehead. My lungs felt close to bursting.

Dolomite’s grip tightened around me. They pulled their arm back and flung me across the battlefield. I hit the ground hard, skipping against rocks and plants until I finally crashed against something solid with a crunch. I fell to the ground, my body screaming in agony. Every part of me felt like it had been seared and dragged behind a car. I licked my hand and pressed it against where the pain was greatest. Slowly, the ache started to ebb and cease. I caught my breath and got to a kneeling position. My body was starting to recover but it was getting harder to keep going.

A sudden thought shot into my head. Had I ever faced someone this strong on my own? I poofed Corrupted Gems on my own, but not at this level. I had the help of the Crystal Gems when we faced White Diamond, the might of us combined as Obsidian doing the actual fighting. I’d beaten Jasper, but even she wasn’t this strong. I’m in a league I have never faced before.

No, I can’t think of it like that. This shouldn’t be a fight! I’m trying to help Mo! Focus! This is about Mo!

...Mo…

Another flash drew me back. Dolomite was holding another orb and was preparing to hurl it. I tried to stand but stumbled. I reached out trying to catch myself. My hand found something behind and I caught myself. The surface was slick, unnaturally smooth. And tough. The thing I slammed into when Dolomite threw me! I turned to see what it was. Peeking out from a strawberry plant, a flat object caught the sunrise with a metallic gleam.

Dolomite fired. I grabbed the object, hoping that I guessed what it was right, and pulled it free. It was a relief to see that I was right! I held the shield in front of me and braced myself for impact. I felt the force of the jets slam into a shield. I pushed back, not letting myself give an inch. The pushing eventually stopped, so I lowered the round shield. It was larger than my own and much heavier, but I couldn’t be happier that I had stumbled upon it. At least now I had a familiar weapon with me that couldn’t be stolen.

I heard Dolomite snarl as they drew two more axes from their gems. They tore across the former battlefield, closing the distance between us in little time. I adjusted my grip on the shield and had a thought that probably saved me. Even though this was probably forged by Bismuth, I had little hope that it would stand much of a chance against the weapon of a Gem like Dolomite, especially after multiple blows. I had a weapon but it wasn’t enough.

Any chance I had at playing defense was gone. I have to go on the offensive again.

Instead of retreating when Dolomite slashed again, I crouched and swung my shield up. The ax rang against the old shield, but it was enough to deflect the attack over my head. Dolomite fell forward, their weight thrown off. They found their footing fast, but I had the chance.

I rushed forward and slammed the shield against the back of Dolomite’s knees. Their leg bent and they were kneeling now. They tried to smash me with an empty hand, but I sidestepped. I braced my legs and pushed off, jumping right towards the fusion’s face. I put all the force I could into my swing, a scream spilling out as I bash the shield into Dolomite’s face.

They sway but don’t go down. I land a bit away from them and look down at the shield. A large section had been sheared off the surface, making the weight distribution lopsided. It wouldn’t take another hit. Dolomite shakes their head and growls at me. The shield now damaged, I pull it back, adjust for the uneven weight, and hurl it at the fusion. My aim is off, and it would have hit their collar instead of their head if they hadn’t snatched it out of the air. Dolomite’s sharp teeth were bared as they inspected the damaged shield, but their expression quickly wavered. It was a look of surprise, and they let their body relax. Wisps of smoke started to drift off their limbs.

“Tiger’s Eye’s shield…” They murmured as if in a trance.

Tiger’s Eye? Oh! That’s one of the Rebellion Gems that we uncorrupted! That must be her’s. A flicker of hope flared in my chest. Dolomite isn’t acting right. That has to be Mo! Dolomite isn’t as whole as they seem!

The moment passed as quickly as it had started. Dolomite threw the shield aside and swiped low, trying to cut me down. I leaped up and floated so that I was eye level. Now or never...

“Mo, listen to me!” I yelled as I evaded another ax. “You have to stop! I know you don’t want this!”

Dolomite swatted me away with one of their empty hands. I landed on my feet, skidding a bit before coming to a halt. Dolomite snarled, a hand tearing bushes and crushing several strawberries. “Shut up! I told you, I’m not Mo! I’m Dolomite! Talk to me like I’m me! Not someone else!”

Another sphere in their hand! More jets of light wriggling through the air! I constructed more panels, forming layer upon layer of walls. The lights collided with my barrier. I felt it eat through, tearing my power to pieces. I summoned more and more, pushing back until the light could fade. It was almost done until the remaining, fleeting lights came together into another jet and punched through the remaining panels. It crashed over me, erasing my powers and making skin scream. It passed over, and I fell to my knee. Dolomite was panting, yet their eyes hadn’t lost their luster.

My powers were already back, but I need a different approach. One that I relied on time and time again. “Mo, please. Listen to me! You don’t need to listen to her! You have us! Let us help you!”

“ENOUGH!” Dolomite roared. “He’s not here to listen to you! He’s me! She’s me! I’m me! Stop talking to me as if I don’t exist!”

I was too slow. The flat of Dolomite’s palm slammed into me and threw me upwards. When I was airborne, another spiked me like a volleyball. I crashed into a strawberry bush, now covered in sticky juice as my body groaned. I bit my lip, trying to force my saliva to heal me.

It wasn’t fast enough. Dolomite bounced high into the air, combining their two axes into one of massive proportions. As they fell, Dolomite brought their ax down, aiming to cleave me in two.

The world spun. Suddenly I was racing towards the sky, the stars fading as orange overcame a nightly purple. Dolomite was below, looking up as I sped higher. I didn’t know what was happening until I heard a voice.

“Steven! Are you okay?”

Relief like never before rushed through me. “I’m okay. Thanks, Lapis.”

The blue gem had saved me at the last second, scooping me up and flying high out of Dolomite’s reach. “How did you find us?” I asked as the adrenaline made my head rush.

“When you guys warped, we all split up to track you down. There are so many Warp Pads across Earth that we couldn’t all look as one group. I just found you first.” Lapis explained as she evened out. She circled Dolomite down below, keeping an eye on the fusion. “Is that…”

“It’s Mo and Condor,” I told her. “But it’s not Mo’s fault! Condor said all this stuff because she knew it would break Mo! She made Mo feel worthless, that she was the only one Mo could depend on, and then she convinced him to fuse!”

Lapis had gone silent. We continued to circle, Dolomite watching us carefully. I was growing worried. “Lapis, please. This isn’t Mo’s fault.”

“Is Mo fighting back?” She said calmly.

“Yes!” I answered right back. “I know Mo’s fighting! I can hear it! Trust me, Lapis!”

Lapis nodded, her eyes lost in the distance for a second. “No one should have to go through that. I won't let it happen.”

I didn’t have to ask what she meant. She’s remembering. She’s remembering Malachite. An unstable, ravenous fusion between her and Jasper. She did it to save us, but Lapis put herself in a prison. It was a violent fusion between themselves, unhealthy and chaotic. Nothing but spite and determination held that fusion together. Lapis doesn’t want someone else to suffer like that. But it’s not only sympathy.

It’s guilt.

In that fusion, Lapis was the one that took her anger out on Jasper. She wasn’t selfless in the endeavor. Lapis caused her share of pain and anguish for Jasper. She’s worked hard to become someone else, someone that doesn’t lash out aimlessly and hurt others.

“Lapis…”

“I’m okay Steven.” She looked down at me, her eyes sad even as she smiled. “Let’s save Mo.”

I just nodded, knowing that we had each other in this. “Okay. Let’s go!”


	17. What To Say

I saw a flash below and immediately yelled: "Look out!"

Lapis swerved just in time, narrowly avoiding a jet of Dolomite's light. As several more sped towards us, Lapis dove, weaving through the attacks with ease. When we got beneath the attack, Lapis looked up as the lights began to change course. "What are those things?"

"It's like Mo's smoke," I told her, dangling from her arms. "If one of those gets you, your powers will get disabled. And they mess up anything Gem like just by touching it. My barriers were broken easily by them."

"Got it. Don't let them get near me or my wings." Lapis veered sharply to the right as the jets finally fell on us after changing trajectory. As the rest followed, Lapis let out a huff. "Do they ever stop?"

"They'll go away soon. They don't last away from Dolomite's body."

I heard a roar from below. Looking down, I saw three more spheres ignite in Dolomite's hands. She threw them, and the orbs unraveled into more jets that were aimed right at us.

"Lapis, from below!"

Lapis looked down, saw the lights, and dispersed her wings. We plummeted, nothing holding us in the air as the wind tore at my face. I instantly tried to bring my slowing-descent power, but Lapis said: "Trust me." I let us fall. The ground got closer. Closer. Closer! When it got so close that I could see the smallest strawberries on the bushes, Lapis resummoned her wing and changed our course drastically. We were speeding just over the field, the leaves skimming my sandals. The jets couldn't turn in time, crashing into the plants in a shower of sparks and smoke.

Lapis looked down at me, her eyes shining but face tense. "See, what did I say?"

"I'll never doubt you again."

She was about to reply when a shadow fell over us. Dolomite had leaped high, falling directly on top of us. Lapis tried to veer away and up, but as Dolomite's feet hit the dirt, she lashed out with one of her hands. There was no time to lift me high enough out of the way, so Lapis dropped me, the hand brushing the top of my curls. I landed with a gasp at the impact as Lapis continued up. Dolomite was faster, their reflexes predicting her path effortlessly. They snared Lapis's leg before she was out of reach. They turned, their body bunched like a coil. With a mighty grunt, they chucked Lapis through the air!

Her body flailed out of control as she sailed. Before she could right herself, Lapis crashed through one of the floating platforms. It broke to pieces as Lapis came out the other side. She was starting to fall, but her wings flared out and lifted her again.

I'd been distracted by Lapis's situation that I lost track of my own. Dolomite's foot was coming right at me! I put up my bubble right before the kick hit me. I was launched, the bubble kicked clear off the ground with dizzying speed. It hit the ground and bounced several times before it came to a roll. The entire time, I kept my eyes closed to keep myself from getting sick. When it finally stopped, I dropped the bubble and stumbled to my knees, my head spinning.

A massive weight fell onto my back, pressing me hard against the ground. I tried to draw a full breath but my lungs were constricted under the weight. I managed to turn my head up, seeing Dolomite's head against the brightening sky.

They were smiling, razor teeth catching the light. "Well, isn't this fun. A little mouse under my foot." They pressed down harder with their foot, my chest feeling like it was going to explode. "Comfortable down there? I don't think so. You put up a good effort but it's over now."

I lifted my head as high as I could. I tried to speak, but I couldn't get enough air.

"What was that now? Trying to say something?" Dolomite leaned over, transitioning her weight to her other foot so that I could draw in more air. "Say it again."

I took a deep breath, the relief flooding my chest. I meet Dolomite eyes and finally managed to say "Let him go."

Dolomite smile slipped. Their face became blank, eyes unfocused. "Why don't you just let it go? Hasn't it been made clear to you that I'm not coming apart? Mo made his choice. I'm finally here now, so stop asking for someone that doesn't exist anymore." Dolomite shook their head, the snarl returning. "Just shut your mouth!"

A blur shot by their head, making the large fusion look up. Lapis swerved back, flying around them as their many hands swatted at her. When Lapis slipped by again, Dolomite growled. "Is all you can do annoy me? You're a little gnat!"

Lapis made another turn, coming to hover just in front of Dolomite's face. "You might want to watch what you say." Dolomite raised their hands to squash Lapis. At the last second, Lapis moved up so that her feet were above Dolomite's colliding palms. She landed on their hands, her wings swirling like vortexes. "I have a farm. I've learned that pretty much anything can bite back." Her water wings had changed shape, becoming fists larger than her body. One slammed right into Dolomite's nose, knocking them back. The next moved with a rising curve, connecting squarely with their jaw. Dolomite's head snapped back from the blow, their body falling from the surprise punches. Returning to their original shape, Lapis's wings lifted her off before the fusion fell over.

Dolomite's foot came off me, and I scrambled out as quickly as I could. The fusion's back hit the ground with a crash, squishing several strawberry bushes beneath them.

Lapis landed next to me, her wings retreating. "You okay?"

"Th-thanks for... saving me," I struggled to say as I tried to restore the breath to my lungs.

"Any day." Lapis's eyes returned to Dolomite as they started to rise again. She grabbed me around my waist and lifted me into the air again, out of harm for the moment. "I don't think just trying to hit them is going to work. They're tough."

"Yeah, and we can't hit them with all we got anyway," I said, worry eating at me. "They disable my powers whenever I use them, and I don't see a body of water close to us."

"Not quite. Look over there." She nodded off to the east. I squinted, trying to see what she saw. Something caught the sunlight and reflected an orange surface within the greenery of the field. "There's a good-sized pond not too far away. But I can't just pick it up and bring it over. If Dolomite hits me, I'll drop it and won't have time to collect it again before they strike back. We have to get them into the pond itself. At least then I'll have a better chance of holding them down."

I tried to gauge the distance from Dolomite and the pond. I'm not the best at distances, but I'd say it was over a mile. "Could we just lead them over?"

"That won't be possible. And that's why!" She suddenly sped up as a jet off light narrowly missed us. Now there was more than ever, dozens trying to catch us and bring Lapis down. She was trying the best she could to keep us out of them, but it was growing harder. I felt my feet pass through a few that got to close, making my legs grow weak for a few moments. She kept apologizing, but I told her that it was more important for her to protect herself over me. Lapis is right; Dolomite won't follow us when they can just use their lights.

Their lights…

As the barrage faded, I took a close look as Dolomite let loose another wave of jets. Four spheres, one in each hand. If they aren't hitting us, why not summon more? It doesn't make sense, unless…

"Lapis, they have a limit!"

Lapis avoided another light before calling down, "What limit?"

"The lights! They can only make a certain number at a time! That's how we get them!" I flinched as my lower half got caught in a jet of light. "If they use all of them to try and get you, I'll lead them on the ground!"

"Good one, Steven! But they're not dumb! They wouldn't just get close to the water with a Lapis Lazuli around!"

"Right," I admitted, my hope for the plan sizzling. "We have to knock them in without letting them know what's happening."

Lapis made a few more head rolling maneuvers to avoid the lights, my eyes hopelessly trying to keep up. When they faded again, giving us a moment, Lapis's grip on me tightened. "Or we could drop them in the pond! I have an idea!"

Lapis told me the plan quickly before the next wave of lights came at us. With a hasty nod to each other, she turned and shot straight at Dolomite. We were still several stories in the air, but Lapis threw me at the fusion before flying back up, the lights following her. I was falling straight at Dolomite, their eyes widening as they saw me incoming. I surrounded myself in the pink glow, feeling the power course through my body. Dolomite summoned an ax, pulling it out and holding it flat between me and them. I summoned my shield and crashed against their weapon. The force of the impact shook through my body, sending a gust of through the now rustling bushes.

Dolomite swung their weapon and pushed me away. I landed lightly on my feet, letting my shield disperse to be safe. I locked eyes with Dolomite once more, the taller Gem's eyes narrowing.

Time to start.

"Mo, I know you can hear me," I yelled putting as much comfort I could into my voice. "I know you don't want to hurt anyone. Please, you can stop this right now."

"Ugh, enough already!" Dolomite yelled, gnashing their teeth. "How many times do I have to tell you? I'm Dolomite! Dolomite!"

I ignored them, pressing on. "I know what you're feeling right now! I know that you're hurting, that you don't know what you're supposed to be! I know what that feels like!"

"Shut up!" Dolomite swung their ax. I leaped clear of the swing, landing farther back than necessary. "I'm not those people anymore!"

"This isn't you!" I yelled, trying to reach him. "I can't imagine how painful it must be to hear that again! I know that you think that this will solve things, that Condor can fix this for you, but she can't! She can't do that, Mo!"

Dolomite roared, hurling her ax at me. I summoned a bubble, letting the impact of the attack send me flying just like before. I let the bubble go and landed on my feet. Dolomite took two steps towards me before Lapis swooped down and struck them on the back of the head with her water fists. Dolomite swung at her, but Lapis was already gone. They summoned their spheres of light and hurled everything at Lapis again. Then they turned back to me.

"I'm tired off hearing you talk!" They summoned four more axes, one for each hand. They charged, swiping at me with an onslaught of giant blades. I evaded to my best, continuing to retreat to keep Dolomite following me. Between slashes, they would bark at me. "I'm sick of hearing what you all think! This is what we are now, and that's that!" Slash. "This is the easiest it's been in forever! Everything is working out on its own!" An ax comes too close and slices the front of my shirt. "Why should I care what you think? Your opinion of me doesn't matter!" They raised all four weapons and swung them down simultaneously.

I leap back as high as I could, feeling the breeze that the axes stirred. They hit the ground and it broke into craters beneath them. I timed my decent so that I would land on a floating platform, above Dolomite's head. I kept my eyes on them as they lifted their axes again.

"Mo, I don't know if you're this angry or if the fusion is affecting your emotions, but I can tell it hurts. You don't have to be someone you aren't anymore. I don't want to know any version of you except for the real one. I know it's easier to give up, to throw everything away and just become a monster, but it's not a solution. All you end up becoming is something you don't want to be."

The axes vanished. Dolomite clutched their head, doubling over as if in pain. Their form flickered, became unstable. Their lower arms wrapped around themself, a motion so ingrained in Mo that my hopes soared.

"That's it! That's it, Mo!" My toes were at the edge of the platform, almost dangling in the air. "I know that everything is a mess right now, but I promise we can fix it. Garnet wants to see you again and sort this all out. She doesn't think that you betray them anymore."

"She.. she doesn't?'

My heart pounded against my chest. Dolomite's voice had changed! The overlapping voices had shifted: Condor's and the third becoming quiet as Mo's came to the forefront. "Yes! We can work this out! We know my mom lied! She must have done something awful, and I'm sorry that she hurt you so badly! Rose hurt a lot of people, but we can get through it together!"

"Rose… hurt… me…"

"That's right! And no one blames you for that!"

"That's… not right…"

A cold feeling started to grow in my gut. "What?"

Dolomite was starting to shake, her form no longer flickering. "I don't… She didn't…"

"Mo, please!" I'm losing him! "Tell me what happened!"

Dolomite raised their head, their right eyes wet with tears. "I'm not… I don't blame her…"

The numb feeling started to grow, branching out in my veins. "That can't be right. Mo, whatever she did, it was her fault! You have a right to be mad at Rose or Pink or whoever she was! I am! Pearl is! Bismuth definitely is! You can tell me! Tell me that you're mad!"

"I messed up again…"

"What?"

The shaking had stopped. Dolomite's arms were hanging limb at their sides. The tears weren't flowing, and their face had gone slack. Mo's voice was becoming weak. "I can't… be that… I can't be what you need me to be. I messed up again…"

"Mo, no!" I realized my mistake. I told Mo to be angry, to be like me. I told him to be someone else. "I didn't mean it like that! Mo, I'm sorry."

"I'm tired of screwing up, Steven."

"You didn't mess up! This is my mistake!" I could hear the frantic tone in my voice. I couldn't take my words back!

"I've tried… for so long…" Mo's voice was almost gone, drained and heavy. "I keep… messing up. I'm really… tired…" Dolomite's head fell.

"Mo? Mo!"

Dolomite sudden threw their head back and roared! They let loose their jets of light that streaked across the sky, hunting for Lapis. Then they focused on me, panting heavily. "I told you. I told you that's not me anymore!" The overlapping voices were back, but Mo's was barely distinguishable among the others. "And I told you to shut up!"

They snarled as they launched themself at the platform. I leaped up to a higher one as they landed on the spot I had just been. The platform was barely able to hold someone of their size. I turned and started jumping up each platform.

"Get back here!" Dolomite screamed. I looked back and saw them following my steps, going from one platform to the next. The higher we got, the larger the platform was and the easier it was for them to distribute their bulk.

We were far off the ground now, the drop almost nauseating. I climbed higher and higher, Dolomite close behind. Finally, I saw the last platform in sight, easily larger enough to hold Dolomite but not too large. I landed in the middle of the levitating island, waiting.

"Nowhere to run now!" Dolomite yelled as they leaped from the previous platform. Before they could crush me, I jumped back over to the last platform, the fusion sailing over me. Dolomite turned, stumbling from the sudden shift in their momentum.

I couldn't waste a moment now! I drew as much power as I could from my gem, feeling the pink glow seep deeper into me. I took a running start and launched myself at the side of the final platform. I put everything I had into a punch, striking the floating island. Dolomite gasped as their support swayed. For a second, I thought that the plan had failed. Then, the resistance gave out and the platform was free of whatever force was keeping it anchored in place. It shot out from the force of my punch, the mass carting Dolomite on top of it.

The brief resistance allowed me to grab a vine at the last moment, getting me carried along before I was left behind. The island spun as it bound through the air. I could feel it shake as Dolomite tried to keep their balance on top. When it stopped, I looked down, grinned, and pulled myself back up.

Dolomite was shakily standing up, wary of the unrestrained earth beneath them. "What did you do?"

That punch and following world spinning ride left me breathless. Still, I manage to say, "Exactly what I needed to do."

Dolomite was puzzled, but they didn't have time to figure it out. A tendril of water shot over the island and engulfed Dolomite's upper-left wrist. It reshaped and solidified into a shackle. "What-" was all they could manage before they were yanked off the island. I peeked over the side, watching as they fell and splash down into the pond underneath.

The plan had worked!

I stepped off the mass and floated down to the ground, my sandals touching mud at the edge of the pond. Dolomite surfaced, thrashing as they shook the water off of themself. They saw me and tried to swim my way, but the current swept them back to the center of the pond. The entire body of water started to swirl, trapping Dolomite in the middle of a whirlpool. Chains of water whipped out and ensnared each of their limbs, holding them underwater as the vortex held them at the surface.

Dolomite howled, and bright flashes appeared in the water around them. The rapids faltered, but they quickly whirled back up to sped a moment later.

"I think we've got them." Lapis landed beside me, her arms outstretched to maintain Dolomite's restraints. "They're fighting, but they can't do much stuck in the water. There's too much for them to affect at once." When I didn't respond, she asked: "Are you alright?"

I filled her in about what happened before I led Dolomite up the floating islands. "I said the wrong thing. I hurt Mo instead of helping him. What am I suppose to say to make this right?"

She couldn't let her arms fall, but I'm sure Lapis would have put a hand on my shoulder if she could. "Steven, it was an accident. You were trying to help the best way you know how. And that doesn't always work. Remember that I ran off my share of times before coming back?"

"You didn't run off that much."

"I did steal the Barn and left you on the moon."

"I'd almost forgotten about that."

"That reassuring. What I'm trying to say is that you have another chance right now." As if to emphasize her point, Dolomite started roaring again. "He's got someone else in his head right now, putting down whatever you say. And Mo… Mo's punishing himself. We both know what that's like."

"Yeah… I guess we do."

"Steven, I can't give you the perfect words to say right now. I don't think there are any. Just do what you do until Mo hears you." Lapis smiled, a sight that still surprises me sometimes. "I know better than anyone that it takes time to move past trauma and reinvent yourself into who you want to be. I was only able to do that because I had you and Peridot beside me. Mo's been alone. Talk to him like you would talk to me the day we went out on the boat, or even on the moon. Let him know… just let him know that he has people that love him no matter what. And if that doesn't work, then I'm here to support you."

It was so rare to hear her talk like this. It felt like my heart would burst. "Lapis…" I hugged her, tears coming to my eyes. "Thank you."

"Come on. You know I'll always help you like you'll always do for me." She tried to hug the top of my head with her elbow, which was awkward, but it was perfect. "You ready?"

I wiped my eyes and nodded. "Yeah."

The water directly in front of us became still, a small patch of calm in the chaotic rapids. I stepped on it, my body supported without a waver. I took a step and the tile lengthened to keep me up. I walked over the water, completely dry and safe from the vortex until I was in front of Dolomite. Everything below their neck was submerged, but they continued to struggle fruitlessly. When they noticed me, Dolomite bared their teeth and roared in my face. I didn't flinch.

I took a breath and tried again. "Mo, I know I messed up. I didn't mean to tell you to be like me."

"I told I'm-" Dolomite's body suddenly dipped, their mouth going beneath the water. I looked back at Lapis, who only shrugged. I decided to let it be. Dolomite's eyes alone seemed to be trying to fill me with daggers.

"I don't know what happened, Mo. I don't why you think this is your fault when it's not. I don't know why you don't blame my mom when it seems to me that she's at fault. I don't know what I'm supposed to say to fix all of this. When I try, I realize that I don't know enough about you or what you feel. You keep everything bottled up and keep it to yourself, shutting us out to make sure we're okay. Don't you know that Bismuth would bust down doors and warships if it would mean that you were okay? Do you know how much Garnet struggled with the past and wants to start over? I'm sure that Peridot is missing her friend and has already cooked up a million new theories for you to hear. Amethyst would love for you to take her out to restaurants all over the world and try all the food you got to eat. My dad would want to hear you play the drums. And I have this friend, well, more than a friend, named Connie who would gush over all the stories you have of Earth and the time you spent here. I can't say this too loud, but I'm sure Lapis misses having around the Barn.

"What I'm saying is that no matter what you think you did wrong, we're here. We want to mend bridges and try to set things right. If you hate yourself so much, then know some people would love you so much. If you want to cry, then we'll cry with you. If you want to laugh, then we'll laugh with you. If you're hurting, then we'll be there to help. You don't have to be anyone else because we want you just the way you are." Dolomite's eyes were softening. Their limbs weren't thrashing. I pressed myself against the side of their face, trying to hug them while they were restrained. "I kept parts of me that I didn't like bottled inside. I pushed everyone away because I didn't want to burden them. I became a monster because I didn't know how to accept their help. I don't want that for you.

"Mo, we're all here for you, regardless of what you think of yourself."

I felt something soak my head. I looked up and saw tears running down Dolomite's face. Their body began to glow, their body coming undone. I realized I was crying again, but I couldn't help the smile on my face. I reached him.

That's when things went wrong.

Suddenly, their body swelled. It came back together with frightening intensity. The glowing figure squirmed, their limbs expanding and contracting under the water. Their face resurfaced, an earsplitting screech passing from their mouth. With another pulse of their body, a hand broke free from the vortex and chains, a ball of light in its palm.

Dread plummeted in my gut. I turned and yelled "Lapis!" right as the ball was thrown at her. She was so focused on holding Dolomite that she Lapis didn't have time to dodge. The light swallowed her and faded. Lapis dropped as the water stilled. My bridge was gone, and I fell right into the pond. My vision was briefly filled with water before I surfaced.

The pond was thrown into a frenzy as Dolomite struggled with themself. Arms grew and shortened, grappling with the others without any sign of reason. I tried to swim to them, but I kept getting swept away by the waves they stirred. Dolomite was banging their head against the shore, their voices rising and falling in a cacophony of madness.

**"I'm not coming undone!"**

_"I don't want this anymore!"_

**"It doesn't matter what you want!"**

_"I want out of this!"_

_"I want to go back!"_

**"You don't deserve to go back!"**

_"They want me back!"_

**"And they'll throw you out again!"**

_"I want to change!"_

**"You always change for them!"**

_"I changed for you!"_

**"I was helping you!"**

_"I don't want any of this!"_

**"You don't deserve them!"**

_"I know that!"_

**"You're still fighting!"**

_"I want you gone!"_

**"I know you better than anyone!"**

_"There's no one to know!"_

**"I told you that you exist for a reason!"**

_"There's no reason!"_

**"Enough of your ceaseless struggling!"**

_"They don't deserve this!"_

**"Stop resisting!"**

_"I want out!"_

**"We're staying together!"**

_"I'm messing up again!"_

**"What are you doing?"**

_"Why can't I do this right?"_

**"I told you to stop!"**

_"I want out!"_

**"Enough!"**

_"I want out! I want out!"_

**"This is pointless!"**

_"I want out!"_

_"LET ME GO!"_

**"I'M NOT LETTING GO!"**

_"I DON'T WANT THIS ANYMORE! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!"_

Dolomite reached for the gem at their naval with their lower right hand. The Gem glowed and materialized an ax in their hand. The ax was rapidly shifting between sizes, growing larger and then becoming much smaller, and wavering between solid form and dissipating. In a rush, it took a solid shape and form. The hand drew back, preparing to swing.

I saw what was coming. Mo was fighting, but he wasn't in control. He's doing everything he can to break out. That ax... he summoned it. The way it's angled, that's not aimed at me. The blade is poised to themself, at their shoulder. It would hit…

Mo's gem…

"STOP!" I struggled to reach them, but the waves they stirred pushed me away. The ax was swung. The blade was about to hit Mo's gem-

A tower of water sprouted underneath Dolomite, lifting them clear of the pond. The ax was knocked out of their hand and splashed into the water, sinking before vanishing. The geyser opened up into a hand. It grabbed Dolomite tightly, the chaotic Fusion screaming.

The pond erupted, throwing me out of the water and onto the surrounding grass. The water was thrashing, worked into such a frenzy that it crashed against the earth and frothed. A second geyser, several times larger than the one holding Dolomite, surged from the rapids. When it peaked, I saw a winged figure standing on top. Lapis raised a hand over her head, the pond reacting by reaching up and swirling around her.

Dolomite howled so loudly that I had to cover my ears. Their form was becoming a nightmare. They had lost all coloration, becoming a humanoid mass of ferocious light. Their limbs broke apart and collided back together, or became shapes that I couldn't identify. Their mouth became a maw filled with tusks and fangs. They roared again, their mouth opened so wide that their head seemed to be splitting.

The water formed an airborne vortex above Lapis's head, several times larger than her. Lights exploded around Dolomite's restraint, the fist starting to break apart into droplets. Lapis raised her other hand. The vortex collapsed and elongated, becoming a swirling spear of water. Dolomite thrashed one more time. The fist fell apart, leaving them free once more.

Lapis threw her hand at the struggling fusion.

The spear shot through the air.

Dolomite roared for the last time.

The spear punched right through Dolomite's chest. The fusion's screams were strangled into a whimper. Their limbs stilled and the morphing ceased. The light faded, once more becoming a whole Dolomite. For the first time, I saw the left side of their face as their veil of hair was parted. Tears ran down their check. Their eyes were wide from shock. Then, slowly, as if time was coming to a halt, they began to close. The fusion let out a sigh as their body came undone, their form poofing like any other Gem.


	18. Overwhelming

Two figures fell from the sky, crashing into the shallows. I tore across the edge of the pond, skidding to a halt as I approached Mo. I knelt beside him, assessing the Gem on his shoulder for any damage. It was intact.

Lapis landed beside me, her display of power vanishing as the pond returned to a calm state. "I'm sorry if that was too much. I didn't know what else to do."

"You did the right thing," I reassured her. "Mo was going to get hurt and that was probably the best way to save him. At least they're apart. How's Condor?"

We looked over at the Agate a few yards away. She was face down in the water, her form still. "I think that fusion drained her," Lapis said. "After Malachite, I was out for a while. She should be down, especially since she was in control most of the time."

"That's good."

Mo groaned. Lapis kneeled beside me, watching as Mo slowly opened his eyes. He watched the sky for a bit, squinting as his eyes came into focus. He tentatively moved his gaze one way, then the other, landing on us. He blinked a few times until something seemed to click. He frowned. "Is it… over?"

I patted his shoulder and smiled with relief. "It's over. Lapis split you two up. You're free."

"Condor?" He mumbled.

Lapis took the turn to say "She's knocked out. Don't worry about her."

"And you two?"

"Fit as fiddles," I replied. "Everyone's okay."

"That's good." Mo sat up, grimacing as he moved. He drew his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. "I really screwed up this time. I'm so sorry."

I started to speak but was cut off when Lapis placed her hands on his head, making him look her right in the eye. "You're okay. That's what's important. It's okay if Condor got to you as long as you realize that it was a mistake. We all make mistakes, and some people take advantage of that. You were weak and Condor used that against you. Neither of us blames you as long as you're safe. That's all that matters."

Mo stared at Lapis with wide eyes as the ocean Gem spoke. When she was done, Lapis withdrew her hands and Mo looked down. His body started shaking as he cried. "I'm sorry. Every time I see her, she makes me feel horrible. I feel useless. She says that she'll fix me and I want to believe her. I know it's wrong. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

We wrapped Mo in a hug, letting him rest his head against our shoulders as he let everything spill out. The sun finally started to climb higher in the sky, burning away the dawn that had been a rush of fighting and screams. Mo pulled away, his tears spent. I sat by him as Lapis walked away to secure Condor in water restraints. Mo's breathing was still shaky, but he seemed a lot better than before. I was finding the sudden calm a welcomed gift after that start to the day. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Are you still mad?"

I opened my eyes and looked over at Mo. He had pulled in his knees again and kept his gaze on the pond's surface. "Mo, we aren't mad at you."

He shook his head. "Not at me. At your mom. Rose."

"Oh." I turned away, suddenly at a loss for words. "Why are you asking?"

"You said I had a right to be mad at her. That I should be mad at her." Mo's hand strayed to the ground, drawing a line absently in the mud. "You said everyone is mad at her. Was she… Do you believe she was a bad person?"

"It's complicated."

"I see."

The thought of my mom was already messing with my head, making me playback the past few years, and everything I learned about her. It made my chest ache. "I thought… at first, that she was a good person. The Gems and my dad loved her and said she was incredible. That she was loving and caring and the kindest person there ever was to walk the Earth. Then I found out she lied to everyone and bubbled Bismuth without telling anyone. She kept secrets. She hurt people. And she… lied about who she was. That she was-"

"Pink Diamond. I've known for a long time."

My tongue froze. Mo kept digging in the mud after he interrupted me. He already knew. "How did you…"

"I figured it out when I joined the Rebellion. I knew Pink pretty well."

I was going to ask how, but then the last few hours rewound in my head. I remembered how Garnet and I went to see White Diamond only a short while ago. About how she told us that my mom was curious about Mo and kept a close eye on him. That my mom would play games with Mo as she had with Spinel. "So you knew. Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Rose asked me not to tell. I trusted her, so I didn't."

I guess that makes sense. "Okay. Well, Pearl was the one to tell us. It was… hard… for awhile. Garnet came undone and the Crystal Gems were split up with a bit. We sorted everything out in the end."

"Can I see?"

"See...what?"

Mo lifted his hand from the mud and pointed at his stomach. "Your gem. Can I see what happened? It'll be easier than you trying to explain."

"Oh. I guess you can." I scooted closer and lifted the bottom of my shirt. "Just be careful."

Smoke started to rise from Mo's hand as he brought it closer. The instant it touched my Gem, I was whisked away from my body. I was standing in my home, Garnet coming undone and Sapphire running away after the revelation. Amethyst and I sharing a pizza as we looked for Ruby. Ruby acting like a cowboy in the countryside. The proposal and the following wedding. The Diamonds invading. Flying off to Homeworld and coming face to face with White Diamond. My gem being pulled out and fusing with myself. Coming home to heal the corrupted gems. Spinel's attack and her song in the withered garden.

Then I was thrown off course. I was standing in a blistering hot room, my foot feeling like it was on fire. Bismuth was looming over me and face shocked. I looked down, seeing my hands holding my mom's sword stabbed through Bismuth's body.

"You should've shattered me back then. At least if I were in pieces I wouldn't have to know how little I mattered to you. You didn't even tell'em. You bubbled me away and didn't even tell your friends. My friends."

She was crying, any form of aggression from before was gone. It felt like my heart was breaking. I heard myself say "I'm going to tell them. I'm gonna tell them everything."

Bismuth's eyes grew wider, more surprised than before. Then, she laughed, low and painfully, before she said: "Then you really are better than her."

Her body poofed, exploding into a cloud that obscured my vision. I was pulled away again, the scene vanished around me. It was replaced by cliffs of red stone riddled with human-shaped holes. I saw Amethyst beside me, Peridot too.

"I only came back to finish you off."

There was a large crater in the ground. In the center was Jasper, hunched over as her skin seemed to squirm. A pale-blue patch pattern was spreading across her arm and reaching to the rest of her body. Small horns started to emerge. She was becoming corrupted. I wanted to help make her go back before it was too late. I said "Try not to move," like this was an everyday injury that could have become worse if she did.

Jasper stood and pointed a finger at me even as the blue and horns started to take over. "You can't manipulate me, Rose Quartz!"

I raised my hands, trying to show her I wasn't trying to hurt her. "I-I… I'm not manipulating. I'm trying to help."

"Help? HELP!" Jasper's voice was rising. The horns grew larger, threatening to swallow her whole. "I've been fighting from the second I broke free of the Earth's crust because of what you did to my Colony! Because of what you did to my planet!" She struck the ground, the impact rattling the stone under my feet. "Because of what you DID TO MY DIAMOND!"

I drew back, confused at what she was saying. What happened to her diamond? "I… Yellow Diamond?"

Jasper stuttered, her face more stunned than from anything else that had transpired. She screamed, a desperate fury fueling her voice. "MY DIAMOND! YOUR DIAMOND! PINK DIAMOND!"

The scene broke apart into a swirling cloud. It sped by faster, scenes and images from my past passing by in front of my eyes. Volleyball's crack spreads as she continues to say that she's fine. Yellow crying after singing to Blue, the second Diamond moving to comfort the usually stoic ruler while being surrounded by hundreds or thousands of bubbled Rose Quartz gems. Pearl yelling at Garnet and Amethyst and knocking Rose's picture off the wall. My dad telling me stories about her while I sit patiently and listen. Finding the tape in Lion's mane and watching it with Sadie. Finding the alternate tape that had been left for Nora. Staring up at her statue when we tried to heal Amethyst.

Then it became unfamiliar. Completely new scenes filled with other Gems that I didn't know. It went by so fast, blurring and merging into a stream of unknown memories. My head was splitting! I want this to stop! I don't want to look at this! Make it stop! Stop!

"STOP!"

The images disappeared. I was back in the field, next to the pond. Mo was next to me, his eyes wide and hand frozen in front of him. He was sitting differently than before. It took a moment to realize that I was staring down at him. I was standing, my hands in front of me. It was difficult to breathe. My skin was slick with sweat. Then, I understood.

I had pushed him.

Mo opened his mouth, made a noise, then closed it. He drew himself close again and dropped his gaze from me. "I'm sorry."

I didn't know what to say. He made me relive all of that, memories I didn't want to look back on. I had to go through them like they were new. But he wasn't trying to hurt me. He was trying to understand. It got out of hand, an accident. Still, I felt the memories on me, pinning me down under their weight.

"Guys, are you alright?" Lapis was back. Condor was suspended above her, trapped inside a giant bubble of water.

I looked down at Mo again, taking a deep breath to steady myself. "Yeah. We're fine. Let's go."

Mo picked himself up and followed as we walked back to the Warp Pad. The silence was almost suffocating as we passed humongous strawberries. Lapis tried to get my attention, her concern clear as day, but I wasn't up for talking. It was a while until we were finally before the Warp Pad. I turned to Mo and said: "We'll wait for the others to get back. You can talk to them when they do."

"Thanks." He replied meekly. His eyes stayed down.

I sighed. "Let's just go."

We all gathered on the Warp Pad, the device activating and carrying us away. We landed back in the Temple, which was empty of anyone else. The dining table was in shambles and the door was buckled. The sliced off piece of the counter laid on the floor. Lapis stepped off first, saying "I'll put Condor somewhere safe until they get back." She walked up the stairs and disappeared from view. I heard the balcony door open and then close.

I was left alone with Mo. As I walked towards the fridge, he sat on the couch. I picked a can of grape soda, opened it, and took a long drink. As I set the can on the counter, Mo said: "I didn't mean to hurt you."

I took a breath before facing him. "I know. It was an accident."

"You're mad."

"Not mad. Just… upset."

"I wanted to know what happened. I didn't mean to dig that deep."

I scoffed. "Of course not."

"What?" Mo looked up for the first time since the incident.

"You didn't mean to? How about just not swimming around in my head like that? That was too far!"

"I didn't mean to." Mo kept himself small, limbs held close to himself. For some reason, the sight made me irritated. " It just happened. They were so strong that when I looked at one, the rest just came up. They were so vivid."

"That's because I remember them pretty well. And I didn't want to go through them a second time!" A pit of anger in my gut had unraveled, coiling up my throat and making my face grow hot. "I feel horrible just thinking about what happened! I hate that my mom hurt people because she was selfish! I'm so messed up because of her that I just want to forget that all happened! I have a therapist because she screwed up. You made me see it all again!"

Mo was shaking. He was hugging himself again as his hair became smoke. "Steven, I-"

"Quit acting like that!" I barked at him. He flinched. "You keep acting all frail and vulnerable. How many more times am I going to have to see you cry and make me feel bad for you? I've tried to help you but it just keeps getting worse! My family fights for days over you! I forgive you. You fight me and Amethyst. I forgive you. You fuse with Condor and attack me. I forgive you. How much longer is this going on where you make something bad happen, cry, and then I try to make you feel better?"

Mo was quiet. His gaze was locked on me, but his face was unreadable. The smoke around his hair stayed close around him.

"I just want to be done with all of this. I've dealt with Gems making my life difficult for years. I thought I was done. And now, my mom sends another my way that keeps making things harder! Why does it keep happening? Why couldn't you have just stayed away?"

The word left me in a raging rush. Once they were out, I realized what I had said. My anger died out, leaving me empty. Mo stared at me, his face a myriad of emotions that I couldn't begin to decipher. He dropped his gaze, his smoke wrapping around him. "I didn't mean to make it difficult, Steven." His voice was so quiet. It didn't hold any energy or emotion. It was empty, hollow. "I thought I could come back and fix things. I didn't mean to cause you trouble."

"Mo…" Guilt was already clawing at me. It made my inside grow cold. "I didn't mean that. I want to help you but it's not easy. I had to go through a lot of stuff in my life, and I wanted things to be quiet for once. I didn't mean to yell at you like that."

"But you're right. I keep doing this. I don't know what I'm supposed to do or what I'm supposed to say." Mo let smoke build in his hand, watching it spill over his fingers. "When things go wrong, it's overwhelming. I can't think. I can't talk right. I feel like I'm getting buried and everything I do adds more and more dirt on top. I feel like I'm about to break, and I don't know how to handle that. When that happened, Condor would retrieve me and I'd start over somewhere else. I don't know how to handle what's going on. And because of that, I'm hurting all of you. I don't want to hurt any of you."

There was nothing to say. I couldn't find any words to comfort him, but I didn't want to start yelling again. There was just… nothing. I turned away from Mo, took a seat at the counter, and took small sips from my soda. I could hear the tides crashing against the shore. Seagulls were crying out as they flew around the sky. And neither of us said anything. It may have been seconds, minutes, or hours, but it was quiet. And the silence was crushing.

Eventually, I heard footsteps. They were slow, quiet, barely there. A whir grew to life as a glow made the room light up. It stopped. I already knew what happened, but I dreaded turning around all the same. The couch was empty.

I turned back and set my elbows on the counters. I let my head fall into my hands, cursing as the silence grew even heavier.

* * *

I didn't want to raise my head. I didn't want to chase after him. I didn't want to do anything. I wanted to sit here and wish that this was simpler. I want this to be over already. I want my peaceful ending for once without another problem crashing in. I don't want to feel bad about that.

But I can't help replaying those words in my head, ones that I never would have said before. I felt horrible about yelling at Mo, but another part of me felt satisfied at my outburst. It doesn't make sense! What am I doing? Why doesn't this make sense?

"Steven, where's Mo?"

I had forgotten that Lapis was here. I didn't want to see her after that. I pressed my hands harder against my eyes.

"What's going on? Steven, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Lapis."

"Then what happened?" I heard her footsteps descending the stairs and coming towards me. "Did Mo run off? Is everything alright?"

Her voice was grating against my ears. It bounced around with my thoughts, pounding against my skull until it felt like it would crack open. "Everything's fine," I forced out.

"It doesn't look alright. Steven, where's Mo?"

"I don't know."

What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

The worry in Lapis's voice was growing, making me feel even worse than before. "What do you mean? Steven, why won't you look at me?"

"Just stop. Please." It was getting louder. Every sound around me felt like it was swelling beyond reason, a monstrous orchestra breaking me apart.

"Why won't you talk to me?"

"I CAN'T!" I slammed my fists on the counter, crushing a section to rubble. My fists were glowing pink.

"Steven…"

I closed my eyes, blocking out the sight of the glow. I took several deep breaths, letting the stress inside me start to lessen. With each exhale, a little bit more vanished until I opened my eyes to my regular hands. I glanced at the damage I had caused before looking at Lapis. She was watching me, her expression still. I lowered my hands, my body relaxing. "Sorry."

Lapis stared at the damage as she said: "Have your powers been going haywire again?"

"I've had a couple of incidents today. Nothing extreme."

"When was the last time you went to see your therapist?"

I thought about that, recalling how many days had passed since everything with Mo started. "I'm not for sure. I haven't been in after everything went nuts. I may have missed a couple of appointments."

"That's not good." Lapis turned her heads towards the window. She laid a hand on my shoulder and said: "Come sit with me." She pressed against the door, forcing open the warped wood. I stood up and followed her outside.

Lapis strode to the edge of the balcony and sat down, her sandaled feet dangling in the air. I sat beside her. The sun was still rising, much higher than it was during the encounter with Dolomite. The sky was tinged peach, slowly morphing into a clear blue. Waves reflected the sunlight in broken flashes, bright spots among the water. A breeze ghosted by and filled my lungs with fresh air. It was utterly calm.

"So tell me, what's going on?" Lapis said, still staring out at the ocean. "What happened to Mo?"

I've never been good at lying, and I'm almost equally bad at secrets. With the guilt eating at me, it was easy to let it spill out. "On the battlefield, Mo made me relive some memories of my mom and the people she hurt. By accident, he said. I got freaked and pushed him. He tried to apologize, but I got mad. He started crying again, and I got angrier. I yelled at him to stop being pathetic and that I wished he had stayed away. He left after that."

"Wow. Sounds like you screwed up badly," Lapis said bluntly.

"But I don't know why I blew up at him!" I threw my arms in the air. "It just came flooding out! I don't even know if I was angry at him! Just… seeing him like that after the accident made me… feel… horrible."

Lapis crossed her arms on the railing and rested her chin on top. "Steven, I know it's not my place to ask what you talk about with your therapist. That's your safe zone. It's none of my business. But I can ask one question?"

It was kind of an unspoken rule after I started my session. I dealt with my issue in private during my appointments and tried to use that to improve myself. The Gems never asked me to talk about what we discussed. It was my place and what I needed. My first instinct was to say no, but I know Lapis wouldn't be asking without a good reason. "What is it?"

"Did you ever discuss your mom?"

Just the mention of her sent a storm of emotions churning in my chest. "A bit. It's… still not easy."

"Okay. Then, I want to ask something else."

"...okay."

Lapis took a second of silence, her eyes on the shore, before she asked: "Does Mo remind you of your mom?"

"...I guess." I shrugged, pulling my jacket a little around me even though it wasn't very cold. "He makes me think about her. About everyone she hurt."

"Is that why you want to help? Because of her?" Lapis rotated her head, staring at me sideways from her makeshift pillow.

I drew out the seconds after the question. I wanted to make it an eternity before I had to answer. "I think so. Everyone she hurt is still hurting. Bismuth, Pearl, the Diamonds, Spinel, and everyone she was around. I've been cleaning up after her for so long that I just want it to be over already."

"But you've never lost your temper before. Why now?" Lapis asked gently.

"Because he's not mad. Mo's not mad!" I clenched my fists before I realized. I took another breath and relaxed them. "I don't understand. Everyone else has some sort of problem with my mom. Bismuth tried to kill me. Jasper had a whole life-dilemma after my mom faked her shattering. Both Pearl and Volleyball have issues after serving her. The Diamonds were monsters afterward! But Mo… Mo's not like that. When he was part of Dolomite, he told me he wasn't mad. He even asked me if I thought she was a bad person. Why isn't he mad or sad or at least something? Why am I-" I caught myself, feeling my heart hammering against my ribs.

"You're mad," Lapis finished.

I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging at the curls. "No. I don't know. It's so confusing! I don't even know what I'm supposed to believe about her! Why does Mo get to be alright when I can't even make up my mind?"

Lapis turned her gaze back to the sunset. She lifted her head and leaned back, holding herself up with her hands spread behind her. "Maybe he's like me."

That made me freeze. "Like you how?"

"Remember what he told us? About how he always had to change himself?" I nodded, not seeing where this was going. "I understand how he's feeling. When you freed me, I was so angry and messed up. I don't even want to tell you what it was like in that mirror, watching the sky change day after day but never being able to move. And when I was found, I was still stuck. I was mad at them. I hated the Gems who found me and didn't let me out. Frankly, I hated the Earth. I wanted to leave. Remember that?"

"Vaguely," I said jokingly. "I remember you stealing the ocean to build a giant tower."

"Right. That." Lapis chuckled weakly. "I was frustrated after being trapped that I took the first opportunity to lash out. I attacked you guys, and I almost killed you and her friend! I thought that was okay. I made myself think it was okay. Then, there was Malachite. I was trapped in there so that I could protect you. It was Jasper's fault. That was my excuse. Justifying the way I threw all my anger at Jasper, making her feel as horrible as I did. And even after I was free, I was inconsiderate and heartless to Peridot. I just wanted to make her feel bad because I felt bad. It felt good to make others hurt because I was hurting. After thousands of years of being hopelessly stuck, I felt liberated. But I was a horrible person."

"Lapis…"

"I hated myself. I hated that it felt good to make you guys hurt just to make myself feel better. I don't want to be that awful person. I didn't want to be the coward who ran away and left her friends or the person that kept lashing out selfishly. So… I chose to let it go." Lapis lifted her face to the sky, the sunlight flashing in her eyes and the breeze stirring her hair. "I left that person behind and made someone new. A good person who was able to move on. Someone who could smile and love her friends and not bottle up her pain. I wanted to be someone better, or at least someone trying to be better. And… I like that person.

"That's what I see in Mo. He just wants to change, to be better. He just doesn't know how to do that. Trust me, it took a long time to get started and I'm still not done. I can't tell you if I'm right, but maybe Mo's way is just to forgive. He wants to move on no matter what happened in the past. I understand that better than anyone."

I never knew. Lapis never talked so openly like this until recently, especially about herself. I never realized she had so much to say. "Lapis, I didn't know. I mean, I knew you were trying to be a better person, but I didn't know how much you wanted to change. And… I think the person you are now is incredible."

Lapis looked away from the sky to meet my eye. She smiled, her face a picture of ease. "Thanks, Steven. I'm not trying to tell you how to feel, but maybe Mo's way is just how he works. It's not for everyone, but I'm sure he is not over it completely. Not that easily."

"Yeah, I guess."

Lapis sighed. "I'm not great at this stuff. I just let my mouth spew stuff and hope I get it right."

"You sound like you know what you're talking about," I tell her.

"Maybe. It's a work in progress."

"Hey, Lapis?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think my mom was a bad person?"

Lapis thought it over before saying: "Not completely."

I straightened my back. I wasn't expecting that. "Why not?"

Lapis shrugged. "I don't know. Rose and Pink never really affected me as much as the rest of you. Something about her story just sits with me. As I said, I'm not for sure."

"I think… that my mom was a bad person."

Lapis placed a hand on my shoulder, the grip soft. "That's alright. It's your opinion after all. There's no right answer."

I shook my head. "Still, it doesn't feel right."

Lapis gave my shoulder a gentle pat. "Then you're with a bunch of other people in the same boat as you. You're not alone."

My posture loosened. The sunrise was officially over, the last of the warm tinged colors gone, replaced by sky blue. The storm inside me had died out. My thoughts were calm once more. I was me again.

"Lapis, thank you." I twisted my upper body and hugged her. "I needed that."

I could feel Lapis smile as she hugged me back. "No prob, Bob."

"It's Steven," I replied as we both started laughing, the last week rolling off my shoulders and burning away under the warm sunlight.


End file.
